Happily Ever After
by thecarouselneverstopsturning
Summary: (Changed title)15 years later, Mondler are stil madly in love. Sequel to 'This is our Life' and 'Our World' Please review even if you don't like it. DISCONTINUED AS NOBODY SEEMS TO BE READING THIS ANYMORE.
1. Thing called love

**Okay so I thought of a sequel for 'I Love You' but this is a spolier alert for future chapters.**

 **Mondler have their three kids Sophie, Karen and Daniel then two more kids named Luke(Monica's pregnant with him in the prequel) and Clara. The lobsters had four kids named Emma, Jason, Anthony and Jaci(JACKIE; my mom and science teacher's nickname for their real name of Jacqueline). And J/P have two kids named Joey Jr. Jr. and Reginè...you'll just have to see what happens with these two.**

"I'm gonna miss you two" Monica hugs the twins Daniel and Karen. Then gave Daniel a wet kiss on the cheek.

"Aww Mom!" Daniel wipes the red lipstick off his cheek.

"Kiddies we got all your stuff in the moving van is here and I called a taxi to take you two to NYU" Chandler puts his arm around his long time wife.

"Dad how did you and Mom make Sophie?" Karen asked. She looked like a teenage Monica after she lost the weight.

Chandler sighed. He didn't want to tell them that he deflowered Monica on thansgiving 1988.

Then they sit in silence for a few minutes until he saw the cab pull up and shouted up the stairs "Luke! Clara! Your siblings are leaving for college. Say goodbye to them!"

Luke and Clara come down the satire with their MP3 players in their hands and are both chewing gum.

"What?" Clara asked. The day she came into the world, everybody said she looked just like her grandmother Nora. With her dad Chandlers deep blue eyes and her mother Monica's facial features; she looked like a real Bing while her older sisters on the other hand looked a like a real Geller but with the grayish blue eyes of a Bing.

"Bye bye" Luke hugged D&K since he knew they were leaving to go to university. Luke looked like his father and brother: a real Bing also. His parents weren't that concerned about him really but his father was worried that he was turning into his grandfather Charles becuase Luke liked to dress up in his sisters clothes.

"I'm gonna miss you two so much" Monica hugged the twins so tightly.

D&K then went into the cab with their luggage.

Tears formed in Monica's eyes as the twins were leaving to go to NYU. Sophie was at the same culinary school that she went to.

"I miss them so much all ready" Monica sighed.

"I know Babe" Chandler held her close kissing her neck.

At NYU, the cab let out the Bing twins.

"Good luck!" the cab driver shouted out, Daniel noticed she had straight long red hair and very green eyes.

"Dan! We are gonna be late. Let's go" Karen pulled him into the university.

When they got in there, Karen said "Eww that classroom looks gross"

"Hmm you are turning into Grandma Geller" Daniel stated. Karen inherited Judy's criticalness.

That evening Karen flopped down on her bed. Her friend Jaina was sharing a room with her.

She started unpacking her stuff and put it in neatly. Then went back on the bed and closed her eyes, "Long day?" Jania asked.

"Yeah" Karen replied and added "My math profissor is so boring and Daniel's in my class"

"Your brother Daniel is hot" Jaina closed down her book and purred.

"You like him. Go to his dorm and sweet talk him then" Karen told her.

A few minutes later a handsome black haired italian man came in.

Karen immediately recognized the man's face and asked "Joey what're you doing here?"

"I just broke up with Phoebe because I had a crush on you" Joey explained.

"Joey! You didn't have to break up with Aunt Pheebs" Karen looked at him.

"No I wanted to" Joey insisted then he pushed his lips onto her's.

"Mhmm" Karen melted in the kiss then asked "Covers?" and locked the door.

Then they get under the covers and take off each others clothing.

"You wanna do this?" Joey asked at the fact that he is taking away his two best friends' daughters flower.

"Yes" Karen nods.

TBC...

 **This is a terrible morning so far because last night I ate no dinner since I fell asleep when I came home from school. Them at like 12am my step grandfather came in and starting spanking me. Today is an A-day which means I have no advisory and I have music. Oh no :^(**


	2. Forbidden

**Hi there guys! So I found out that my current math grade is a 53 which means I'I failing in the class. Oh and just letting y'all know, C/M live in Long Island near her parents & and the Gellers didn't sell their home, everybody still kept their apartments. Yes this is set in 2009(15 years more then chapter 6 of 'I love you')**

Joey had just realized what him and Karen did.

"Oh, God, Karen, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Joey said softly.

"What're you talking about, Joey?" Karen sat up.

"This. Us. You and me doing... you know what. This is wrong; we shouldn't have done it. You're my best friends' daughter; I'm old enough to be your father." Joey started to panic.

"No, no, don't say that." Karen shushed him.

"It's true! I mean, for God's sakes, you're just a kid. I took advantage of you; I shouldn't have done that." Joey protested.

"No, that's not true. I'm not child anymore; I've grown up now. You didn't take advantage of me; you wanted to do this. Remember? You said you left Aunt Phoebe because you liked me; I went along with because I like you too. I'm glad we did what we did, Joey." Karen told him.

"Gosh, Karen, I... I... I don't know what to say. I- I mean I..." Joey started saying.

"You don't need to say anything. Just don't be sorry for what we did; you don't have anything to be sorry about." Karen reassured him. She looked like a teenage Monica right after she lost all the weight.

"So... what do we do now?" Joey questioned

"Let's not worry about that right now; let's just see where this goes." Karen replied then their lips enlocked into a passionate kiss.

Back at the Bing house hours later...

Monica was making the dinner when the phone rang "Hello" she put it to her ear.

"Mom...me me and Joey" she heard Karen's low voice.

Then Chandler came down wrapping his arms behind her and starts to kiss her neck.

"Hun here this" she put the phone to his ear.

Then Chandler started to say things in the phone, Karen was heard yelling through the phone.

"So what if I'm dating Joey?! You fucked Mom and almost dumped her if it wasn't for her parents"

The phone gets hanged up "She's unbelievable" Chandler muttered moving Monica closet do him and placing kisses down her neck.

"Oh my God, how could this have happened? I mean, I knew Karen had a crush on Joey when she was four - she fucking told me, for crying out loud - but I never thought anything would ever come of it! I mean, come on, it's Joey; he would never- I thought he would never ever- Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick!" Monica gasped.

"I can't believe this! I can't believe my so-called best friend went and... deflowered my little princess and is seeing her behind our backs! Well, you know what? I'm not gonna let him get away with this. Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go over to his place and kick his ass!" Chandler looked angry.

"Look, Chandler, I don't think you getting your ass kicked is a solution. We just have to talk to Karen; show her just how weird and unnatural and, and... blegh this whole... whatever you wanna call it between her and Joey is." Monica placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you really think she'll listen?"

"Well, she has to. I mean, we're her parents right?"

"Yeah, you're right."

"Let's go upstairs and make love Mon" Chandler suggested and starts to kiss her.

"Honey you know we can't when I'm making dinner" Monica replied but then said "I guess we can. Luke and Clara can make the dinner when they come home"

"Mhhmm" the kiss became more heated.

"Carry me upstairs and make hot passionate love to me" Monica held her arms out him.

"As you wish" Chandler grinned and carried her upstairs.

A few minutes later Luke(14) and Clara(13) enter the house.

"Where are Mom and Dad?" Luke asked noticing the pot still on the stove.

Clara then went up to their parents bedroom and heard them going "Oh Chandler". "Oh Monica".

She ran back downstairs, "Yes they are doin' it"

"Eww" Luke groaned and added "They always embarass us at school with their mushy shit. A couple times they were caught doing it on stage"

"I know" Clara sighed moving her light blonde hair away from her face. When Clara was born, it was a shocker because she didn't get black hair or brown hair because she inherited Nora's blonde hair.

Charles was pretty jealous when he saw the resemblance between Clara and Nora. And Ross was freaked out. Joey said Clara was gonna get a ton of guys crushing on her when she got older and in fact all the guys are crushing on her.

TBC...

Authors note: I'm sorry if this is dumb and short. I woke up this morning and finished it. Pretty please review :^)


	3. Our Love

Authors Note: Hi guys, sorry for the wait.

 _That evening..._

(spoken by Karen) "Look, Mom and Dad, I know what you're gonna say, but could you please just hear us out first?"

(spoken by Joey) "She's right, you guys. I think you both should let us say our piece before you start judging us."

(spoken by Monica) "Huh, this should be good."

(spoken by Chandler) "All right, we'll give you both a chance to explain yourselves and THEN I'all kick Joey's ass."

Everybody rolls their eyes at that last part.

(spoken by Joey) "Look, I know you're both in a place right now where you think I've betrayed Phoebe for a younger woman and I'm a dirty old man and you really want to hate my guts, but it really isn't like that. I'm really not betraying Phoebe by doing this; I honestly really did love her a lot - emphasis on 'did' - but it just wasn't working out between us anymore. No matter what we did, Phoebe just weren't getting along anymore and I couldn't deal with being in a relationship with someone I wasn't happy with."

(spoken by Monica) "And so you divorced her, I get that, but why our daughter Karen? I mean, you're, like, a whole person who can drink older than her."

(spoken by Joey) "Yes, I'm aware of that, Mon, but honestly, that really doesn't change how I feel about her. Really, I'm not looking for some kind of trophy wife; I really, really like Karen a lot, always have ever since she grew up and I started to realize how much we really have in common."

(spoken by Chandler) "And I take it you feel the same way about him, Karen?"

(spoken by Karen) "Yes, Dad, I do. I know it all started out as just a harmless little crush when I was four, but it never really went away and as I got older, it became so much more than that. But I never talked to anyone about it because I knew he was in love with Aunt Phoebe and I never tried to convince myself that he reciprocated my feelings."

(spoken by Monica) "And now that you know he does, you finally decided to let those feelings out and pursue them?"

(spoken by Chandler) "So, this is something that the both of you really want?"

(spoken by Joey and Karen simultaneously) "Yes, it is."

(spoken by Monica) "Honestly, I don't know what to say. I mean, I should really be outraged and disgusted by all of this, but after listening to what you two just had to say, I'm actually not."

(spoken by Chandler) "Neither am I, really. In fact, if anything, I feel like I'm actually okay with it, believe it or not.

(spoken by Karen) "So, you guys are actually gonna let this happen?"

(spoken by Monica) "Y'know what? I think we probably should. I mean, it's obvious the both of you are sincere when you say you love each other and honestly we wouldn't want Joey to get back with Phoebe if it's just gonna make him unhappy."

(spoken by Chandler) "Yeah, Joey really deserves to be happy and if that means being with my daughter, then so be it. Just be warned though, man: you ever break her heart, I WILL break your face."

(spoken by Joey) "Don't worry about that, buddy. I'm never letting this one go."

That evening Mondler are cuddling...

"Remember when we skipped school when you were early in your pregnancy, with out oldest Sophie?" Chandler kissed his wife of 21 years hand where the diamond- encrusted wedding band lay.

"I remember" Monica smiled then he proceeded to make love to her.

[January 1989. The Geller home at AM time]

(Authors Note: This was kind of inspired by the Friends story, Soulmates by hugefriendsfan00)

 **10 Weeks...**

 _"Monica honey, why aren't you getting ready for school?" Judy asked._

 _"Mom I don't feel so good" Monica complained._

 _"Come on, just because you got pregnant by the boy who hate Thanksgiving in your first year of college. Doesn't mean you can't get ready" Judy closed the door._

 _Monica sighed, her parents were supportive over the whole thing but they kind of still hated Chandler for knocking her up._

 _A few minutes later, Chandler came to the Geller home. He entered the girl who cut his toe and knocked up._

 _"Hey Babe" Chandler wrapped his arms around his girlfriend/mother of his child and placed a hand on her little bump._

 _"Hey" She greeted back._

 _"Mon, you don't look so good. Let's take the day off and my mom is with her man child all day, so we can just stay there" Chandler helped her up._

 _Nora was also very supportive over the whole Chandler knocking up Monica thing._

 _More supportive then the Gellers for sure._

[Back to the present day...]

"I think the best thing you could have done was get me pregnant the night, I cut off your toe" Monica said then added "I love you Chandler"

Chandler smiled lovingly then started to make love to her again.

 ** _TBC..._**

 ** _Authors Note: Adios for right now! Aue Revoir Nosotros. Haha Lol ㈇7_**


	4. Trouble

Authors Note: Went to Dave&Busters with my mom and sister this evening. Also I was in a writing mood, enjoy. Wait I have the data of the kids.

 **Sophie Rachel Bing: August 1989- Mondler's daughter.**

 **Daniel Chandler Bing: September 1990 - Mondler's son.**

 **Karen Phoebe Bing: September 1990(her and Daniel are twins)- Mondler's daughter.**

 **Luke Francis Bing: December 1994(Monica's pregnant with him in the prequel 'I love you') - Mondler's son.**

 **Clara Muriel Bing: May 1996 - Mondler's daughter.**

 **Ben Geller: May 1995 - Ross and Carols son.**

 **Emma Geller: 1999- Ross and Rachels daughter.**

 **Jason Geller: 2000- Ross and Rachels son.**

 **Anthony Geller: 2000- Ross and Rachels son**

 **Jaci Geller: 2002- Ross and Rachels daughter.**

 **Joey Jr. Jr. Tribbiani: 2001- Joey and Phoebe's son.**

 **Regine Tribbiani: 1999- Joey and Phoebe's daughter.**

 **(Joey and Pheebs also have another daughter)**

 **Brooke Tribbiani: Born 2003- Joey and Phoebe's daughter.**

 _A few nights later..._

Luke came into his parents bedroom to ask them a math question.

But then he saw something horrible.

He saw his parents do something weird but he doesn't see very good.

He is totally blindsided when he saw his parents Chandler and Monica doing something.

But he goes over and saw his dad on top of his Mom. And she is making weird sounds and currsing.

Right when they're about to turn over to see who the mysterious person is, Luke bolts out of the room.

The longtime married couple then get back to business.

"Oh Monica" Chandler moaned.

"Oh Chandler" Monica moaned back.

Back in the kitchen, Clara is chopping up carrots when Luke ran in.

"Woah Big brother! What just happened?" She asked.

"I just saw Mom and Dad going at it" he explained.

"So what? My room is right next to theirs. I hear them going at it all the time" Clara shrugged and sat on the couch.

The next morning, the two twins come downstairs to see their parents suitcases packed and looking happy.

"Yo Ma and Dad, why are your suitcases packed?" Luke asked.

"Well Son, me and your mother decided to go onr romantic getaway. This weekend" Chandler explained and wrapped his arm around Monica kissing her neck.

On sunday morning, Clara gently sook Luke as he was sleeping on the living room couch.

"Mommy...five more minutes" Luke groaned.

"Mom and Dad are going to be home soon and the house is a mess from the party we threw last night" Clara rolled her eyes.

"Lets sleep some more" she feel asleep on the other couch.

An hour later Mondler enter to find the house a mess.

"Did Luke and Clara have a party while we were gone?" Monica asked.

Then Chandler say "Either that or the neatness police finally came looking for you."

Monica answered "I can't believe this! I distinctly told those two only to have their closest friends come over if they decide to have company; not invite the entire student body over to come trash the place!"

Chandler replied "Ye, yes, I know you did, but, honey, standing around here and complaining about it isn't going fix this mess."

Then Monica say "Yeah, you're right, Chandler. There is a way to fix this mess."

Chandler kissed her hand saying "See, that's the spirit Mo-"

Monica called out "LUKE! CLARA! GET YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Then Luke and Clara come in from the kitchen and say "Yes, Mom?"

Then Monica could say "Don't you 'yes, Mom' me, you two! Just tell me one thing: who's responsible for this mess?"

Then Luke could say "Okay, Mom, please give us a chance to explain-"

Then Monica could say "Did you two have a party here?"

Then Clara could say "Yes, we did, bu-"

Then Monica could say "A BIG party?"

Then Luke could say "Yes, a big one, bu-"

Then Monica could say "After I distinctly told you two only to have your closest friends over if you decide to have company?"

Then both Luke and Clara could say "Yes, after all that, bu-"

Then Monica could say "So, apparently when I said only have your closest friends over, what you two heard was 'invite all the kids from High School over to completely trash the place up'."

Then Chandler could say "Uh, Mon, I think they're trying tell you some-"

Then Monica could say "You stay out of this!" then she turns to Luke and Clara and says "Do either of you two have any idea how much trouble you would be in I came home to find the house like this?"

Then Clara could say "Yes, we do, that's why-"

Then Monica could say "Good, 'cause you two are in big trouble! You know what your punishment for this gonna be?"

Then Luke could say "Clean up the mess?"

Then Monica could say "Clean up the mess" then she does a double take and says "Whoa, wait. How did you two know that was what your punishment would be?"

Then Clara could say "Because that's what we're doing." while she and Luke hold up trash bags and other utensils for cleaning up the mess.

Then Luke could say "That's what we were trying to tell you, Mom."

Then a chagrined Monica could say "Okay, well, then keep doing what you're doing."

Then Luke and Clara resume cleaning up the mess while Monica sheepishly backs up into the arms of Chandler who gives her am "I tried to tell ya!" kind of look.

That evening Mondler were cuddling.

"Our Kids are so well trained. I love you Mon" Chandler said.

"I love you too. You are so wonderful" Monica answered.

Chandler smiled lovingly then started to make love to her.

 _TBC..._

Authors Note: Sweet and Simple chapter. Good night :^),


	5. My family

Authors Note: Some very early morning updating before I go off to school in two hours. The whole Joey and Karen ordeal may seem weird but I like it and it's better then Monica and Richard(what many of you say its like). Well this is is just gonna be a chapter of reminiscing, enjoy!

 _Two weeks later..._

Luke found a picture album and asked his father who was watching the Knicks;

"Dad what is this?"

Chandler looked closely at it then said "Well Son, this is all of you"

"Sweet!" Luke started looking in it.

There was one picture and it was of unborn Luke and Monica at the dance studio where she went into labor with him.

The caption date read **December 21, 1994**

"Dad what is this picture supposed to be" He asked.

"Son, this is when your mother went into labor with you. She was so big that people thought she was hiding a bowling ball under her shirt" Chandler chuckles at the last part.

Luke cringed, he didn't wanna hear about how his parents concieved him.

Then Chandler continued "People thought she was carrying twins, she was so big"

"If I didn't get your mom and siblings out of the dance studio, you would have been born there"

Chandler then started thinking about a vivid memory when Monica went into labor with Luke at the dance studio fifteen years ago...

 _-Previously on F.R.I.E.N.D.S(15 years ago: December 1994)..._

 _A pile of water forms beneath her and Chandler hearing his pregnant wife's cries comes around with the kids asking "Honey what just happened."_

 _"Baby Boy Bing is coming out of me right now. Hurts so bad" Monica cries in terrible pain. "Cara Mia let's get you to the hospital" Chandler puts her hands in his and leads her out of the dance studio into the outdoors with their three kids behind them._

 _"Come on people! My wife is in labor" Chandler calls out to people in the way._

 _"Contraction, Contraction. Oh my god it hurts so bad!" Monica screamed._

 _"I know Babe. I'm so sorry, I love you" Chandler placed a hand gently on her large belly then kissed her lips softly._

 _"You did this to me again, you don't have a tiny person coming out of you right now" She stated angrily._

 _"Is Mommy okay" Karen asked concerned for her mother who was in pain._

 _Chandler nodded. He didn't want to scare his and Monica's children even more._

 _Then they all got in the car._

[Back to the present day...]

"That was a crazy two days. Oh my god...your mother was in so much pain, y'know she was labor with you for 2 days."

Luke nodded then saw a picture of him as a toddler sitting next to broken plates.

"I remember this was a big thanksgiving, when your mother was one month pregnant with Clara. Everyone came and you knocked over your mothers china plates, your first word was 'crap' because or that. I said you werent able to say it again until you were twelve, but then your Grandma Nora chimed in and said my first word was 'ass'" Chandler finished explaining.

"Really Dad, your first word was 'ass'?" Luke asked and started to chuckle.

"It was an impulse. Blame your Grandpa Charles" Chandler told him then starting thinking about the thanksgiving of 1995.

 **Thanksgiving 1995.**

 _As everyone was getting the table ready for desert and doing other things, Amy approached Joey and started to run her hands though his hair._

 _"So, Joey, I was just wondering: since things didn't work out between you and what's-her-face, perhaps I could take you out to the Rainbow Room and show you what a real woman does for fun," Amy seductively said with a wink. "What do you say?"_

 _Joey was about to politely turn down the offer but Phoebe beat him to the punch, "I say over my dead body."_

 _"Ex-squeeze me?" Amy incredulously asked. "I was talking to cute actor guy, not air-headed blonde bimbo who's songs and singing skills are both trash."_

 _A collected gasp filled the apartment as Amy had hid Phoebe right where it hurt._

 _"You bitch!" Phoebe snarled in a cold, silent voice._

 _"Oh, am I? Or am I just the first to say out loud what everyone else thinks?"_

 _Everyone else quickly made gestures to say that Amy doesn't know what she's talking about._

 _"You wanna know why you don't want me going out with Joey? Because you're jealous."_

 _"Jealous of what?" Phoebe scoffed. "Your faulty brain functions, your immaturity, your total disregard for other people's feelings?"_

 _"Uh, to name a few. But no, what you're jealous of is the fact that you threw away a chance to have a really cute guy as your boyfriend over something silly and now there's a real woman around to satisfy his needs."_

 _"Oh, really? And you think you're that real woman? Please, you've got asymmetrical nostrils, stupid hair, and your tits are too small."_

 _"Oh, yeah, at least I have tits."_

 _"That's it! You're dead!"_

 _With that, Phoebe violently shoved Amy, who shoved back without hesitation._

 _"Put the plates back in the boxes! Put the plates back in the boxes!" Monica panicked. Chandler and the Gellers grabbed the boxes and proceeded to do as they were told. "Forget the bubble wrap! There isn't time!"_

 _As that was going on, Joey, Rachel and Ross were watching on as Phoebe and Amy began throwing palm strikes at each other. Phoebe got the upper hand and began using her fingers to muss up Amy's hair._

 _"Frizzy! Frizzy! Frizzy! Frizzy!"_

 _Amy broke free from the grip, quickly fixed up her hair, and began exchanging palm strikes with Phoebe again until Phoebe locked her in a headlock._

 _"Oh, my God! Shouldn't we stop this?!" Rachel exclaimed._

 _"What're you out of your mind? Let's throw some Jell-O on 'em!" Joey retorted with a huge smile on his face._

 _"Hey, someone could get hurt," Rachel pointed out._

 _"Kick her, Pheebs! Kick her!" Ross yelled._

 _"Pull her top of, Pheebs! Pull her top off!" Joey yelled._

 _Phoebe gave her would-have-been boyfriend a small glare while maintaining the headlock, resulting in Amy breaking out of the hold by biting her right breast, which in turn caused Phoebe to throw her head back in pain and release the hold, sending Amy into the door to the apartment._

 _"Aah! Oh! Ow, God! That really hurt!" Phoebe yelped out in pain while clutching her right breast. "Who bites a boob? Honestly. You fight like a woman!"_

 _Amy ignored that as she charged right for Phoebe, who stopped her momentum by simply holding her right hand on Amy's head, which Amy countered by palm striking both of Phoebe's breasts, causing Phoebe to stagger back towards the table where she accidentally knocked one of the plates off onto the floor and shatter into a thousand pieces._

 _A collective gasp once again filled the apartment as Ross had to catch Monica from fainting in front of everybody._

 _"All right, that is it!" Chandler said as he placed the box holding the rest of the plates onto the chair in front of the bar. "This is our apartment and you cannot behave this way; if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now, those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones that I picked out, they're very important to Monica and I want you to apologize to her right now."_

 _Amy tuned to Monica, who was kneeling down to clean up the mess with her mini-broom and dustpan, and said, "I'm sorry."_

 _"Mon, I'm so sorry," Phoebe apologized softly._

 _"Okay, that's better," Chandler said. "Now, I want you two to apologize to each other and mean it."_

 _Amy and Phoebe looked at each other and said, "Sorry."_

 _"By the way, that fight was totally arousing," Chandler whispered, causing Amy to give him a disgusted look and Phoebe to simply glare at him in annoyance._

 _[-]_

 _"Hey, Amy," Rachel softly approached Amy, sitting right on the sofa right near her._

 _"Hey, Rach," Amy softly replied. "I got a little out of control over there and I'm sorry."_

 _"No, it- it's all right; you didn't know that was gonna happen; none of us did. Tell you what: to make up for how everything went here, I let you use my Bloomingdale's discount?"_

 _Amy's face brightened a little. "Really? 30% off? That's so sweet!"_

 _"Actually, it's 45," Rachel corrected._

 _"You are not gonna regret this," Amy sobbed as she pulled her sister into a big hug, which Rachel returned after briefly pulling a weird face in reaction to it._

 _[-]_

 _Suddenly a really loud crash was heard throughout the apartment. Everybody looked toward the source of the sound stared agape at the little boy standing right behind the broken plates strewn across the floor._

 _"Crap," was all little Luke said after the fact._

 _Everyone just stood right where they were, gaping in shock at the little boy. After what felt like an eternity when it was really just a few seconds, Chandler finally broke the silence._

 _"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Luke just said his first word! My little boy just said his first word and I was there to see it!" he then scooped up his youngest son and hugged him proudly before turning completely serious and saying, "That was very dirty word, young man. I don't ever want to hear that come out of your mouth again until you're twelve."_

 _"Oh, pssh, 'crap' isn't that bad for a first word; as I recall, Chandler, your first word was 'ass'," Nora pointed out, much to the humor of everyone else in the apartment._

 _"Oh, Mom, you don't need to tell that story again!" Chandler begged._

 _"Hey, buck up, dude," Ross said. "At least your dad didn't bring up knocked up your mother at your sixth grade Halloween party."_

 _"What? She was Wonder Woman, I was Superman; how could I resist?" Jack interjected._

 _"Okay, as stimulating as this conversation is..." Joey began, wanting the subject to change badly, "...what I wanna know is, what do we do about the other plates? If Monica comes in here and sees this mess and knows Luke did it, she'll kill him."_

 _Chandler thought carefully about it before saying, "No, she won't have to because she's not gonna know it was Luke who did it. I'll just tell her that a raccoon came in an knocked the rest of the plates over."_

 _"Yeah, I like that." everyone else readily agreed_.

[Back to the present day...]

"Dad you really told Mom the lie" Luke asked.

"Son, you know your mom. She would have killed me and you" Chandler stated playing with his wedding band.

Then added "And your older siblings are troublemakers"

 _Ross and Rachel approached Chandler, completely impressed by the way he just took charge._

 _"Dude, that was awesome!" Ross said. "You really laid down the law with those tow."_

 _"Yeah," Rachel agreed. "Because of that, Ross and I have decided that if we both die and Monica dies, you get to take care of our kids."_

 _"Really? That's great! Thanks, guys!" Chandler exclaimed happily. "Hey, you know what? Just for that, if Monica and I die, you two can totally take care of our kids."_

 _"Really? That's so sweet! Thanks!" Rachel said._

 _"Yeah, thanks, man," Ross added. Then he asked, "Do we get Joey too?"_

 _"Ross!" Rachel scolded. She then turned to Chandler and asked, "Do we?"_

 _Chandler thought carefully before answering, "Okay, but you should both know that he east five times a day and shoves pennies up his nose."_

 _Ross and Rachel walked off, thinking it over._

 _Meanwhile, Phoebe and Judy are trying to comfort Monica as she's sweeping up the broken plate._

 _"Are you okay, sweetie?" Judy asked._

 _"Uh-huh," Monica replied, trying hard not to cry. "I mean, these things happen. I mean, it's just a plate. It's not like somebody died."_

 _"It's all right, you can mourn," Phoebe said._

 _Monica immediately broke down crying. "Thank you, it was so beautiful!"_

 _After she finished cleaning up the mess, Monica stood back and announced, "I'm gonna go to Joey's and get the pies."_

 _"Actually, it's not 'pies'; it's just 'pie'," Joey sheepishly corrected._

 _"I don't care," Monica retorted. She then had a horrible realization, "Oh, my God, I've lost the will to scold."_

 _Before Monica could leave the apartment, Jack called out to her._

 _"Wait, HarMonica, before you go, i'd like to say something real quick."_

 _"Okay, Dad. Shoot."_

 _"I just wanted to say on behalf of everyone here that I'm really proud of how well you and Chandler have come along and I believe the both of you are fantastic parents."_

 _Monica's spirits were instantly lifted upon hearing that. "Really?"_

 _"Really," Judy replied. "You've both raised three wonderful children and are doing a great job bringing up this fourth one. You're doing just fine."_

 _Everyone else in the apartment agreed._

 _"Well, thank you all for believing in the both of us! I feel a lot better now," Monica said happily._

 _"So do I, Mon, so do I," Chandler said as pulled her in for a kiss._

 _"Eww, guys, come on!" Ross exclaimed in disgust._

 _"Oh, I don't need to see that!" Joey exclaimed._

 _The happily married couple broke their kiss and Monica went over to Joey's apartment to get the pie._

 _Meanwhile, Phoebe and Joey approached each other._

 _"Hey," Joey said softly._

 _"Hey," Phoebe said back, her tone still slightly cold._

 _"Look, Pheebs, I, uh, I really appreciate you doing... y'know, what you did just now with Amy, but you didn't really have to do that. I was gonna say 'no' to her anyway."_

 _"Yeah, well... I just couldn't stand the way she was just throwing herself at you like that. I mean..."_

 _"Yeah, yeah, I know. I mean, if the roles had been reversed and some guy was doing that kind of stuff to you, I would've done the same thing."_

 _"You know this doesn't change anything, Joey. I'm still mad at you because of that 'cons' list."_

 _"Look, I'm really sorry about that, Pheebs; I shouldn't have done that. If I could go back and stop myself from doing that, I would."_

 _"But you can't and now the damage is done. So... there we are."_

 _"Right."_

 _Then, an awkward silence ensued between the two only to be broken by what sounded an awful lot like a fart coming from the armchair which Amy just sat down in._

 _"Jill!" Amy exclaimed with an accusatory look on her face, completely unaware that she just sat on a whoopie cushion._

 _"What?! I never touched the milk!" Jill exclaimed defensively, earning an eye roll from Amy._

 _Karen approached Sandra and said, "I bet you can't roll this quarter from your forehead all the way down to your chin."_

 _"Oh, really?" Sandra questioned. "We'll just see about that."_

 _With that, Sandra took the quarter and rolled from her forehead all the way down to her chin, resulting in a giant pencil line going right down the middle of her face._

 _"OH, GOOD LORD!" Leonard was heard screaming from the bathroom. "IT'S EVERYWHERE!"_

 _Daniel and Ben approached the Bings._

 _"Grandma and Grandpa Bing, Ben and I have something for you both."_

 _"Really? What is it, dear?" Nora asked._

 _"Jellybeans," Ben replied as he and Daniel held out their gifts to the Bings._

 _"Oh, nice. I love Jellybeans," Charles said as he and Nora took their Jellybeans._

 _They both ate their Jellybeans and immediately grimaced at the horrible tastes they produced._

 _"Ooh, what flavor is that? It tastes like a horse wiped its ass with it," Charles stated._

 _"Ugh, I feel like a moose just peed in my mouth," Nora stated._

 _Ben and Daniel high fived each other for pulling off another successful Beanboozle_.

[Back to the present day...]

"Oh my god, they really did get pranked" Luke said.

"I love your mother very much, Son" Chandler patted his back.

That evening Mondler are cuddling.

"I love you so much Mon. I can't believe I've been married to this gorgeous woman for 21 years" Chandler said.

"You are the most wonderful man" Monica answered.

Chandler smiled warmly then started to make love to her.

TBC...

Authors Note: I start FACS today at the last period of the day; 9th(wtf is up with that?!). More will be up afterschool, bye for right now! ㈴4


	6. So happy

Authors Note: This is a chapter of reminiscing for Clara. Enjoy guys!

 _Two days later..._

13 year- old, Clara Muriel Bing asked "What is this Dad?" eyeing a very organized photo album.

"Ahh Sweetie, this is of you" Chandler who is drinking a cup of coffee answered.

"Yay!" Clara started looking in it.

There was a picture of a very pregnant Monica with Phoebe who were both in bridesmaids dresses. And they were throwing a bouquet across.

"Was I still in Mom and why were her and Aunt Phoebe in bridesmaids dresses?'

Chandler nodded "Yes you were still in your mother. And her and Aunt Phoebe were wearing those because it was Aunt Rahcel and Uncle Ross' wedding so they decided to try those on before the wedding"

May **1996**

 **Mondler's apartment**

 _"I'm next to get married!" Phoebe said catching the bouquet as Ross, Rachel, Joey and Mondlers kids watched._

 _"Do you think this dress will fit Rachel?" Monica asked._

 _"Yeah" Phoebe shrugged then added "I'm more concerned over your water breaking then it fitting Rach"_

 _"Hey!" Rahcel whined and added "Don't stretch my dress out"_

 _Chandler then entered the apartment and commented "Woah our wedding all over again"_

 _"I'm gigantic and my feet are so swollen" Monica complained._

 _"Aww Baby. I'm so sorry, I love you" He kissed her lips then bent down and kissed the large baby bump._

 _"Oh you guys are the sweetest" Joey smiled._

 _"Eww guys! Get a room please" Ross groaned._

 _"Aww they are so in love" Rachel gushed._

[Back to the present day...]

"Your mother was so big while pregnant with you, Sophie and Luke" Chandler stated taking his wedding band on and off.

"I figured" Clara twirled her long platinum blonde hair with her fingers.

Chandler then continued "But on the other hand, people thought me and your mother didn't conceive Daniel and Karen correctly because she wasn't showing for a long time"

"I didn't need to know that" She said.

"I remember there was a time when me and your mother were trying to concieve you. And we were all at a restaurant, I had one knee up on the sink of the restroom. And your mother...she she. That's how I got my bad leg" Chandler tried saying.

Clara then interjected "Daddy! I don't need to know the spefic places you and Mom had sex"

"Sorry Sweetie" he pat her shoulder.

"Clara then asked "How did you find out Mom was pregnant with me"

"It was Christmas 1995. And your mom threw a party while your sliblings were with her parents, it got overheated and she passed out. Then in the bedroom she told me" Chandler explained.

 _ **Christmas 1995**_

 _"Mon, the guests are turning into beef jerky" Joey said._

 _Monica was serving flavored ice cubes, then fainted in Chandlers arms._

 _"Monica!" Chandler screamed catching his pregnant wife._

 _In the bedroom, Chandler said_ "I don't even know what brought that on; you've never passed out in that kind of heat before.

 _"I guess my baby didn't like being in that much heat for so long" Monica replied._

 _"Are you-?" Chandler asked in shock._

 _Yes, Chandler, I'm pregnant again." She answered._

 _How long have you been carrying? he question._

 _"For two and a half months, since Halloween." Monica said._

 _"This is so great! We're gonna have a fifth child! When everyone gets back to the apartment, we've gotta tell 'em the good news" Chandler kissed her hand_.

Back to the present day...

That evening, Mondler are cuddling.

"I love you Monica. So so much" Chandlet kissed his wifes hand.

"I love you so much too" Monica cries in tears of joy.

Cbandler smiles happily then started to make love to her.

Authors Note: On the bus right now. Bye!


	7. Wonderful World

Authors Note: More remicsing of Clara.

The next evening after dinner, Clara said "Daddy tell me more"

And looked at him with her blue eyes- Monica's blue eyes.

"Alright pumkin" Chandler said.

"I will start by telling you, your mother and I's conversation on the night it was Aunt Rachel's birthday right before you were born."

 ** _May 1996_**

 _"Hey, Mon, are you alright? Is there something wrong with Baby Girl Bing?" Chandler bent down and kissed the large baby bump then his wife's lips very softly._

 _"Baby Girl's fine; I'm just upset, is all." Monica sighed._

 _"What are you upset about?"_

 _"I just found out that my own brother's been sneaking some of our guests over to Joey and Phoebe's party. He told me that he was doing it because they work really hard all weak and they deserve to have a little fun, then I tried to explain to him that our party's fun too and got hit in the back of the head with a volleyball."_

 _"Aw, Mon."_

 _"Is it true, Chandler? Am I really that bad of a hostess that the people I care about the most have to go behind my back to save people from my parties?"_

 _"No, no, Mon, you're not that bad of a hostess; you're not a bad hostess at all. Some people just don't understand or share your ideas of fun, that's all." "Really?"_

 _"Yes, really. Look, Mon, I think you're a terrific hostess and honestly, I'm really enjoying your party a lot. Unlike some of those other people, I actually did write down my most embarrassing memory. And I even left my ten verbs on the table so you can finish your poem."_

 _"Oh, Chandler, that's so sweet. You didn't really have to do that, y'know."_

 _"But I wanted to, that's why I did it."_

 _"I don't know what I did to deserve someone as great as you, but I'm really glad I did. I love you, Chandler." She used the wall to help get up._

 _"I love you too, Mon._ " He helped her get up then rubbed her large belly.

[Back to the present day...]

"What did everyone say when they found out I was a girl?" Clara asked.

Chandler then regalled those memories.

 **March 1996**

 _Sophie and Karen: "Yes! We're gonna have another sister! In your face, Daniel!"_

 _Daniel: "Oh, it's not fair! I wanted another brother!"_

 _Chandler: "Oh, Mon, this is so great! We could have another mini-you."_

 _Monica: "I know! Isn't it wonderful?",_

 _Ross: "Yeah, let's just hope she doesn't become really fat like you did."_

 _Monica gave him the Geller "Screw you!" gesture._

 _Rachel: "Well, I, for one, hope she ends up looking more like me; after Karen wound up getting most of Mon's looks, I think I'm entitled to having my own mini-me."_

 _Monica: "And you'll get one... as soon as you start making babies with my brother.",_

 _Phoebe: "Dream on, Rach; if anything, these two owe me like three Phoebe's.",_

 _Joey: "Hey, whatever, guys, I'm just glad that they're having another daughter."_

 _Jack and Judy (both): "Can you believe it? Another granddaughter."_

 _Nora: "Heh, looks like she'll be taking after me after all, Charles."_

 _Charles: "Don't hold your breath, Nora; after all she's our son's daughter, not yours_."

 **May 1997- Clara's first birthday and Ross and Rachel's one year, marriage anniversary.**

 _Joey: "Eighteen, huh?" for her hot friends( - of course he has no idea that he'll be hooking up with Karen in the distant future as he's doing this :P)_

 _Phoebe: (smacked him upside the head) and "Don't mind my boyfriend, Clara; he's just being silly like he always does",_

 _Jack: "I can't believe Clara's already one"_

 _Judy to Monica: "I remember your first birthday. Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you; he pulled on his testicles so hard that we had to take him to the emergency room."_

 _Ross: "There's something you didn't know about your uncle."_

 _[Scene: The Bing's Apartment. Monica is filming her parents ]_  
 _Judy: Hello Clara. Happy eighteenth birthday._

 _Jack: Right now that seems so far away, seventeen years._

 _Judy: Yes, you'll be all grown up by then. We'll be... Well your grandfather and I might not be here._

 _Jack: That's true! This message could becoming to you from beyond the grave, Clara!_

 _Judy: After all, my parents died very young._

 _Jack: And my cholesterol's off the charts!_

 _Judy: Remember, Clara, heart disease kills women too_!

 _Monica: Okay, cut! That was great._

 _Charles: "Happy 18th Birthday, Clara. I know what you're thinking, but trust me: underneath this glamour and this fabulous dress is all man. I'll gladly show it you if you'd like."_

 _Chandler: "No, no, it's okay, Dad; you don't have to show anything to prove anything."_

 _Nora: "That's right, Clara, I know what you're thinking: the resemblance is uncanny. And, if you play your cards right, you may just find yourself writing one of these." (and she holds up her latest erotic novel.)_

 _Monica: Chandler, um, don't forget to get a shot of Clara's cake. It's in a box in the fridge._

 _Chandler: Sure._

 _Monica: Oh, you're gonna love this cake. I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Corino's._

 _Rachel: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid._

 _Monica: Well, anyway, they make these great novelty cakes, in all different shapes, and if you give them a photo, they'll copy it in icing!_

 _Rachel: Oh, did you do a picture of Clara?_

 _Monica: Yes! On a cake shaped like a bunny._

 _Chandler: Uh, Mon? Does this bakery by any chance also bake erotic cakes? Say for bachelorette parties_

 _Monica could say "Oh, my God! They put my baby's face on a woman's chest!"_

 _Judy could tell Jack "I know what you're thinking; it IS just like me after we had Ross."_

 _to which Ross will respond "I'm this close to tugging on my testicles again."_

 _Joey could say "Now, it's a party!"_

 _Phoebe could say "Ooh, really planning out her future, aren't we?"_

 _Charles could say "They're definitely nicer than Nora's, I'll give 'em that much."_

 _To which Nora will retort "Oh, please mine are way more beautiful than those; not to mention the real thing.",_

 _Rachel could say "Uh... is it okay that I still think it looks delicious?"_

 _Ross could say "Well, maybe if we can swap this out for a bunny cake, it could save time if we cut the baby's face off the boobs so we can put it on the bunny. That is a weird sentence."_

 _Monica: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Rachel trying to take a piece and yells at her) Rachel, don't touch it!_

 _Rachel: I'm so confused!_

 _Monica: (speaking to the person on the phone again) Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts!_

 _Joey: To be fair this one does have nuts_.

 **Earlier that day...**

 _OPENING CREDITS_  
 _[Scene: The Bings apartment]_  
 _Monica: You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all._

 _Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!_

 _Ross: (he enters) Hey guys!_

 _Monica and Phoebe: Hi!_

 _Ross: Hey, I brought the camera for Clara's video._

 _Monica: Oh, good, good! Me and Chandler had this idea to make a birthday video for Clara and we'll give it to her when she is 18._

 _Phoebe: Oh, COOL! Wow, it's like a time capsule!_

 _Ross: Yeah!_

 _Phoebe: Oh, just think... she's gonna be watching that video on a TV that hasn't even been invented yet! With friends who right now are just like babies! And they'll be living in a floating city that the humans built to escape the ant people!_

 _Ross: That's the hope! So, is Clara awake yet?_

 _Monica: Oh no, it's still nap time. But she'll be up soon._

 _Ross: Ah, and where is Chandler?_

 _Monica: I said it's still nap time._

 _(Chandler comes out from his and Monica's room, yawning. But he is fully dressed now in regular clothes)_

 _Monica: (taping Chandler with the cam) Hey, there is Daddy!_

 _Chandler: Hey!_

 _(He wraps his arms around Monica kissing her)_

 _Ross: Eww guys! Big brother in here._

 _Rachel: Aww they are so in love!_

 _Chandler: I can kiss Monica all the time, I love her so much._

 _(He kisses her more passionately)_

 _Joey: Oh, I don't need to see that!_

 _Sophie, Daniel, Karen, Luke: Eww Mommy and Daddy!_

 _Chandler: This is love, I'm showing your mom how much I love her._

 _Ross: Me and Rachel don't need to spend our first anniversary as a married couple, watching you two make out._

 _Monica: Why'd you guys have to get married on the day I gave birth to Clara?_

 _Phoebe: Oh, Mon you and Chandler continue what you two were doing. Lovebirds._

 _Ross and Joey: Pheebs, don't encourage them please!_

 _[Back to the present day...]_

That evening Mondler were cuddling...

"You make me the luckiest man on earth. I felt like these 20 years have been a dream" Chandler kissed his wifes hand where the sapphire wedding ring is.

"I'm so in love with you" Monica responded.

Chandler smiled warmly then proceeded to make love to her.

 **TBC...**

Authors Note: Guys leave a good review please. Well good night for right now.


	8. Honey

Authors Note: And...I'm back! Just to clear things up, let's say that Mondler and the rest of the gang look like what they did in S9(As of right now, 'TOW The Peditrician') and Mondler's youngest daughter Clara looks like the Olsen twins. Clara has a crush on a boy named Oliver while Luke is dating a girl named Mila. And Luke's real name is Lucas Francis. Enjoy!

 ** _SEPTEMBER_ 2009**

 _The next afternoon._

LUKE: Did you and Mom have an easy time, concieving me?

CHANDLER: Well, yes and no.

LUKE: What, what happened?

CHANDLER: Your mom had two misscarriages before you were born. I mean well, your older three siblings came pretty quick without concieval. And she had one more miscariage when Clara was three.

[NOVEMBER 1993. MONDLER's BEDROOM IN APARTMENT TWENTY]

 _CHANDLER: Mon, wake up. You're bleeding._

 _MONICA: I ca- lose this one._

 _CHANDLER: Stay right here, I'm gonna get Joey to watch our three little ones._

 _-BANGING ON JOEY'S DOOR._

 _JOEY: What's up Dude, it's 3am._

 _CHANDLER: Mon's bleeding. So-so much blood. Can you watch the kids._

 _JOEY: Take her to the hospital. I'll watch 'em._

 _CHANDLER: Thanks Joe.(Hugs him then carries Monica out)_

 _[SCENE: AT THE HOSPITAL]_

 _DR: I'm sorry to say this, but you lost the baby._

 _MONICA[Sobbing]: Nooo!_

 _(Cries in Chandler's chest)_

 _[Flashback to July 1994. Before Rachel came back]_

 _CHANDLER:(Knocking on the bathroom door) Honey, you OK? (Opens the door)_

 _MONICA: Shit!_

 _CHANDLER: What's wrong?_

 _MONICA: I was taking a test, but you made me drop it in the toliet._

 _CHANDLER: Why, Cara Mia. Why are you taking a test?_

 _MONICA: I don't feel right, and I haven't had my period since march. This is what I felt like right before I found out I was pregnant with Sophie- and I feel like I'm getting bigger too._

 _CHANDLER: Do you have anymore tests?_

 _MONICA: That was my only one._

 _CHANDLER: Then I will get you somemore._

 _MONICA: Love you._

 _Chandler(Smiles): Love you too._

 _-15 minutes later-_

 _MONICA: There all positive._

 _CHANDLER: Oh, love. I'm so happy; we are going to have a fourth baby!_

 _MONICA: I know!_

 _(Kisses both her hands, and smiles happily)_

 _CHANDLER: I love you, our kids, and Baby Bing. So much._

 _MONICA: I love you so much too._

 _[MID 1990. MONDLER HAD JUST ENTERED A RESTRUANT WITI H THEIR LITTLE DARLING: BABY SOPHIE. THEY FOUND OUT A FEW WEEKS BEFORE THAT THEY WERE HAVING THE TWINS DANIEL AND KAREN. CAROL ISN'T THEIR BECAUSE IT ISN'T HER DAY OFF SINCE SHE HAS TO RETAKE A REAGENTS ASSESMENT._ _]_

 _ROSS: So what did you want to tell us?_

 _MONICA: We are having twins!_

 _RACHEL: Oh, that's great.[Unbuttons a few buttons on Monica's jacket where her growing baby bump can be seen] Hi, little Baby Bings._

 _PHOEBE: Have you felt them kick yet?_

 _MONICA: No not yet, but I can feel movement every once and a while._

 _(Monica then thought back to the day when she felt Sophie move around, for the first time. A smile of delight grows on her face.)_

 _(It's early 1989. Monica and Chandler are taking a walk in the park when a woman with a stroller walks by.)_  
 _Monica: Aww! I can't wait until we have ours._  
 _(Chandler kissed her cheek.)_  
 _Chandler: Just a few more months, Mon._  
 _(He looked at the kids on the swing set and smiled.)_  
 _Chandler: I can't wait until we get to push our child on those swings. My little circus peanut is going to love them so much._  
 _Monica: I know._  
 _(They kept walking hand in hand all the way through the park, until Monica suddenly stopped.)_  
 _Monica: Chandler! I felt something!_  
 _Chandler: Like a kick?_  
 _Monica: No, but movement for sure._  
 _Chandler: Oh, that's amazing, Mon!_  
 _(He rubbed her baby bump and wrapped his arm around her, even happier than before.)_

 _-That night at dinner-_  
 _(Monica is telling her parents about the movement she felt that afternoon. Ross is getting ready to ask her about the baby shower.)_  
 _Monica: Oh, it felt so amazing! It was like I knew for the first time that the baby was really there. I've never felt anything so cool._  
 _Chandler: She was really excited, and so am I. That means that our little circus peanut is growing. My own baby. Wow!_  
 _Monica: Well, our baby._  
 _(They laughed.)_  
 _Ross: So Monica, have you thought about the baby shower yet?_  
 _Monica: Oh, yes! I have a whole list of people to invite and an entire book of ideas. It's like one of the most important things ever! After Prom and my Wedding day, of course. But not above the day this little baby is born._  
 _(She rubbed her tummy happily.)_  
 _Ross: So where do you keep this stuff? Is it still in your room? You know, next to your wedding book._  
 _(Monica nodded.)_  
 _Monica: I don't want to move it until I absolutely have to. Right now everything in there is alphabetically organized, as well as by color. I think that it is the most convenient way to shift through everything that I need to plan._  
 _Chandler: Repeat that in English please?_  
 _Monica: Everything is easy to find._  
 _Chandler: Oh! So it's Chan-Chan Style?_  
 _(Monica giggled and kissed him.)_  
 _Monica: Yes. I make things simple for my baby's daddy. Don't want you getting confused and planning your Sweet Sixteen!_  
 _(They all laughed and then Mr. Geller went to get dessert. He told Chandler to come with him.)_  
 _Chandler: Why do you need my help, sir? Is it flambé or something?_  
 _(Mr. Geller laughed.)_  
 _Mr. Geller: No, son. I need to tell you a few things about being an expecting father._  
 _(Chandler raised an eyebrow.)_  
 _Chandler: Like what?_  
 _Mr. Geller: Soon, Monica is going to be getting some very weird cravings. You have to give her everything she asks for, or you will be walking on dangerous grounds. Especially once her mood swings start. Then you'll need to watch out even more._  
 _Chandler: Yeah, I've heard about those. Yikes!_  
 _Mr. Geller: Aside from that, you're going to need to make sure Rachel is around at all times._  
 _(Chandler cocked his head to the side, confused.)_  
 _Mr. Geller: When Monica gets big enough, she's going to want help standing up. Even from the toilet!_  
 _(Chandler gasped.)_  
 _Mr. Geller: You can avoid any problems with this by just having one of her girlfriends – like Rachel – around as often as you can._  
 _(Chandler nodded.)_  
 _Chandler: Sounds like tricky business._  
 _Mr. Geller: It is, but not as tricky as pleasing her._  
 _Chandler: Oh? I find that Monica is easy to please._  
 _Mr. Geller: Not once the mood swings get into high gear. If you get her a gift, even just one flower, she could get very mad at you for spending a lot of money, or be so happy she breaks down into tears._  
 _Chandler: So how do I know whether or not it's a good time to get her a gift?_  
 _Mr. Geller: That's the thing, son. You don't._

(Chandler laughed at Mr. Geller's silly serious face and helped him carry the ice cream into the dining room.)

[End of that flashback]

 _JOEY: Do you guys know the genders yet?_

 _CHANDLER: Well, we decided to eat out before we go to find out the genders.(Plays with his wedding band and wraps his arm around Monica: smiling happily then placed his hand gently on her belly.)_

 _ROSS: You and Mon better watch out, before you two become baby-making machines._

 _(Chandler stares at his brother in-law, giving him a 'shut up Dino Man' look.)_

 _[CUT to Monica, Rachel and Phoebe talking about Mondler's twins)_

 _RACHEL: What genders do you think the babies are?_

 _MONICA: Chandler thinks there is a girl and a boy, in there. While I think there is two girls._

 _PHOEBE: I know since I'm psyhic, that you two are having a girl and a boy._

[SCENE: AT THE DOCTORS OFFICE WHERE MONDLER ARE WAITING TO FIND OUT THE GENDERS OF THEIR TWINS]

 _DOCTOR GOLLY: Ready to find out your babies genders?_

 _MONICA: Oh, yes!_

 _(Doctor Golly rubs wand over her belly.)_

 _DOCTOR GOLLY: One's a boy and the other is a girl._

 _CHANDLER: Yay, I'm gonna have a son and another daugter!_

 _(Monica laughed at her husband's eunthusiasm and placed her hand over his.)_

[TWO MONTHS EARLIER WHEN THEY WERE TRYING TO EXLPLAIN TO SOPHIE, THAT SHE'S GOING TO BE A BIG SISTER SOON]

 _CHANDLER: Sophs, Mommy is going to have a baby._

 _SOPHIE: Baby?_

 _MONICA: Yes, Baby. You are going to be a big sister._

 _SOPHIE: Mommy have baby?_

 _CHANDLER: It's going to live in there like you did. (Placed a hand gently on Monica's still-flat belly.). Can you give the baby kisses?_

 _SOPHIE: Otay_!

(Chandler looked at Monica and kissed her, smiling happily)

 _SOPHIE: Mommy have baby, me be big sista. Big sista!_

 _CHANDLER: Our baby girl is so smart._

 _MONICA: I know!(Then she felt something)_

 _CHANDLER: Cara Mia, what's wrong?_

 _MONICA: I think I felt it move._

 _CHANDLER: That's so amazing, Love!_

 _MONICA: I love you, Mon Cherie.(Rests her head on his chest, playing with her engagement and wedding rings)_

 _CHANDLER: I love you too, Cara Mia.(Notices Sophie is asleep) Our little girl is asleep, that means we can do it. Right?_

 _MONICA: Absolutley!_

 _(They tuck Sophie in her crib, then he carefully carries her into their bedroom)_

[Back to the present day]

CHANDLER: I remember the day, me and your mother got married. It was the day Sophie was born.

LUKE: Woah!

CHANDLER: DR. said your Mother was in labor all night & morning, which is why she got sent straight into delivery.

* * *

 _[AUGUST 1989. The day of MONDLER's WEDDING AND THE BIRTH OF SOPHIE]_  
 _The moment we waited for has finally arrived. It's time for Monica and Chandler's wedding. We've got violins playing "Every Breath You Take", we've got guests seated, and we've got Chandler walking down the aisle with his parents on either arm._  
 _"Our little boy is getting married, and he's going to be a father" Charles stated happily._  
 _"Oh look at you! So handsome!" Nora complimented her son._  
 _"You look beautiful, Mom," Chandler complimented back. Charles then cleared his throat, causing Chandler to reluctantly add "You look beautiful too, Dad." Then, with complete sincerity, he added, "I love you both." he kissed Charles on the cheek. "I'm so glad you're here." he kissed Nora on the cheek._  
 _The husband-to-be then walked up onto the altar and took notice of the priest._  
 _"Are you Chandler?" Father Kalebasous asked._  
 _"Are you Joey?" Chandler asked back._  
 _Now Ross is walking down the aisle Phoebe and Rachel on his arms._  
 _"Huh. This is nice," Ross suddenly said._  
 _"What?" Phoebe questioned._  
 _"I've never walked down the aisle knowing it can foreshadow breakups" the "polentologist" explained._  
 _Carol who was right behind the trio, slapped Ross in the back of the head._  
 _"Oww! Girls are mean, I hope that Baby Bing is a boy. I want to have a nephew" Ross complained._

 _"We all know it's a girl." Rachel answered as if Ross was slow in the head._  
 _"Aww!" Ross groaned though he is happy to have a niece soon._  
 _Finally, as the violins began to play "Groovy Kind of Love", Monica; the beautiful nine months pregnant bride, is now walking down the aisle with her parents on her arms._  
 _"Oh I wish you're grandmother flyed to New York to see this," Judy stated._  
 _"She's right there," Monica pointed out._  
 _"Not that old crow; my mother," Mrs. Geller clarified. She then sincerely said, "Congratulations, darling."_  
 _"I love you, sweetheart and our unborn granddaughter," Mr. Geller added with equal sincerity as he kissed his daughter on the cheek and sat down with his wife._  
 _Chandler stepped off the altar to greet his wife-to-be._  
 _"Wow! You look amazing," Chandler complimented. He then looked at her dress that perfectly showed her large baby bump, where their baby girl was growing inside of her mother and rubbed it asking, "Is this new?"_  
 _"Not now," Monica replied, trying to ignore the intense pain in her back and the baby kicking like crazy._  
 _"Okay." Chandler agreed, noticing that his fiancee and love of his life was in pain._  
 _They both stepped up onto the altar and she took notice of the Priest._  
 _"Who's this?" Monica asked her husband-to-be._  
 _"I am Father Kalebasous," the priest answered._  
 _"He's Greek Orthodox," Chandler whispered into his wife-to-be's ear._  
 _Rachel leaned in and added, "As are you…"_  
 _"Let us begin," Father Kalebasous started. "Dearly beloved…"_  
 _"That's my line!" Joey, the official minister of the wedding, interrupted while still in costume from his WWI movie. He walked up the aisle and said to the Priest, "I can take it from here, thanks." he then turned to everyone else and said, "Dearly beloved, I'm sorry I'm a little late. You may be confused by this now, but you won't be Woman's Equality Day weekend 1989. We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. I've known Monica and Chandler for a short time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as I've left my notes in my dressing room, we shall proceed to the vows. Monica?"_  
 _Monica got her vows form Rachel and proceeded to read them._  
 _"Chandler, for so long I…I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then months ago, at Thanksgiving I turned to my brother's best friend & college roomate for comfort, and instead, I found everything that I'd ever been looking for my whole life. And now…here we are…with our future before u- uhh!"_  
 _"Mon?" Phoebe asked with concern._  
 _"God!" Monica exclaimed as a pile of water formed below her legs._  
 _"What? What is it?" Chandler asked his wife-to-be._  
 _"My water just broke," Monica replied._  
 _"What?!" the husband-to-be exclaimed._  
 _"Yes, our baby's coming right now!_  
 _"What do we do?"_  
 _"We gotta get her to the hospital!" Ross suggested._  
 _With that, the group and the parents of the guests of honor all rushed the bride and groom out of the wedding hall._  
 _At the hospital, Monica is on gurney being rushed down the halls by three medical personnel with her parents and Chandler by her side while the rest of the group trails behind._  
 _"Coming through! We need a fetal monitor!" one of the physicians ordered._  
 _"She's crowning. Contractions are coming on strong. We don't have time to get her into a room. Let's get her straight into delivery," another physician said._  
 _"Stop! Stop!" Monica yelled. "I can't... I WON'T have this baby until I'm a married woman!"_  
 _"Mon, are you sure you want to be doing this now?" Chandler asked._  
 _"I'm positive of it, Chandler; our first born child is NOT going to be a bastard!"_  
 _"Okay, okay, minister, we need you over here now!" Chandler called out to Joey._  
 _"All right, all right, but I'm not taking any chances we're doing the short version," Joey complied. "Chandler Bing, do take Monic-"_  
 _"Faster, faster! She can't wait any longer!" Monica interrupted._  
 _"All right, then, the SHORT short version," Joey decided. He turned to Chandler and asked, "Do you?"_  
 _"Yes," Chandler immediately answered._  
 _Joey then turned to Monica and asked "Do you?"_  
 _"Yes!" Monica immediately answered._  
 _"Good, you're married! Kiss her!" Joey declared._  
 _"Joey, the rings!" Rachel reminded._  
 _"Aw crap! Okay—uh…uh let's-let's do the rings."_  
 _Chandler took his ring from Ross and placed it on Monica's left ring finger while saying, "Let this ring be a sign of my fidelity and love."_  
 _Monica smiled happily and lovingly at her new husband, then took her ring from Rachel and placed it on Chandler's left ring finger while saying, "My heart for your heart forever."_  
 _"We good? Yeah? Good? Once again, I pronounce you husband and wife." Joey declared. "Now you can kiss her."_  
 _The newlywed couple finally kissed and everyone applauded._  
 _"I love you, Monica."_  
 _"I love you too, Chandler."_  
 _Unfortunately, the happy moment was short-lived as the contractions started up again, forcing Chandler and the medical personnel to rush Monica straight into delivery, leaving everyone else to stand and wait and hope for the best._  
 _As they were rushing Monica into delivery, she said "I'm sorry our wedding day had to be like this"_  
 _Chandler kissed her replying "Oh Mon, don't apolgize. You are having our daughter. There's no reason to be sorry"_  
 _"I love you, Mon Cherie"_  
 _"I love you too, Cara Mia"_  
 _"Aww!" the gang, Carol, the Bings and the Gellers all gushed._  
 _In the midst of all this, the doctor came._  
 _"Oh god, oh oww!" Monica screamed._  
 _"We don't have anytime, this baby's going to have to be born right here. Right now" The doctor declared._  
 _"I can't have her right now" Monica cried._  
 _"Sorry, we can't tell her to wait" the doctor pointed out._  
 _"Honey, you can do it" Chandler reassured her and kissed her hand._  
 _The medical personal rushed Monica into delivery._  
 _A few minutes later, the doctor ordered "Push. Push. Come on push for five seconds. 5…4…"_  
 _"3-2-1 oh!" Monica cried flopping on the gurney._  
 _"Okay, the next contraction should be in about twenty seconds." the doctor stated._  
 _"I can't. I can't push anymore, I can't." Monica cried._  
 _"Sweetie you're doing great." Chandler kissed her._  
 _"Oh God. Twenty seconds my ass!" Monica shouted._  
 _"Here we go! Okay, keep pushing! Wait! I see something." The doctor said._  
 _"What? You do? You do? (Looks) Oh my God!" Chandler exclaimed._  
 _"Don't say, "Oh my God!" Oh my God what?" Monica asked._  
 _"What is that?" Chandler questioned._  
 _"It's the baby's buttock, she's breech." the doctor explained._  
 _"Oh thank God, I thought she had two heads." Chandler replied in relief, knowing that their daughter is alright._  
 _"Oh God. Is she gonna be okay?" Monica asked with concern._  
 _"She's gonna be fine. Okay, she's in a more difficult position so you're gonna have to push even harder now. Go! Push!" The doctor demanded._  
 _"Go!" Chandler rubbed his new wife's back._  
 _"Monica you're gonna have to push even harder, nothing's happening!" the doctor said._  
 _"I'm sorry, I can't!" Monica cried._  
 _"Yes you can!" Chandler assured her as the love of his life, his Cara Mia and mother of their daughter's face srunched up in pain._  
 _"I can't!" Monica insisted and continues crying._  
 _"Hey! Hey! Honey, come on! You can! I know you can do this! Let's go!" Chandler told her._  
 _"I can't. Please, you do it for me." Monica replied._  
 _No! Come on let's—One more time! One final push! Ready? 1…2…3! Chandler counted. (Monica pushes so hard her head snaps up head-butting Chandler and knocking him down.)_  
 _"Good!" the doctor said._  
 _"Keep pushing!" Chandler ordered from the floor._  
 _Are you okay?" Monica asked her new husband._  
 _"You have no idea how much this hurts." Chandler groaned.(All of the women in the room turn and glare at him.) Keep going! Keep going!_  
 _"Here we go!" the doctor said._  
 _"Oh! Oh! She's upside down but she's coming! She's coming!" Chandler exclaimed._  
 _"Oh God!" Monica screamed as her & Chandler's daughter came out of her._  
 _"Oh! Oh my God oh! Oh my God she's here." Chandler started jumping up and down._  
 _(Their baby girl cries.)_  
 _"Oh she's…she's perfect." Chandler smiled as he looked at his baby girl, who has a full head of black hair, piercing blue eyes, and porcelain skin; with tiny freckles on her nose. She looks just like her Mommy._  
 _Oh, she's so tiny. Where'd she go?" Monica asked starting to cry._  
 _"Oh it's okay. They're just-they're just wrapping her up." Chandler kissed her neck._  
 _"Okay. Well be careful with her, she's really tiny." Monica replied._  
 _"Here she is!" the doctor placed Baby Girl Bing into Monica's waiting arms, who protectively held the pink bundle close to her._  
 _"Oh hey you, Baby Girl. Thanks for living in me for nine months, then coming out of me. (The baby cries.) I know! Oh. Yeah. Oh, she's looking at me. Hi! I know you." Monica grinned, mesmerized by the beauty that is their baby girl._  
 _"Do we have a name yet?" the doctor asked._  
 _"Yes, Sophie Rachel Bing" Monica said as the baby looked up with her beautiful blue eyes; her blue eyes._  
 _(Chandler and Monica look into each other's eyes and kiss as their baby girl continues to cry.)_  
 _"Hello baby girl." Chandler greeted their baby girl, grining._  
 _A few minutes later, Chandler went into the waiting room annoucing "She's here, Mon just had the baby! Ten pound baby girl. I-I. can't believe it; I'm a dad now- wow!"_  
 _"Oh, wow!" everybody got up._  
 _In the recovery room, everyone entered._  
 _"What's her name?" Phoebe asked._  
 _"Meet Sophie Rachel Bing" Chandler grinned, introdoucing his and Monica's newly born baby girl._  
 _Rachel exclaimed "Oh my god. She's amazing! Oh oh, I'm so happy you and Chandler had sex the night his toe got cut off!"_  
 _"I know!" Monica smiled._

 _"Eww, Rachel. Stop it!" Ross groaned, since he has an image of Chandler and Monica in his head already. And doesn't want anymore images of them in his head._  
 _Everybody laughed._  
 _"Ross, she looks just like you" Joey said._  
 _"Always, what the baby's father wants to hear." Chandler deadpanned in annoyance._  
 _Rachel held the baby saying "She looks so real!" (everyone else looks at her) "Y'know what I mean! She's this whole tiny little person. She already has eyelashes and knees and… uh-oh."_  
 _"What?" Monica asked._  
 _"Oh no-no, no for I second there I counted six fingers, but one was from the other hand so we're good." Rachel explained._  
 _"Oh, god, I can't believe our son actually has one of these." Nora said._  
 _"I know, my ex-wife still is one of these." Charles states, recieving a slap in the shoulder from Nora. "Oww!'_  
 _"Rachel, may I?" Judy asked (Rachel hands her the baby) "Hi, Sophie. Hi. I'm your Grandma Judy. Yes I am. I'm your Grandma Judy. I...I will always have gum" as the baby continues to cry._  
 _"I'm so proud of you, HarMonica" Jack beamed._  
 _"I know that, Daddy." Monica smiled._  
 _"She's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen before! She looks just like you Monica" Phoebe said taking a glimpse of Sophie._  
 _"I know!" Monica grinned._  
 _"Look at her, our first grandchild." Jack said and mouths "Wow!" to Judy.'_  
 _"She's so beautfiul" Carol said looking at Baby Sophie._  
 _In the nursery window, Mr. Bing was taking a glimpse of his very first grandbaby when Chandler walked by._  
 _" Dad seriously! Y'know you really should see someone about that!" Chandler exclaimed._  
 _"Noted" Charles answered._  
 _"I wanna go get Monica some food, are you gonna be okay alone for a bit?" Chandler asked._  
 _" Are you kidding me, I could stay and look at her forever." Charles told him._  
 _"Actually umm" Chandler moved his father's head to where Sophie was._

 _[VALENTINES DAY 1989. MONDLER WERE AT A RESTRAUNT]_

 _(Monica and Chandler are having dinner, and Chandler is getting ready to reveal his surprise. However, he doesn't yet feel that the perfect moment has come yet.)_  
 _Chandler: Your baby bump is sure getting bigger._  
 _Monica: I know! Isn't it exciting?_  
 _Chandler: Of course. Soon we'll have fat Monica back!_  
 _(Monica air-slapped him.)_  
 _Monica: Oi! Watch your tongue._  
 _Chandler: Sorry, Mon. I really am so excited to see our baby._  
 _Monica: It's going to be the best day ever when our baby is born._

 _(Chandler smiled, hoping that this evening will compare in Monica's mind.)_

 _(TIME LAPSE)_

 _(Monica and Chandler have ordered dessert, and they are eating it happily. Since they are an expecting couple and it is Valentine's Day, the heart-shaped cake was on the house.)_  
 _Chandler: This cake is so good._  
 _Monica: I know! I hope I can serve cake this good when I have my own restaurant._  
 _Chandler: Maybe we can train our little baby to be a pastry chef and they can make it for us._  
 _(Monica laughed.)_  
 _Monica: That sounds perfect._  
 _Chandler: This is perfect. Everything is perfect. Only one thing could make it better._

 _(Chandler got down on one knee, and Monica gasped.)_

 _(Monica is shocked by Chandler, and super excited. She gasped, clapping both hands over her mouth, while Chandler just smiled.)_  
 _Chandler: Monica, I know that our relationship hasn't always been perfect. I mean, I called you fat, then you cut off my toe, and it's just sort of been a mess. But Monica, I love you more than life itself. You are the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with—well, you and our baby. I promise I will love you and our little circus peanut with all of me until the day I die. So Monica. . ._  
 _(Chandler paused to recollect himself. He was tearing up, and Monica was already crying. He pulled a pink case out of his jacket pocket, then opened it to reveal a pretty, very shiny diamond ring.)_  
 _Chandler: Monica Geller, will you marry me?_  
 _(Monica sniffed.)_  
 _Monica: Yes!_

 _(She gave him a kiss and then wrapped her arms around him, more happy than she had ever been in her whole life.)_

 _-Two days after the proposal-_

 _(Monica is practically bursting with happiness, and Chandler can't wait to tell everyone. Tonight was the first time they could get everyone together after Valentine's Day, so they were now all having lunch at Subway.)_  
 _Chandler: So did you guys do anything fun for Valentine's Day?_  
 _Mr. Geller: Oh yes. We had a wonderful time, right Judy?_  
 _Mrs. Geller: Oh, Jack. It was amazing._  
 _(Ross and Rachel both gagged. They knew what had happened that night.)_  
 _Monica: Okay, um, so what about you guys? Did you just have like in-nights?_  
 _(Ross nodded, and Rachel was still.)_  
 _Ross: Carol was out of town, so me and Rachel decided to… see a movie._  
 _Rachel: Yeah. And don't even ask, because it was a really good movie._  
 _Ross: Mm hm. Good good good. Very good movie._  
 _Rachel: Good._  
 _Chandler: You guys are being weird._  
 _Monica: Who cares? I have something to show you guys!_  
 _(Monica held out her hand, which had the pretty ring on her finger. Everyone gasped when they saw it, except Chandler, of course.)_  
 _Monica: I'm engaged!_  
 _Ross: Wow! That's fantastic!_  
 _(Rachel just squealed.)_  
 _Mr. Geller: Oh, that's so great! My little Harmonica is getting married!_  
 _Rachel: How did he do it?_  
 _Monica: Oh, it was so nice! Tell them, sweetie._  
 _Chandler: I bought the ring a week ago, and I knew Valentine's Day would be the best time to pop the question. So once I felt the moment was right, I got down on one knee, made my speech and proposed._  
 _Monica: It was such a touching speech._  
 _(She kissed Chandler happily.)_  
 _Mrs. Geller: When is the wedding?_  
 _Chandler: We have not decided on a date yet. We want to get everything perfect, but the sooner the better, right Mon?_  
 _Monica: We just can't wait to be married._  
 _Chandler: Cue dance number._  
 _(They all laughed as Chandler started to do a little dance and sing a song.)_  
 _Chandler *Singing*: Oh, what a wonderful day this is! I'm getting married! Oh what a wonderful life this is! I'm getting married and becoming a father soon!_  
 _Ross: Oh, what a wonderful day! My sister is getting married!_  
 _Mr. Geller: Oh, what a wonderful day! My daughter is getting married and becoming a Mommy soon!_  
 _(Soon they all started singing along and having fun. It was a very good day.)_

 _The next day-_  
 _(Rachel and Monica were talking about the wedding and what kind of flowers and dress and food and stuff. They have similar taste, except Rachel's ideas are expensive!)_  
 _Monica: So I want like a V-neck dress, or maybe one that is strapless._  
 _Rachel: Yeah. Diamond encrusted, of course._  
 _Monica: Diamonds?!_  
 _Rachel: Duh. Diamonds are a girl's best friend._  
 _Monica: That's just silly stuff. Dogs are a man's best friend, but Chandler is afraid of them!_  
 _Rachel: Really?_  
 _Monica: I think so! He freaked when a dog tried to sniff him at the park the other day!_  
 _(Rachel laughed, then smiled.)_  
 _Rachel: What shoes are you going to wear?_  
 _Monica: Something white. Velvety looking, maybe._  
 _Rachel: With sapphires in the heel!_  
 _Monica: Now that's just crazy talk._  
 _Rachel: Only as crazy as emerald lined pantyhose._  
 _(Monica made a weird face.)_  
 _Monica: Sounds like it would be uncomfortable._  
 _Rachel: You're right. We'll go with the opal bra._  
 _Monica: No one needs that much support!_  
 _(Rachel sighed loudly, obviously being silly.)_  
 _Rachel: You just don't like any of my ideas, do you?_  
 _Monica: Well…_  
 _(She reached over and grabbed Rachel's notepad, then looked it over.)_  
 _Monica: Ruby jewelry sounds pretty. They might make some fake stuff that won't be so expensive. Or we can sacrifice the ice sculpture and use the money from that!_  
 _Rachel: Great idea!_  
 _(She wrote it down in their idea column. They were having a lot of fun, and they would for several hours to come.)_

 _-Meanwhile-_  
 _(Chandler and Ross were sitting at Pizza Hut eating lunch when Ross decided to ask about the wedding plans.)_  
 _Ross: So what kind of flowers are you getting?_  
 _Chandler: Don't know. Monica's picking._  
 _Ross: Oh, okay. Is there going to be an ice sculpture?_  
 _Chandler: Maybe._  
 _Ross: Do you know about any of the plans?_  
 _Chandler: I know I'm wearing a suit._  
 _Ross: Well of course. What kind?_  
 _Chandler: Whatever Monica picks out._  
 _(Ross laughed and went back to eating his pizza. Being a guy was much simpler when it came to making wedding plans.)_

 _-At the Geller house, same time-_  
 _(Jack and Judy Geller were sitting in the living room drinking coffee, as Mr. Geller remembered Valentine's Day.)_  
 _Mr. Geller: So… Judy… the other night… the foot thing was nice. Do you want to do it again?_  
 _(Mrs. Geller looked at him oddly.)_  
 _Mrs. Geller: What do you mean, Jack? I never touch your feet. Your feet are disgusting. I mean, would it kill you to wash them once in a while?_  
 _Mr. Geller: But… I remember… What…?_

 _(He stared out the window oddly, not knowing what touched his foot the other night. A dust bunny? A ghost? A ferret? It could have been anything. However, Mr. Geller personally liked to believe it to be a flying sandwich.)_

 _[BACK TO THE PRESENT DAY]_

CHANDLER: I love your mother so much, she's the love of my life.

LUKE: I'm surprised, how did you two stay together?

CHANDLER: Son, she was the right woman for me. I'm sure you'll find one too.(Pats Luke's back reassuringly)

LUKE: Thanks Dad.

CHANDLER: I also remember when we went to the ultrasound, for Sophie the first time. That was when I really knew I was going to be a father.

[JANUARY 1989]

 _(Mondler is eating dinner with Ross and Rachel)_  
 _Rachel: I still love your dress so much, Monica. I really wish it came as a non-maternity._  
 _(Monica looks down at the dress Rachel got as a gift for her two weeks ago and smiled.)_  
 _Monica: Maybe the designer has another line, one that you can wear. Or you could design your own!_  
 _(Rachel smiled at that idea. She seemed to be coming up with ideas already.)_  
 _Chandler: Or you could just get pregnant._  
 _(Rachel narrows her eyes, but laughs.)_  
 _Rachel: I don't even have a boyfriend!_  
 _Monica: There's always Chip Matthews._  
 _(Rachel gasps, but laughs even harder.)_  
 _Chandler: Who's Chip Matthews?_  
 _(The girls start laughing more.)_  
 _Chandler: What did I say?_  
 _(Monica stopped laughing and smiled)_  
 _Rachel: He's just a high school memory._  
 _Ross: Isn't he that jerk you went to prom with?_  
 _(Rachel sipped her water and nodded.)_  
 _Rachel: That's the one. Chip Matthews, riding around town on the Chipper, thinking he's the big guy, making out with two girls a night._  
 _Chandler: Really? Only two? He sounds like the kind of guy to have more._  
 _(They laughed.)_  
 _Rachel: I think I'm going to go with the idea of my own line. Thank you, Mon._  
 _(Monica smiled.)_  
 _Monica: No problem, Rach._  
 _Ross: Anyway, how is your pregnancy going, Monica? Do you feel like you're getting any of the cravings and stuff yet?_  
 _(Monica pulled the carrots out of her rice dish and put ketchup on top of them, then took a bit and washed it down with chocolate milk.)_  
 _Monica: Not really. I think that I might be getting the easy side of pregnancy._  
 _(They all laughed. Monica was confused at first but she soon joined in.)_  
 _Rachel: So have you thought about names yet?_  
 _(Monica nodded.)_  
 _Monica: I came up with a whole list of baby names when I was fourteen! All I had to do was look at the very best ones._  
 _Rachel: Ooh! Then what are you going to name her?_  
 _Chandler: Her? Who said that it's going to be a her?_  
 _(Monica rolled her eyes and nudged Chandler slightly.)_  
 _Monica: We don't care if it's a boy or a girl. All we care about is that it is happy and healthy. Now, about the names. . . we want to keep it secret until the baby is born. That way it will be a surprise for you guys!_  
 _Ross: Does that mean you're going to ask the doctor if it is a boy or a girl at your sonogram?_  
 _(Chandler shook his head.)_  
 _Chandler: That part is our surprise!_  
 _(They all smiled and continued eating.)_

 _-The next day-_  
 _(Mondler went to the first ultrasound the next day, excited to see the very first pictures of their child.)_  
 _Monica: Chandler?_  
 _Chandler: Yes, sweetie?_  
 _Monica: Are you worried about this?_  
 _Chandler: About what?_  
 _Monica: The ultrasound. What if everything isn't perfect? What if there's something wrong?_  
 _Chandler: Nothing will be wrong, Mon. All we need to think about is seeing our baby for the first time. Our perfect baby._  
 _(Monica smiled, then gave Chandler a kiss on the lips. She was very glad that she had him around. He always knew how to make her feel much better.)_  
 _(Soon the doctor called them back, and brought them into the room. Monica got ready and then lay down on the bed, ready for the ultrasound to begin.)_  
 _Dr. Golly: Are you guys ready?_  
 _(Chandler and Monica agreed, and she came into the room.)_  
 _Dr. Golly: Oh, you look like such a sweet couple. Are you excited to see your baby today?_  
 _(She began to slather gel all over her hands, then rub it on Monica's tummy. Monica giggled as she did so.)_  
 _Monica: It's cold!_  
 _Dr. Golly: That's what everyone says at first, but you'll get used to it. Are you guys ready to see your baby? I can pull it up on the screen now._  
 _Mondler: Oh, yes!_  
 _(Dr. Golly pulled up an image on the screen, then began to move the ultrasound around Monica's tummy. Chandler and Monica stared at the screen, and soon Dr. Golly turned to look at it as well. With the one had that was not on the device, she pointed up at the screen.)_  
 _Dr. Golly: That's your baby._  
 _(Though all Monica could see was a little peanut, she knew that was it and she smiled hugely.)_  
 _Monica: Aww! It's so cute!_  
 _Chandler: All I see is a circus peanut! I mean, our circus peanut. Our beautiful little circus peanut._  
 _(They watched as Dr. Golly moved the sonogram picture around some more, and smiled even more the longer they looked. Soon she was finished with the ultrasound.)_  
 _Dr. Golly: Let me print a picture of this for you. I'll be right back._  
 _Chandler: I'm so happy that we made this baby._  
 _(Monica nodded tearfully.)_  
 _Monica: Everything's just perfect._

 _-One hour later, at the Geller house-_  
 _(Monica and Chandler went to her parents' house to show them the sonogram. Mrs. Geller was quite pleased when she saw it, and Jack "ooh'ed" like it was a newborn puppy.)_  
 _Mrs. Geller: It's so cute! I remember when you were that tiny, Monica. Your father liked to call you his M &M._  
 _Mr. Geller: Because that's how big you were!_  
 _(Mrs. Geller smiled and shook her head.)_  
 _Mrs. Geller: I tried to tell him that you weren't that small, but he just kept calling you that anyway. He called you that all the way until you had an official name._  
 _(Monica smiled, laughing a little.)_  
 _Monica: Did he have a cute name for Ross too?_  
 _Mrs. Geller: Your father called Ross his 'little O'._  
 _(Chandler laughed.)_  
 _Chandler: That's funny. Maybe I should come up with something for our baby, so that we can tell them the story when they're having their own kids._  
 _(Monica nodded. It sounded fun to her.)_  
 _Monica: You already called our baby a 'circus peanut' while we were at the ultrasound. Why not stick with that?_  
 _Chandler: Really?_  
 _Monica: It's perfect._  
 _(Chandler smiled and kissed Monica on the forehead.)_  
 _Chandler: I think so too._  
 _(He looked down at Monica's belly and rubbed the growing baby bump, smiling happily.)_  
 _Chandler: My little circus peanut._

[BACK TO THE PRESENT DAY]

LUKE: Really, you and Mom would call Sophie 'a little circus peanut'.

CHANDLER: What? Me and your Mother would have cute nicknames for you & your other siblings. I tried to convice her to name you 'Billy-Bop' once but she wanted to name you Lucas.

LUKE: Oh, Dad.

CHANDLER: I remember when your Mother and I, were telling your grandparents & uncle that we were having Sophie. (Continues playing with his wedding band, that was given nearly 21 years ago)

 _[DECEMBER 1988]_

 _(Chandler and Monica are happy that they're going to be parents, and they are ready to tell everyone else that Monica is pregnant. They just had to decide on a date.)_  
 _Chandler: We could do it on New Year's. You know, like "3. . . 2. . . 1. . . Monica's pregnant!"_  
 _(Monica laughed)_  
 _Monica: How about Christmas dinner? That's really soon and everyone will be there._  
 _Chandler: That sounds perfect._  
 _(He kisses her on the head and smiles)_

 _-Christmas Day, 1988-_  
 _(Mondler is ready to tell Monica's family that they're having a baby. They wait until dinner is over, and then decide that it's time to pop the news.)_  
 _(Monica clinks her fork against her glass of water, holding it in the air.)_  
 _Monica: I have an announcement to make._  
 _(Everyone looks at her, stopping their conversation.)_  
 _Monica: I'm pregnant!_  
 _(Ross and Mr. Geller stared, but Mrs. Geller smiled.)_  
 _Mrs. Geller: Who is the father, Monica?_  
 _(Chandler raised his hand.)_  
 _Chandler: I am, Mrs. Geller._  
 _(Ross and Mr. Geller gasped.)_  
 _Ross: How could you do this Chandler? Just knock up my sister? I can't believe you! I thought we were best friends._  
 _Mr. Geller: And I welcome you into my home for this to happen? I cannot believe this, Chandler!_  
 _(Chandler held up a hand in silence, then wrapped an arm around Monica.)_  
 _Chandler: I didn't just "knock her up", Mr. Geller. We're in love._  
 _(Mrs. Geller "aww'ed", smiling at Mondler.)_  
 _Ross: In love?_  
 _Chandler: Yes. I love Monica so much._  
 _Monica: And I love him too._  
 _Mr. Geller: So you're going to hang around until the baby is born? Is that how this works?_  
 _Chandler: No, Mr. Geller. I'm going to stay with Monica for the rest of my life._  
 _(He pulls a small box out of his pocket and turns to Monica. He opens it, revealing a small, golden ring inside. Monica gasps.)_  
 _Chandler: This is a Promise ring, Monica. It means that someday, as soon as we're out of college, I will propose to you, and we will get married._  
 _(Everyone "aww's" and they smile. Monica's eyes fill with tears. She puts on the ring and hugs Chandler.)_  
 _Monica: I love you so much, Chandler._

 _-At the shopping mall-_  
 _(Monica and Rachel are shopping for maternity clothes, as her baby bump is starting to show. Rachel is overjoyed by the style, but Monica is concerned about the pricing.)_  
 _Rachel: OMG! I wish I was pregnant!_  
 _(She held up a pink dress with shiny gold flowers all over it.)_  
 _Rachel: These clothes are all so cute!_  
 _Monica: And so expensive! How am I going to afford all of this and still pay for the baby?_  
 _Rachel: Silly Monica._  
 _(She holds up her credit card.)_  
 _Rachel: I'll help you pay for whatever you want. Just as long as you get this dress!_  
 _Monica: Thank you, Rachel!_  
 _(Monica hugs Rachel, then takes the dress from her and goes to a changing room to try it on.)_

 _-At McDonald's-_  
 _(Chandler and Ross are eating lunch and talking.)_  
 _Chandler: So you're really all right with me and Monica?_  
 _Ross: Of course, Chandler. I'm not going to stop anyone from true love, especially not my best friend and my sister._  
 _Chandler: True love?_  
 _Ross: You guys are perfect for each other. You're like soulmates. I never thought about it before, but now that I've seen you two together, I can't imagine ever seeing a couple more perfect than you._  
 _(Chandler smiles.)_  
 _Chandler: Thanks, dude. I was a bit worried about how you would take it. You know, with me and Mon having a baby and all._  
 _Ross: I think you guys will be perfect parents, and I know that you won't ever leave Monica's side. I trust you, Chandler. You're my best friend._  
 _(Ross smiles, then gives Chandler a man-hug.)_  
 _Chandler: Dude! You got ketchup on my shirt!_  
 _Ross: What? No I didn't._  
 _Chandler: Wait, that's your shirt._  
 _(Chandler pointed to Ross's shirt, which had a large ketchup splatter in the middle of it.)_  
 _Ross: Aw man! That was my best dark salmon shirt!_  
 _Chandler: You mean pink._  
 _(Chandler smiled. Ross frowned.)_

 _-At the Shopping Mall-_  
 _(Rachel and Monica have just finished shopping. Monica got lots of cool maternity clothes, and Rachel is still wishing that they made it in regular sizes. They decided to get lunch in the cafeteria.)_  
 _Rachel: You are going to look so cute in all of these new clothes!_  
 _(Monica smiled.)_  
 _Monica: I just can't wait until the baby is born. I'm so happy. I've always wanted kids._  
 _Rachel: Me too. Just as soon as I have a man good enough to wrangle them in._  
 _(Monica laughed.)_  
 _Rachel: You've got Chandler, and he'll be able to do it all just fine. He's not really the discipline kind of person, but you can handle that. You're tough._  
 _Monica: Chandler will be a wonderful daddy. I know he will. He's the most perfect man I've ever met._  
 _Rachel: And to think he called you fat when you first met._  
 _(Monica sighed happily, a smile on her face, and rubbed her small bump.)_  
 _Monica: I know. Who would have thought that we could make it this far? All the way to having a child of our own._  
 _Rachel: Just as long as your child doesn't get Chandler's Flock of Seagulls hair it'll be perfect._  
 _(Monica laughed.)_  
 _Monica: That was the product of too much hair gel. Our baby will be way too smart to go overboard like that._  
 _Rachel: And way too cute! Ooh, I'm so excited for you!_  
 _Monica: Me too!_  
 _(They hugged, then went to the counter to order their lunch.)_  
 _Monica: I wonder what the sonograms will look like._  
 _Rachel: Well your first one should be sometime soon, shouldn't it?_  
 _(Monica nodded happily.)_  
 _Rachel: That must be so exciting, seeing your baby for the first time. I hear that your baby looks like a peanut the first time you see it._

 _(They laughed and paid for their food, then headed to a table to eat and chat. They were having a very good day, and nothing could break their spirits.)_

[BACK TO THE PRESENT DAY]  
LUKE: Wow!  
CHANDLER: I also remember when your brother and Uncle Joey got into a fight over pizza. Your Mother was nine months pregnant with you.  
 _[DECEMEBER 1994]_  
 _ROSS: Hey, pizza's here!_  
 _PIZZA BOY: That'll be 122.50, Sir._  
 _ROSS[Taking the pizza boxes]: Eh, this is my sister's apartment: she'll pay for it._  
 _DANIEL: Pizza! Pizza!_  
 _MONICA: I hope you're all drinking milk. I want to get rid of it. [Saw Sophie throwing food] Hey, don't do that!_  
 _CHANDLER: Honey, the pizza boy needs $122.50, plus tip._  
 _MONICA: For pizza?_  
 _CHANDLER: 10 pizzas times 12 bucks._  
 _RACHEL: Ross, you've got money! Come on..._  
 _ROSS: Traveler's checks._  
 _MONICA: Forget it, Ross. We have cash._  
 _CHANDLER: You probably got the checks that don't work in France._  
 _DANIEL: Did anyone order me a plain cheese?_  
 _JOEY: Oh, yeah, we did. But if you want any, somebody's gonna have to barf it up, because it's gone._  
 _JUDY: Sophie! Go easy on the Pepsi._  
 _JOEY: Dan! Dan, get a plate. (Joey chokes on the cheese; Daniel pushes him into the table and Joey barfs)_  
 _CHANDLER: Mon's delivery room papers! (Chandler spills Pepsi as Joey puts Daniel into a headlock.)_  
 _JACK: Watch it! (Jack's chair is pulled out and hits Karen; people start to clean up kitchen table quickly)_  
 _CHANDLER: No, no. Get these papers out of here. (Chandler throws away a bunch of napkins, along with Daniel's drawings; Judy picks Karen up)_  
 _JUDY: Are you okay, honey? Come here. Are you all right? (Monica grabs Daniel's hand)_  
 _MONICA: Look, look. Stop stop! What the hell is wrong with you?_  
 _DANIEL: Uncle Joey started it! He ate my pizza on purpose. He knows I hate sausage and olives..._  
 _JACK: Look what you did, you little shit!_  
 _MONICA: Daniel, get your ass into me and your father's room right now._  
 _DANIEL: Why?_  
 _ROSS: Daniel, you're such a disease._  
 _DANIEL: Fuck you Uncle Ross!_  
 _CHANDLER: Daniel, get your ass into mine and your mother's room right now and watch your mouth young man!_  
 _MONICA: Say good night, Daniel._  
 _DANIEL: "Good night, Daniel." (Exit Monica & Daniel, and Monica takes Daniel out of the famous purple room by his arm)_  
 _DANIEL: Wow Mom, what a grip you have for being a nine month pregnant woman._  
 _(CUT TO UPSTAIRS)_  
 _MONICA: There are 11 people in this apartment and you're the only one who has to make trouble._  
 _DANIEL: I'm the only one getting dumped on._  
 _MONICA: You're the only one acting up. Now get in mine and your Father's room!_  
 _DANIEL: I am in there, Bitch! (Monica opens the door to the master bedroom) Your and Dad's bedroom?_  
 _MONICA: Go._  
 _DANIEL: It's scary in there._  
 _MONICA: Don't be silly. Me and your father will be in there in a little while._  
 _Daniel: I don't want to sleep with you and Dad. You know: You and Dad are too romantic and mushy all the time. You'll act lovey dovey in front of me. I know it._  
 _MONICA: Fine, we won't act like it._  
 _DANIEL: I'm sorry._  
 _MONICA: It's too late. Get in there. (Daniel walks into his parents bedroom and stops)_  
 _DANIEL: Everyone in this family hates me._  
 _MONICA: Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family._  
 _DANIEL: I don't want a new family. I don't want any family. Fuck Families!_  
 _MONICA: Just stay up there! I don't want to see you again for the rest of the night._  
 _DANIEL: I don't want to see you again for the rest of my whole life. And I don't want to see anybody else either._  
 _MONICA: I hope you don't mean that. You'd be one sad fucked up little man if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't have a family._  
 _DANIEL: No, I wouldn't._  
 _MONICA: Then say it again. Maybe it'll happen._

 _DANIEL: I hope I never see any of you assholes again. And all you and Dad care about is that stupid baby that is coming in eight days, and Sophie & Karen. Like you couldn't have enough. (Daniel walks into his parents bedroom, Monica closes the door and rubs her large belly. Hoping that her and Chandler's newest son doesn't come out to be like his older brother)_

 _[BACK TO THE PRESENT DAY. THAT EVENING WHEN MONDLER ARE CUDDILING]_

CHANDLER: I can't believe we've been married for 20 years. I'm so in in love with you Mon.  
[He started to undress her]  
MONICA: I'm so in love with you too, Chandler.  
Chandler smiled warmly, then proceeded to make love to his loving and gorgeous wife.

AUTHORS NOTE: Let's say Sophie looks like what CC did as a teen(Type in Friends cast in high school), and Karen closely resembling Monica right before she got pregnant with Sophie on Thanksgiving '88. Good bye for right now!


	9. Ocean Blue

AUTHORS NOTE: Let's say Mondler's apartment had five bedrooms(In flasback and present day), but it's still the apartment twenty that we know and love.  
 _-Two days later..._  
Chandler said "I remember when your mother was seven months pregnant with you, her and Daniel had a bonding talk.  
"Cool" Clara said as she sat next to her father on the couch, and twirled her beach blonde hair.  
 _-March 1996.-_  
 _"Oh my god, it's so cute, Daniel has a bond with our new_ _unborn baby already. He likes to talk to the baby._ _" Monica said happily._  
 _"i swear, if your and Chandler's next baby is as a cute as Luke, Karen, or Sophie._ _I'm going to steal it." Rachel laughed and saw Joey at the window, that was pointing to the direction of Ugly Naked Guy's apartment: looking hopelessly._  
 _"Hot girl, hot girl!" Joey shouted at the window._  
 _Phoebe rolled her eyes at him_ , since he was her crush.  
 _"What is Uncle Joey doing?" Sophie asked and sat next to Phoebe on the couch, as Luke started to crawl around and grabbed her foot._  
 _"Bad Luke!" Sophie said firmly to her little baby brother who was trying to grab her foot. Everybody said that Sophie was gettng to the stage where she acted more and more like Monica. And looked like her too._  
 _"Soph!" Luke cried and put his teething ring back into his mouth_. He had sandy brown hair and sky blue eyes, like Chandler and Daniel. While Sophie and Karen have raven black hair  & piercing blue eyes like Monica. All the kids look like their parents, everyone says.  
 _"So" Rachel turned her attention back to her soon to-be sister in law, "Are you and Chandler going to find out this baby's gender went you go to your sonogram tomorrow?"_  
 _"Yeah" Monica agreed and looked down at her engagement &wedding rings. "We hope that the gender won't dissapoint the kids if it's not the one they want."_  
 _"Well", Rachel began "Which do they want?"_  
 _"Sophie and Karen want a sister obviously, while Daniel wants another brother. And Luke, we don't know about him" Monica sighed._  
 _A few minutes later, Ross and Chandler entered the apartment after their shifts at work were over. Ross was holding a box of chinese food in his hand._  
 _"Daddy!" Karen ran over to Chandler and he hugged her asking, "How's Daddy's little princess?"_  
 _Chandler then went over to Monica who was talking to Rachel, and kissed her neck._  
 _He asked "How's Baby Bing right now?" and kissed her large baby bump saying "Why, hello there Baby Bing" as the baby kicked under his lips._  
 _"Eww guys!", Ross groaned then_ _waved his hand in Joey's face as a wave of sunlight hit him, asking_ _"Man, what are you doing?"._  
 _"Ssh" Joey shushed him and shouted "Hot girl, where are you?'_  
 _"I hope you are having another boy, Mom" Daniel looked at his mom's belly that seemed to be getting bigger and bigger, as her seventh month went by._  
 _"No-no" Karen argues and puts her hands on her hips, adding "We want another sister. Boy's are gross and immature. No boy is as gross as you Daniel Bing!"_  
 _"And no girl is as ugly and stupid as you, Karen Bing!" Daniel fired back at his twin sister who broke down in tears._  
 _"Daddy, Daniel called me ugly and stupid" Karen sniffed in her father's lap._  
 _"Daniel!" Chandler looked angrily at his oldest son._  
 _"I'm sorry..." Daniel said._  
 _-That evening-_  
 _Daniel was very amazed of how things worked. He liked to talk to his mom's large belly._  
 _"Can I feel?" he asked._  
 _"Of course" Monica took his hand and placed it on her bump._  
 _"I bet it's a boy" Daniel felt his new baby sibling kick._  
 _"Danny, why do you think it's a boy? She incredously asked._  
 _"Because it kicks like Luke did" He started to say, "And you always eat fries in vanila milkshakes"_  
 _"Honey, I thought Sophie was a boy but the sonogram said it was a girl. And since you and Karen were twins your father and I couldn't tell" Monica state_ s, adding "And I craved that with all my pregnancies- regardless of the genders."  
 _"Well, do you think the baby can play with me and Luke as it gets older?" Daniel questions._  
 _Monica laughed "Yes Danny"_  
 _"It will be so much fun" Daniel turned his full attention to the large baby bump that was in front of him._

[BACK TO THE PRESENT DAY]

"How did Daniel react when he found out I was a girl?" Clara asked.  
"He reacted bad. Poor little boy he was. He reacted like Sophie & Karen when they found out Luke was a boy" Chandler chuckled at the mention of his oldest son.  
"He's quite vunerbale" Clara answered as the sunlight hit her bright blue eyes.  
"I remember when we were trying to pick names for you" Chandler repiled.  
 _-April 1996-_  
 _"You should name her Raquel" Rachel took a sip of her lemonade._  
 _"We already named the girls after you" Chandler states and wraps his arm around Monica, who is almost nine months pregnant: With their newest unborn daughter and fifth child._  
 _"How around Daniella?" Phoebe asked._  
 _Mondler nodded though they would save the name for later on._  
 _"What about Clara, Mommy?" Sophie asked._  
 _"Aww, that would be cute Mon. A little Clara" Chandler rubbed his wife's back._  
 _"That sounds perfect" Monica replied and asked "Middle names?_  
 _"Muriel!" Ross immidetley suggested._  
 _"Haha, funny Dino Man." Chandler gave his brother in-law a death glare._  
 _"Yeah Baby! Make her middle name Muriel!" Joey grinned._  
 _"i love it" Monica agreed._  
 _"Honey, are you sure? It sounds like a name from a sop opra" Chandler tried to change her mind._  
 _"Yes_ _, Mon Cherie. I love the name" Monica repiled and played with her engagement & wedding rings._  
 _"Then it's settled, her name is going to Clara Muriel" Chandler annouced as he cringed at his middle name. But he wanted to make his eight_ _month pregnant wife happy, since he picked out Daniel and Lucas for their sons while she picked out Sophie and Karen for their other two daughters._  
 _"Yeah, Baby!" Joey grinned._  
 _"Muriel, Haha!" Ross laughed like a little girl, who just got a new doll._  
 _"Shut up Dino Man. Or I can tell you how we concieved Luke as well." Chandler threatened._  
 _"Oh god, no!" Ross said in disgust._  
 _"Haha Dino Man" Chandler answered and started to kiss up Monica's arm._  
 _"Mama" Luke crawled to Monica._  
 _"Luke's the cutest little man ever!" Rachel gushed._  
 _"I know!' Monica grinned as Chandler continues kissing up her arm._  
 _"Oh, ew guys!" Ross exclaimed as he sipped his iced mocha._  
 _"Alright Dino Man, one more time or I am going to tell you how I got Monica pregnant with Luke!" Chandler fired back._  
(BACK TO THE PRESENT DAY. THAT EVENING WHEN MONDLER ARE CUDDLING.)  
"You make me so happy. I never knew I was falling in love until the night we made Sophie" Chandler kissed his wife.  
"You are my soulmate" Monica answered as he starts to undress her.  
Chandler smiled lovingly, as he proceeded to make love to his wonderful and beautiful wife.


	10. My Love

- _Later that day.._  
"Dad, how old were you and Mom when you two had Sophie?" Luke asked.  
"Well, Son I was 20 and your mother 18." Chandler told him.  
"Woah, Mom was 18?!" Luke's eyes lighted up.  
"Yes, Son. I also remember when we were having Daniel & Karen"  
 _-September 1990-_  
 _"Ugh, why won't they come out yet?" Monica groaned as both the babies started to kick._  
 _"I know, Baby." Chandler rubbed his wife's back and kissed her._  
 _She was two weeks overdue with their twins, a girl and boy. Which was unusual for twins._  
 _-At Central Perk-_  
 _"That's right, still no babies!" Monica groaned entering- still pregnant. She yells at two customers " Boy what's the matter? Is the puffy sweaty pregnant lady disturbing your precious coffee time? then turns to the gang and Baby Sophie. "Please make some room!"_  
 _"Cara Mia, maybe you'll be a bit more comforable sitting here" Chandler suggested and he sat his pregnant wife in between them all._  
 _"You. You did this to me again" Monica looked angrily at him._  
 _"Honey, soon they'll be out and we'll have two more beautiful babies" Chandler assured her and tickled Baby Sophie who's on his lap._  
 _"Oh Chandler, Mon Cherie that's a great story. Can you tell it to me when you're getting me some iced tea?" Chandler gets up and Monica groaned at her husband getting up. She yells at the babies, "Oh God, get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!"_  
 _'Let's" Phoebe said to the rest of the gang and they all get up._  
 _-Later that day-_  
 _"Hey little sis, have the babies yet?" Ross asked._  
 _"Do you want me come over there and sit on you? 'Cause I'll do it" Monica threated._  
 _"So, why are you home so early from work?" Rachel questions._  
 _"They said stay home prepare for the babies, and rest. But who cares, screw them." Monica explained._  
 _"You can do volunteer work" Phoebe suggests._  
 _"Mommy moody?" Baby Sophie asked._  
 _Chandler nodded, "Yes, Mommy is very moody"_  
 _"Hey. I heard that!" Monica frowned._  
 _"Sorry Cara Mia, you are moody and horny: stage ten." Chandler told her._  
 _"Eww, Man!" Ross exclaimed in disgust._  
 _"Shut up Dino Man!" Chandler fired back._  
 _-Three hours later-_  
 _"Still pregnant, you look great" Rachel said._  
 _Monica smiled at her._  
 _"I'm going to the bathroom. If I'm not out yet, it's because I choked to death on the potporri stink. Appartently these babies think my bladder is a chew toy" Monica annouced._  
 _"Okay, you hold her down and I blow in her mouth. Then pop, these kids will come right out" Phoebe suggested to Rachel._  
 _"She's gotta have these babies soon" Rachel sighs and adds, 'She is over a week late!"_  
 _"I don't know. I-I think it's still gonna be a while" Phoebe told her._  
 _"Hmm, care to make it interesting? I'll bet you that she'll have "it by this time tomorrow." Rachel smirks._  
 _"You're on!" Phoebe concurred._  
 _"Okay, how much?" Rachel asked._  
 _"One **hundred** thousand dollars!" Phoebe grinned._  
 _"How about fifty bucks?" Rachel suggests._  
 _"Fine! I'll call Zurich and move some money around." Phoebe repiled._  
 _"All right, who's turn is it to help me get up!" Monica asked from the bathroom._  
 _(They both look at each other, then Phoebe gets an idea.)_  
 _"No one's here!" Phoebe called out, then cried "Oh damnit!"_  
 _-The guys and Baby Sophie are at Burger King-_  
 _"Is Mon still moody?" Joey asks._  
 _Chandler nods. "I don't know if it's because she's pregnant, or if she's just messing with me"_  
 _"Well, you slept with my sister: then married her and she still has Geller in her._  
 _So, you are warned." Ross put a chicken nugget in his mouth._  
 _Chandler gave him a death glare, "Shut up, Dino Man!"_  
 _"Aunty Rossy, Dino Man" Baby Sophie says confused._  
 _"She's so much like Mon!" Joey said and looked at Ross, laughing. "Aunty Rossy"_  
 _-15 minutes later at the Bings apartment.-_  
 _"Where's Monica?" Chandler asked, entering the apartment from dropping Sophie to the Gellers._  
 _"She's in the bathroom" Rachel repiled._  
 _"People wonder why we had Sophie at 18, I don't know what to tell them" Chandler glooms and banged on the door, "Honey, we gotta go!"_  
 _"In a minute!" a very pregnant Monica yelled at her husband._  
 _Then Monica came out in a tank top and skirt that makes her large belly stick out more._  
 _Cara Mia, do you wanna go change first? The doctor's keeping the office open late for us, but if you hurry…" Chandler asked._  
 _"No, I'm fine" Monica insists._  
 _"Really? You don't think that's a little inappropriate." Chandler questions, looking at her large baby bump._  
 _"God, don't anger her" Phoebe stared at him._  
 _"Chandler, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable!" Monica snapped at him._  
 _"Went right threw it with when she was nine months with Sophie" Chandler mumbles to Ross & Carol who stared at him and turned back to Monica, "Alright, do what you want. You are the Mommy"_  
 _"Hey, Pal, don't you call me Mommy. It's bad enough that you call your own mother that" Monica said firmly._  
 _"I gotta agree with her on that one" Rachel answers._  
 _"Actually Mon, it is me who calls our Mother, "Mommy" Ross pointed out._  
 _"You still call your mother "Mommy"? Oh my god!" Joey laughed._  
 _"Well, who doesn't?" Ross glared at him._  
 _"Tomato, potato. Nobody cares" Monica snapped back at Ross._  
 _-At the doctors-_  
 _"…ere ever you this irritating?" Monica asked her husband as he drummed his fingers on the bed._  
 _"Wow!" Chandler exclaimed._  
 _"Excuse me?!" Monica asked, provoked._  
 _"Oh nothing, Honey. Nothing! Just uh, you've been a little short with me lately. I'm not trying to irritate you" Chandler said._  
 _"Well then you just must have a natural talent for it." Monica repiled sarcastically._  
 _"Y'know what? The doctor will be in soon, why don't we not speak until then." Chandler answers._  
 _"Okay. (Pause) Seriously, breathe louder Chandler! That's great!" Monica said._  
 _" Y'know we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver babies that are half human and half pure evil!" Chandler told her sarcasitcally._  
 _(Dr. Golly enters.)_  
 _"Hi Dr. Golly, how are you?" Monica asked._  
 _"Oh, you're nice to her." Chandler said, obviously hurt._  
 _"She has the drugs!" Monica states._  
 _"We'll do a quick check." Dr. Golly told the couple._  
 _"Okay." Monica put her head on the bed._  
 _"So, fifteen days late huh?" Dr. Golly asked._  
 _"Yeah." Monica agrees._  
 _"You must be a little uncomfortable."_  
 _"Eh, just a tad."_  
 _"You're about 80 percent effaced, so you're on your way. It still could last a little while longer. If you're anxious there are a few ways to help things along."_  
 _"Do them!" Chandler rubs his wife's back._  
 _"Actually, they're things you can do. Just some home remedies, but in my experience I've found that some of them are quite effective." Doctor Golly told them._  
 _"Well, we are ready to try anything." Monica said._  
 _"Okay, there's an herbal tea you can drink." Doctor Golly reads._  
 _"Okay."_  
 _"You can take some caster oil, there's eating spicy foods…"_  
 _"Great! We will do all of those." Monica repiled in enthusiam._  
 _" …taking a long walk" Doctor Golly continued._  
 _"Ok done!"_  
 _"...and then there's the one that's proved most effective: sex" Doctor Golly added._  
 _(Monica turns and looks at Chandler.)_  
 _"You've got to be kidding me!" Chandler said, looking at his nine months pregnant wife._  
 _-Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there as Phoebe, Rachel and Carol enter-_  
 _"Hey!" Rachel greets._  
 _"Hey." Chandler said._  
 _"Hi!" Monica repiled happily._  
 _"What did the doctor say? Any news on when the babies will come?" Rachel asked._  
 _"No. But she did give us some ideas on how to induce labor." Monica answers, adding "Sophie came out right away."_  
 _"Oh, c'mon Honey. We were saying our wows on our wedding day, and BAM! Your water broke" Chandler convinced her._  
 _"Shut up!" Monica told him._  
 _"Yeah, we tried them all. We went for a walk, uh we tried a special tea, caster oil, spicy food nothing has worked."_  
 _"Well, there is one thing that we haven't tried, but someone thinks that, (mimicking Chandler) "That won't be good for the babies." Monica looked at Chandler._  
 _"Well what is it? What is it? If it's gonna help bring the babies here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it." Rachel asked._  
 _"It's sex." Chandler told the girls._  
 _" Do it!" Rachel cheered._  
 _"Rachel!" Chandler said in a high-pitched voice._  
 _"I'm just saying you guys are rabbits, you guys do it all the time. I mean, women have needs. Do it, get yours!" Rachel tried to convince the couple._  
 _"Oh I-I don't know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex while she's this pregnant, the-the-the repercussions would be catastrophic." Phoebe said._  
 _"All right, let's be practical, if Chandler isn't willing to do it, he's not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow Barry—Barry is good!" Rachel repiled._  
 _"Ok, ok. Yeah, I don't-I don't think I want to do that." Monica wrinkled her nose in disgust._  
 _"You sure? I'm just saying the baby's head isn't getting any smaller. Yowser!" Rachel questions._  
 _"Rachel, what is the matter with you?" Chandler asks._  
 _"Nothing. I just want the babies to be born today." Rachel told them as a small smile entered her face._  
 _"Why? Why today?" Monica asked curiously._  
 _"Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that you're gonna have the babies_ _and I don't want to lose again!" Rachel revealed._

 _"What?! While she's been going through this hell, you've been making money?! You're betting on your friend staying in this misery?!" Chandler questions and starts to play with his wedding band(Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)_  
 _"I'll take that bet" Monica agrees._  
 _"What?!" Chandler starts to kiss her arm._  
 _"Well, I'm miserable here! I might as well make some money out it!" Monica insists._  
 _'Can I get some of that action?" Chandler asked as he continues kissing Monica's arm._  
 _"Wait a minute! Now I'm betting against all three of you?" Rachel incrediously stated._  
 _"Oh honey, don't worry. I really do feel like tomorrow's the day." Monica assured her._  
 _"Oh, okay!" Rachel cheerfully agreed._  
 _(Monica turns her head to Chandler and Phoebe and mouths, "No way.")_  
 _[Central Perk. The next day.]_  
 _Rachel:(counting) 60, 80, 100 (hands money to Phoebe) And 50 (hands money to Monica)_  
 _Monica **:** Ah!_  
 _Rachel: And 2 (hands Chandler some coins)_  
 _ChandlerYeah baby! (shakes the coins)_  
 _(Rachel is disappointed)_  
 _Rachel: Last, but not least, Baby Sophie!(Hands Baby Sophie some coins)_  
 _Sophie: Yay!_  
-Back to present day-  
"Woah!" Luke exclaims.  
"I remember when we went, to the first ultrasound for Clara" Chandler told him.  
-Janurary 1996-  
 _"4th month of pregnancy. How are you feeling?" Doctor Golly asked._  
 _"A little nausea" Monica repiled as Doctor Golly put gel on her belly._  
 _Then the baby's heart beat came on._  
 _"Oh my god!" Chandler exclaimed, starting to kiss Monica's arm as their fifth baby's heartbeat can be heard._

 _That's your baby" Doctor Golly told the happily married couple._  
 _-That evening. The gang, kids, Mrs. Bing, & the Geller parents are at the apartment-_  
 _"That's amazing" Ross told Mondler as the heartbeat from Monica's ultrasound can be heard._  
 _"I know!" Monica grinned as Chandler kisses up her arm, then he kissed her baby bump- that started to show the day after Christmas._  
 _"Sounds like something from a horror movie" Joey smirks as he heard the heartbeat._

-Back to the present day-

"I remember the first Thankgiving we had with Aunt Rachel" Chandler pat Luke's shoulder.

"Great" Luke put his feet on the coffee table.

 _November 1994_

 _[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is confronting her boss, Terry.]_

 _Rachel: Terry, I, I, I know that I haven't worked here very long, but I was wondering, do you think it would be possible if I got a $100 advance in my salary?_  
 _Terry: An advance?_  
 _Rachel: It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. See, every year we go skiing in Vail, and normally my father pays for my ticket, but I sort of started the whole independence thing, you know, which is actually why I took this job._  
 _Terry: Rachel, Rachel, sweetheart. You're a terrible, terrible waitress. Really, really awful._  
 _Rachel: Ok, I, I hear what you're sayin'. I'm with you. Um, but I, but I'm trying really hard. And I think I'm doing better. I really do. Does anybody need coffee? (everyone in the place raises their hand) Oh, look at that._  
 _Opening Credits_  
 _[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is approaching a customer.]_  
 _Rachel: Excuse me, sir. Hi, you come in here all time. I was just wondering, do you think there's a possibility that you could give me an advance on my tips?_  
 _Guy: Huh?_  
 _Rachel: Ok, ok, that's fine. Fine. Hey, I'm sorry about that spill before. (picks up the tip he leaves) Only $98.50 to go._  
 _(Monica enters.)_  
 _Monica: Hey. Ross, did you know Mom and Dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving?_  
 _Ross: No, they're not._  
 _Monica: Yes, they are. The Blymens invited them._  
 _Ross: You're wrong._  
 _Monica: I am not wrong._  
 _Ross: You're wrong._  
 _Monica: No, I just talked to them._  
 _Ross: (getting up, upset) I'm calling Mom._  
 _(Joey enters. His face looks abnormally colorful.)_  
 _Joey: Hey, hey._  
 _Chandler: Hey._  
 _Phoebe: Hey._  
 _Chandler: And this from the cry-for-help department. Are you wearing makeup?_  
 _Joey: Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model._  
 _Chandler: That's so funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash woman._  
 _Phoebe: What were you modeling for?_  
 _Joey: You know those posters for the city free clinic?_  
 _Monica: Oh, wow, so you're gonna be one of those "healthy, healthy, healthy guys"?_  
 _Phoebe: You know, the asthma guy was really cute._  
 _Chandler: Do you know which one you're gonna be?_  
 _Joey: No, but I hear lyme disease is open, so... (crosses fingers)_  
 _Chandler: Good luck, man. I hope you get it._  
 _Joey: Thanks._  
 _(Ross comes back to the couch.)_  
 _Ross: (to Monica) Well, you were right. How can they do this to us, huh? It's Thanksgiving._  
 _Monica: Ok, I'll tell you what. How about I cook dinner at the apartment? I'll make it just like Mom's._  
 _Ross: Will you make the mashed potatoes with the lumps?_  
 _Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?_  
 _Joey: Yeah._  
 _Monica: And I assume, Chandler hubbykins, you are still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays._  
 _Chandler: No, not every single one of them. Especially after we conceived Sophie on Thanksgiving '88(Winks at her seductively)_  
 _Ross: Chandler, stop it! I don't need to know what you do with my sister in bed._  
 _Monica: Phoebe, you're gonna be with your grandma?_  
 _Phoebe: Yes, and her boyfriend. But we're celebrating Thanksgiving in December 'cause he is lunar._  
 _Monica: So you're free Thursday, then._  
 _Phoebe: Yeah. Oh, can I come?_  
 _Monica: Yeah. Rach, are you thinking you're gonna make it to Vail?_  
 _Rachel: Absolutely. Shoop, shoop, shoop. Only a hundred and two dollars to go._  
 _Chandler: I thought it was $98.50._  
 _Rachel: Yeah, well it was. I, I broke a cup._  
 _Ross: Well, I'm off to Carol's._  
 _Phoebe: Ooh, ooh! Why don't we invite her?_  
 _Ross: (mimicking) Ooh, ooh. Because she's my ex-wife, and will probably want to bring her, ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner._  
 _[Scene: Carol and Susan's apartment, Susan is there. Ross enters.]_  
 _Ross: Hi, is uh, is Carol here?_  
 _Susan: No, she's at a faculty meeting._  
 _Ross: Oh, I uh, just came by to pick up my skull. Well, not mine, but..._  
 _Susan: Come in._  
 _Ross: Thanks. Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class, and I have to get it back to the museum._  
 _Susan: What's it look like?_  
 _Ross: Kinda like a big face without skin._  
 _Susan: Yes, I'm familiar with the concept. We can just look for it._  
 _Ross: Ok. (browsing the apartment) Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about bein' a lesbian._  
 _Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it._  
 _Ross: (picking up a book) Hey, hey, Yertle the Turtle. A classic._  
 _Susan: Actually, I'm reading it to the baby._  
 _Ross: The uh, the baby that hasn't been born yet? Wouldn't that mean you're... crazy?_  
 _Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?_  
 _Ross: You're not serious, I mean, you really... you really talk to it?_  
 _Susan: Yeah, all the time. I want the baby to know my voice._  
 _Ross: Do you uh, do you talk about me?_  
 _Susan: Yeah, yeah, all the time._  
 _Ross: Really?_  
 _Susan: But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy._  
 _[Scene: The Bings and Rachel's, everyone is there but Rachel.]_  
 _Ross: Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this._  
 _Phoebe: Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can totally hear everything. I can show you. Look, this will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we'll all talk, and you'll hear everything we say._  
 _Joey: I'd just like to say that I'm totally behind this experiment. In fact, I'd very much like to butter your head._  
 _Chandler: I talk to me and Mon's unborn Baby Boy Bing all the time. In fact I used to talk to our three kids when they, were in there._  
 _Daniel: Mommy why are you so fat?_  
 _Monica: I'm having a Baby around Christmas time in a few weeks, Son._  
 _Sophie: Yeah Mommy, you look really fat._  
 _Chandler: Sophie & Daniel! Don't tell your mom she looks fat._  
 _Daniel/Sophie: Sorry Daddy, Mommy is pregnant not fat._  
 _Chandler: That's better._  
 _(He goes over to Monica who is making the Thanksgiving food, and wraps his arms around her: kissing her neck and then bending down to kiss her large apron-covered belly)_  
 _Ross: Eww...guys!_  
 _(Rachel enters.)_  
 _Monica: Hey, Rach, did you make your money?_  
 _Rachel: No, not even close. Forget Vail, forget seeing my family, forget shoop, shoop, shoop._  
 _Monica: Rach, here's your mail._  
 _Rachel: Thanks, you can just put it on the table._  
 _Monica: (insistently) No, here's your mail._  
 _Rachel: Thanks, you can just put it on the table._  
 _Monica: (gives her an envelope) Would you just open it?_  
 _(Rachel opens it. Inside is the money she needed.)_  
 _Rachel: Oh my god, oh, you guys are great._  
 _Monica: We all chipped in._  
 _Joey: (to Monica) We did?_  
 _Monica: (to Joey) You owe me 20 bucks._  
 _Rachel: Thank you. Thank you so much!_  
 _Monica: (hands Chandler a bag) Chandler hubbykins, here you go, got your traditional Thanksgiving feast, you got your tomato soup, your grilled cheese fixin's, and your family size bag of Funyuns._  
 _Rachel: Wait, wait, Chandler, this is what you're havin' for Thanksgiving dinner? What, what, what is it with you and this holiday?_  
 _Chandler: All right, I'm nine years old._  
 _Ross: Oh, I hate this story._  
 _Chandler: We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have-and I remember this part vividly-a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced._  
 _Rachel: Oh my god._  
 _Chandler: Yes. It's very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse._  
 _Ross: (picks up a yam) Ohhh, what's this? I never saw this at mom's_  
 _Phoebe: It's a yam._  
 _Ross: Hello? This isn't a yam. Yam comes in a….purple cans. They don't-they don't come in these._  
 _Phoebe: K, Ross don't take this the wrong way or anything but…Back off!_  
 _[Scene: The subway, Joey spots a gorgeous woman waiting. He goes up to her.]_  
 _Joey: Uh, hi. Uh, we used to work together._  
 _Girl: We did?_  
 _Joey: Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?_  
 _Girl: Yeah, right._  
 _Joey: I gotta tell you. You're the best in the business._  
 _Girl: Get out._  
 _Joey: I'm serious. You're amazing. You know when to spritz, when to lay back._  
 _Girl: Really? You don't know what that means to me._  
 _Joey: Ooh, you smell great tonight. What're you wearing?_  
 _Girl: (provocatively) Nothing._  
 _(Pause)_  
 _Joey: Huhh. Listen, uh, you wanna go get a drink or something?_  
 _Girl: Yeah. (she gets up, notices something behind Joey) Oh._  
 _Joey: What's wrong?_  
 _Girl: I just remembered, I have to do something._  
 _Joey: Oh. What?_  
 _Girl: Um, leave._  
 _Joey: Wait, wait, wait!_  
 _(Joey turns around and sees his face on a poster in the subway. The poster says: What Mario isn't telling you...V.D., you never know who might have it. A variety of scenes are shown with the poster displayed all over New York City.)_  
 _[Scene: Central Perk, Joey enters, amongst snickers from the gang .]_  
 _Joey: So I guess you all saw it._  
 _Rachel: Saw what?_  
 _Phoebe: No, we were just laughing. You know, how laughter can be infectious._  
 _[Scene: The Bings and Rachel's, Joey enters, upset.]_  
 _Joey: Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD._  
 _Chandler: Tonight, on a very special Blossom._  
 _[Scene: The Bings and Rachel's, Monica is cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is standing in the doorway, not wanting to participate in the festivities.]_  
 _Monica: Mmm, looking good. Ok, cider's mulling, turkey's turking, yams are yamming. (notices Ross is depressed) What?_  
 _Ross: I don't know. It's just not the same without Mom in the kitchen._  
 _Monica: All right, that's it. You know what? Just get out of my way and stop annoying me._  
 _Ross: That's closer._  
 _(Thought to himself: Thank god for Mon's pregnancy hormones)_  
 _(Rachel enters, excited.)_  
 _Rachel: I got the tickets! I got the tickets! Five hours from now, shoop, shoop, shoop._  
 _Chandler: Oh, you must stop shooping._  
 _Rachel: Ok, I'm gonna get my stuff._  
 _Joey: Chandler, will you just come in already?_  
 _Chandler: No, I prefer to keep a safe distance from all this merriment._  
 _(Phoebe takes a slice of pumpkin pie and waves it in front of Chandler's face.)_  
 _Phoebe: Look out, incoming pumpkin pie!_  
 _Chandler: Ok, we all laughed when you did it with the stuffing, but that's not funny anymore._  
 _(Chandler leaves.)_  
 _Joey: Hey, Monica, I got a question. I don't see any tater tots._  
 _Monica: That's not a question._  
 _Joey: But my mom always makes them._  
 _It's like a tradition. You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a tot! It's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease._

 _Monica: All right, fine. Tonight's potatoes will be both mashed with lumps, and in the form of tots._  
 _(Chandler reenters the apartment from the balcony.)_  
 _Ross: Ok, I'm off to talk to my unborn child._  
 _(Ross grabs for some food, Monica slaps his hand away.)_  
 _Ross: Girls are mean! Mean pregnant lady you are._  
 _Chandler: And that mean pregnant lady is my wife and your little sister._  
 _(Ross gives him the Geller 'Screw you' gesture)_  
 _Monica: Ah!_  
 _Ross: Ok, Mom never hit._  
 _(Ross exits.)_  
 _Phoebe: (stirring pot) Ok, all done._  
 _Monica: What, Phoebe, did you whip the potatoes? Ross needs lumps!_  
 _Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry, oh, I just, I thought we could have them whipped and then add some peas and onions._  
 _Monica: Why the hell would we do that?_  
 _Phoebe: Well, 'cause then they'd be like my mom used to make them, you know, before she died._  
 _Monica: Ok, three kinds of potatoes coming up._  
 _Rachel: Ok, good-bye you guys. Thanks for everything. (she starts to leave, and hits everyone with her skis) Oh, sorry! Oh, sorry!_  
 _(Chandler enters, running.)_  
 _Chandler: The most unbelievable thing has happened. Underdog has just gotten away._  
 _Sophie/Karen/Daniel: Yay Daddy, Underdog has just gotten away!_  
 _Joey: The balloon?_  
 _Chandler: No, no, the actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon. It's all over the news. Right before he reached Macy's, he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park. I'm goin' to the roof, who's with me?_  
 _Rachel: I can't, I gotta go._  
 _Chandler: Come on. An 80-foot inflatable dog let loose over the city. How often does that happen?_  
 _Phoebe: Almost never._  
 _Monica: Got the keys? or Got the keys!_  
 _Rachel: Ok._  
 _(Everyone leaves the apartment.)_  
 _[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Ross is preparing to talk to her belly.]_  
 _Carol: Anytime you're ready._  
 _Ross: Ok, ok, here we go. (he crouches down near her stomach) Ok, where am I talking to, here? I mean, uh, well, there is one way that seems to offer a certain acoustical advantage, but..._  
 _Carol: Just aim for the bump._  
 _Ross: Ok, ok, ok, ok, here goes. You know, I, you know, can't do this. Uh, this is too weird. I feel stupid._  
 _Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it._  
 _Ross: (quickly talking) Hello, baby. Hello, hello._  
 _[Scene: The Bings and Rachel's, the group is coming back from the roof.]_  
 _Rachel: I loved the moment when you first saw the giant dog shadow all over the park._  
 _Phoebe: Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? I mean, that was just mean._  
 _Monica: Ok, right about now the turkey should be crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside. Why are we standing here?_  
 _Rachel: We're waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys._  
 _Monica: No I don't._  
 _Rachel: Yes, you do. When we left, you said, "got the keys."_  
 _Monica: No I didn't. I asked Chandler, got the ke-eys?"_  
 _Rachel: No, no, no, you said, "got the keys"._  
 _Chandler: Do either of you have the keys?_  
 _Monica: (panicked) The oven is on._  
 _Rachel: Oh, I gotta get my ticket!_  
 _Joey: Wait, wait, I have a copy of your key._  
 _Monica: Well then get it, get it!_  
 _Joey: That tone will not make me go any faster._  
 _Monica: (angry) Joey!_  
 _Joey: Ok, angry pregnant lady._  
 _Monica: Shut up and get the damn key Tribbiani!_  
 _(Joey leaves to get the copy of the key.)_  
 _[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Carol is reading, Ross is talking to her stomach.]_  
 _Ross: And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore._  
 _Carol: Look, you don't have to talk to it. You can sing to it if you want._  
 _Ross: Oh, please. I am not singing to your stomach, ok?_  
 _(Susan enters.)_  
 _Susan: Hi, how's it goin?_  
 _Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?_  
 _Carol: I did._  
 _Ross: Does it always, uh-?_  
 _Carol: No, no that was the first._  
 _Susan: Keep singing! Keep singing!_  
 _Ross: (singing) Hey, hey, you're my baby, and I can't wait to meet you. When you come out I'll buy you a bagel, and then we'll go to the zoo._  
 _Susan: I felt it!_  
 _Ross: (singing) Hey, hey, I'm your daddy. I'm the one without any breasts._  
 _[Scene: The Hallway, Joey has a tray full of keys, and is trying each one in the lock.]_  
 _Rachel: Oh, this is just really great! 5 o'clock, my plane is pulling away from the gate._  
 _Phoebe: Maybe you can take a later flight._  
 _Rachel: There is no later flight._  
 _Phoebe: Oh maybe you can go tomorrow._  
 _Rachel: But tomorrow is not Thanksgiving!_  
 _Phoebe: K, look if I'm going to try to cheer you up, you're going to have to meet me half way._  
 _Joey: Nope, not that one._  
 _Monica: Can you go any faster with that?_  
 _Joey: Hey, I got one keyhole and about a zillion keys. You do the math._  
 _Monica: Why do you have so many keys in there anyway Joey?_  
 _Chandler: (sarcastic) And Baby, for an emergency just like this._  
 _Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not._  
 _Monica: I swear you said you had the keys._  
 _Rachel: No, I didn't. I wouldn't say I had the keys unless I had the keys, and I obviously didn't have the keys._  
 _Phoebe: Ooh, ok, that's it. Enough with the keys. No one say keys._  
 _(Short pause.)_  
 _Monica: Why would I have the keys?_  
 _Rachel: Aside from the fact that you said you had them?_  
 _Monica: But I didn't._  
 _Rachel: Well, you should have._  
 _Monica: Why?_  
 _Rachel: Because!_  
 _Monica: Why?_  
 _Rachel: Because!_  
 _Monica: Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! (starting to cry) Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it's my first Thanksgiving, and it's all burned, and, and I... I..._  
 _Chandler: Ok, Monica Sweetie, only dogs can hear you now, so, look, the door's open. Here we go._  
 _(They walk in. Smoke fills the apartment.)_  
 _Joey: All right, Chandler don't lose this. (throws it do the drawer with all the other zillion keys)_  
 _Chandler: Oh, n-n-n-n-….._  
 _Monica: Well, the turkey's burnt. (checking pots) Potatoes are ruined, potatoes are ruined, potatoes are ruined._  
 _(Ross enters, singing.)_  
 _Ross: Here we come, walkin' down the—this doesn't smell like Mom's._  
 _Monica: No, it doesn't, does it? But you wanted lumps, Ross? (picks up the pan of badly burnt potatoes) Well, here you go, buddy, ya got one._  
 _Ross: Oh don't yell at me, you're the one who burnt dinner._  
 _Phoebe: (hits him) Hey! Don't make the pregnant lady squeak again!_  
 _Rachel: Oh, god, this is great! The plane is gone, so it looks like I'm stuck here with you guys._  
 _Joey: Hey, we all had better plans. This was nobody's first choice._  
 _Monica: Oh, really? So why the hell was I busting my ass to make this delicious Thanksgiving dinner?_  
 _Joey: You call that delicious?_  
 _(Monica is about to snap something else but then feels a pain)_  
 _Monica: Oh god, no. Oww!_  
 _Chandler: Mon, Mon, are you all right. Cara Mia?_  
 _Monica: No. No, I'm not; I think... I think I'm going into false labor!_  
 _Rachel: What? Are you sure? That hasn't happened to you since you had Sophie, five years ago._  
 _Monica: Yes, I'm sure of it! I never forgot what it felt like!_  
 _Joey: Well, then we'd better get her to the hospital just to be sure._  
 _Monica: Okay, but Chandler and I should go by ourselves; the rest of you stay here, clean up the mess, and get all this smoke out of here!_  
 _(Mondler leave and their kids & the gang promptly clear the smoke out, then clean up the apartment.)_  
 _(SCENE: In the waiting room. Monica and the dr. come out)_  
 _Chandler: Hey! So?_  
 _Dr. Golly: She's fine. She's experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions, mild discomfort caused by contractions in the uterine wall._  
 _Monica: The last time I had it was when I was pregnant with our oldest Sophie. Five years ago._  
 _Chandler: And-and there's no danger to her and our fourth baby and second son?_  
 _Dr. Golly: No-no. Contractions can be unnerving if you don't know what they are, but she's fine._  
 _Monica: Thank you doctor. (Dr. Golly exits.) (To Chandler) I'm so happy I married you after, you knocked me up with Sophie on Thanksgiving 1988._  
 _Chandler: I love you Mon. Let's go home._  
 _(SCENE: At apartment #20)_  
 _Phoebe: What happened?_  
 _Chandler: Doctor told us Mon was just having braxton hicks contractions._  
 _Ross: Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women don't even feel them._  
 _Rachel/Monica: Okay, no uterus, no opinion._  
 _Joey: So, everything's normal; there's no danger to the baby?_  
 _Monica: Yeah, everything's fine; just got to take it easy for a while and refrain from any strenuous activity is all._  
 _Phoebe: Well, as long as the baby's all right, that's all that matters._  
 _All: Yeah._  
 _[Time lapse. The gang and Mondler's kids are around the table, eating grilled cheese sandwiches.]_  
 _Chandler: Shall I carve?_  
 _Rachel: By all means._  
 _Chandler: Ok, who wants light cheese, and who wants dark cheese?_  
 _Ross: I don't even wanna know about the dark cheese._  
 _Monica: (holding sandwich) Does anybody wanna split this with me?_  
 _Joey: Oh, I will._  
 _Phoebe: Ooh, you guys have to make a wish._  
 _Monica: Make a wish?_  
 _Phoebe: Come on, you know, Thanksgiving. Ooh, you got the bigger half. What'd you wish for?_  
 _Joey: The bigger half._  
 _Chandler: I'd like to propose a toast. Little toast here, ding ding. I know this isn't the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked. And I couldn't be happier with Mon and our kids, I'm in love with you Monica.(Placed his hand gently on her large baby bump) Last but not least, Ross...Man, you are my best friend and the reason me & Mon concieved Sophie on Thanksgiving 1988- leading into our marriage._  
 _All: That's so sweet._  
 _Monica: I'm in love with you too Chandler. Very in love.(They kiss)_  
 _Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas._  
 _Rachel: And a crappy New Year._  
 _Chandler: Here, here!_  
 _Closing Credits_  
 _[Scene: The Subway, Joey sees his poster and he peels off the caption on his poster, revealing more posters underneath. The captions read, as follows:_  
 _Bladder Control Problem_  
 _Stop Wife Beating_  
 _Hemorrhoids?_  
 _Winner of 3 Tony Awards._

 _-June 1988-_

 _(MONICA AND CHANDLER ARE AT THE NEXT ULTRASOUND. THE DOCTOR LADY JUST FINISHED LOOKING AT THE RESULTS AS MONICA AND CHANDLER ARE HOLDING HANDS.)_  
 _DOCTOR:_  
 _We know the gender of the baby. Would you like to know now or wait?_  
 _MONICA:_  
 _Oh, tell us now, please._  
 _CHANDLER:_  
 _We would love to know now._  
 _DOCTOR:_  
 _You're having… a girl!_  
 _MONICA:_  
 _Omigosh yay!_  
 _(MONDLER KISSES AS THE DOCTOR WATCHES THEM, SMILING.)._

 _(LATER THEY ARE ALL GATHERED IN MONICA'S PARENTS' HOUSE, SITTING AROUND THE LIVING ROOM.)_  
 _JUDY:_  
 _So what's the big news, kids?_  
 _MONICA (SMILING HUGELY):_  
 _We're having a girl!_  
 _(Everyone starts cheering in excitement.)_  
 _RACHEL:_  
 _That's so awesome! You get to have a little baby girl!_  
 _JUDY:_  
 _This calls for celebration! Let's have a girls' day out. Grab your purses, kids, let's go._  
 _(Rachel and Monica squeal, then grab their bags and follow Judy out the door.)_  
 _ROSS:_  
 _I can't believe she's having a girl. It's amazing._  
 _CHANDLER:_  
 _I know, right?_  
 _JACK:_  
 _You two up for boys' day in?_  
 _(Ross and Chandler nod, then turn on the TV. It's time for some quality wrestling!)_

 _(MONICA, RACHEL, AND JUDY ARE ALL AT THE MALL, SHOPPING FOR NEW CLOTHES.)_  
 _RACHEL:_  
 _Ms. Geller! That would look great on you!_  
 _JUDY:_  
 _Really?_  
 _RACHEL:_  
 _Oh, yes! Floral print is totally your style!_  
 _JUDY:_  
 _I'll try it on. Thank you, Rachel!_  
 _(She goes into the changing room, leaving Monica and Rachel alone.)_  
 _RACHEL:_  
 _Great. Now, Mon, help me pick out something a little bit slutty. Or a lot a bit slutty._  
 _(she winked)_  
 _MONICA (Giggling):_  
 _Okay!_  
 _(They go over to that side of the store.)_  
 _MONICA (Holding up a pink tube top):_  
 _How about this?_  
 _RACHEL:_  
 _No. I need my mystery date to sleep with me, not to be blinded by me._  
 _MONICA:_  
 _Ooh, a mystery date? That's what this is for?_  
 _RACHEL:_  
 _Yes! Oh, yes! I'm so excited. He's supposed to be amazing! Tall, dark, handsome, possibly famous._  
 _MONICA:_  
 _Possibly?_  
 _RACHEL:_  
 _Yeah. My friend who told him about me said—ooh, Monica! Look at this!_  
 _(She holds up a skimpy red dress.)_  
 _MONICA:_  
 _Oh, it's perfect!_  
 _RACHEL:_  
 _I know!_  
 _JUDY (Coming out of the changing room):_  
 _Oh, that's wonderful, Rachel._  
 _RACHEL (Folding it up):_  
 _I know!_  
 _(Monica found a pretty green dress next and then they paid and went to get coffee.)_

 _(MEANWHILE THE BOYS WERE AT HOME, AND DECIDED THAT INSTEAD OF JUST WATCHING WRESTLING, THEY WOULD TRY IT OUT. ROSS WAS CURRENTLY ON TOP OF CHANDLER, TRYING TO PULL HIS SHOE OFF.)_  
 _ROSS:_  
 _Wrawr! My GOD, Chandler! How tight do you tie these things?!_  
 _CHANDLER (Shrugging):_  
 _Tight enough, I guess?_  
 _JACK:_  
 _Oh, get off the floor, kids. Ross is just way too good at this for you, Chandler. You'll hurt yourselves._  
 _(Chandler and Ross look at each other, evil grins on their faces.)_  
 _BOTH:_  
 _DOGPILE!_  
 _(They jumped onto Jack, then tried to pull his shoes off, but somehow only managed to get his socks.)_  
 _ROSS:_  
 _What the hell?!_  
 _JACK:_  
 _I wear socks outside of my shoes sometimes._  
 _(Ross and Chandler, red-faced, lounged back onto the couch as they turned wrestling back on. Soon the girls came back home.)_  
 _JUDY:_  
 _How was your afternoon, boys?_  
 _MONICA:_  
 _Looks like it was quite a work-out to me._  
 _RACHEL:_  
 _Yeah. What did you three do?_  
 _(The boys all laughed, but soon Monica cried out.)_  
 _ROSS:_  
 _Mon, what's wrong?_  
 _MONICA:_  
 _I think I'm going into labor!_  
 _CHANDLER:_  
 _But—but that's not possible! We only just found out that it's a girl! It's too soon!_  
 _MONICA:_  
 _The baby doesn't think so!_  
 _JUDY:_  
 _It's okay, Monica. It's probably just false labor. I got this with you and Ross._  
 _(Monica nods and sits down on the couch.)_  
 _CHANDLER:_  
 _I'll call the hospital just in case, to make sure that everything is okay. Ross, can you get the book?_  
 _(Ross nods, then grabs the holy bible.)_  
 _RACHEL:_  
 _What good will this do?!_  
 _ROSS:_  
 _He didn't say which book!_  
 _(Everyone in a frenzy, only Judy stayed calm, trying to help Monica keep herself relaxed during this false labor.)_

 _(HALF AN HOUR LATER. THEY ARE ALL AT THE HOSPITAL, MONICA IN THE BED AND CHANDLER AND JUDY BESIDE HER. EVERYONE ELSE IS WAITING IN THE WAITING ROOM, SIPPING THEIR COFFEE AND ICE WATER NERVOUSLY.)_  
 _JUDY (Coming out of the room):_  
 _Everything is okay._  
 _ROSS:_  
 _Oh, thank God!_  
 _JUDY:_  
 _It was false labor, like I had guessed. Everything is going okay now, and the doctor is just telling Monica and Chandler how to know the difference between real and false._  
 _JACK:_  
 _Good to hear. We were freaking out out here!_  
 _RACHEL:_  
 _Yeah! It was like a bomb went off!_  
 _(A few minutes later Monica and Chandler come out of the room.)_  
 _MONICA:_  
 _Hi guys._  
 _CHANDLER:_  
 _Hey._  
 _(Ross and Rachel hug Monica.)_  
 _ROSS:_  
 _We were so worried! It's a miracle that it wasn't real labor._  
 _CHANDLER (Nodding):_  
 _We got these cute pamphlets now and a nice speech from the doctor about how to know when it's real and false. We shouldn't have any more scares._  
 _MONICA:_  
 _Thankfully._  
 _(Mondler kisses and they head out the door, everyone safe and everything returned to normal. For now.)_

 _-Janurary 1989-_  
 _(Monica and Chandler went to the baby store to look for clothes and toys, because they had a 50% off of everything deal. They decided that it would be the best way to get the most for their baby.)_  
 _(While Chandler is looking at all of the tiny robots and aliens, Monica is looking at the rattles.)_  
 _Monica: Chandler! Come here!_  
 _(Chandler came over and Monica held up a shiny rainbow rattle with clouds all over it.)_  
 _Monica: Oh, isn't it perfect?_  
 _(Chandler nodded, smiling)_  
 _Chandler: I love it, Mon. I think that's the perfect rattle for our baby. Wait! Wow! They have a "Space Invaders" one!_  
 _(Monica laughed.)_  
 _Monica: We can get that one too._  
 _(Chandler smiled hugely and they put both of the rattles into the basket.)_  
 _Monica: Now where are those plushies you were looking at? Our baby is going to need some stuffed animals to sleep with._  
 _Chandler: And play with!_  
 _(Monica smiled and Chandler showed her to a few isles over, where there were two whole isles of stuffed animals to choose from. They had teddy bears, aliens, and even little cookies and ice cream.)_  
 _Monica: Oh, look at the Girl Scout cookie ones!_  
 _(She pointed to a gift set of cookie stuffed toys, which looked like the Girl Scout cookie characters.)_  
 _Chandler: Oh! Do-Si-Do is cute._  
 _Monica: I like Thin Mint. He has a pretty sash._  
 _Chandler: We should get that set, Mon. Our baby would love it._  
 _(Monica looked at the price tag. It was much too expensive, even 50% off.)_  
 _Monica: We can't afford it._  
 _(Chandler sighed.)_  
 _Chandler: That's okay. There are plenty of other good ones._  
 _(As soon as Monica turned her back, Chandler grabbed a Girl Scout Cookie gift set and placed it into their basket underneath two onesies. He had brought some of his old high school savings just in case this happened. He planned to surprise her with them later.)_  
 _Monica: Chandler! Look!_  
 _(Monica held up a little yellow teddy bear with a purple ribbon around its neck and another on each ear.)_  
 _Chandler: Oh, that's perfect! And look! E.T.!_  
 _(Chandler held up an E.T. plush and Monica laughed. She looked at the price on it and then smiled.)_  
 _Monica: Get it. If anything, it'll be a laugh when they get older._  
 _(Monica turned to put her teddy bear back onto the shelf. Chandler watched her.)_  
 _Chandler: I'll only get E.T. if you get the yellow teddy._  
 _(He looked at its place on the shelf.)_  
 _Chandler: And the matching blue bunny._  
 _(Monica smiled bigger than he had ever seen, then planted a kiss on his lips and hugged him.)_  
 _Monica: I love you, Chandler._  
 _Chandler: I love you too, Mon._  
 _(After a happy moment, Monica pulled out of the hug and grabbed both the bunny and the bear, then picked up E.T. and placed him into the basket next to them.)_  
 _Monica: Do we need anything else?_  
 _Chandler: Well we're going to get the crib and furniture stuff later we decided, so no, I don't think so._  
 _Monica: Okay. Let's go pay._  
 _(Chandler smiled secretively, then pointed to the stroller isle.)_  
 _Chandler: Wait! Monica! We have got to get a stroller!_  
 _Monica: Oh, yeah! Let's go pick one out._  
 _Chandler: Actually, babe, I think that you should go pick one. I'll get in line._  
 _Monica: Really?_  
 _Chandler: Yeah. I trust you will get the best thing no matter what it is. And I'm sure that no one can pick a better stroller than you._  
 _(Monica smiled, then kissed him on the cheek and went to pick a stroller.)_  
 _(Chandler waited for two people in line to go, then paid for the cookie plushies first. He pulled out money from his savings wallet to pay for them, and smiled. He couldn't wait to see Monica's face when she found out that he got them.)_  
 _(Monica came back right before he finished paying, then placed a stroller onto the register table. It was dark blue with smiley faces on it. Chandler smiled when she put it down.)_  
 _Chandler: I told you._  
 _Monica: Told me what?_  
 _Chandler: That you would pick the best one in the store._  
 _(He kissed her on the cheek, then finished paying and grabbed the bags to leave.)_

 _-That evening-_  
 _(Monica and Chandler went to dinner at a restaurant that night. Monica's parents had given them the money, saying that they deserve a fun night out after all the work they were doing. After they finished eating, Monica suggested ordering dessert, and Chandler thought the moment was perfect.)_  
 _Chandler: Speaking of dessert. . ._  
 _(He pulled out the cookie plushy set from underneath his chair. He had snuck it down their when Monica went to use the restroom.)_  
 _Monica: Oh my God!_  
 _(Monica clapped a hand over her mouth as tears formed in her eyes.)_  
 _Monica: How did you. . .?_  
 _Chandler: I brought some of my high school savings to pay for it. Well, not that specifically, but I knew that there would be something you would really want and say was too expensive._  
 _Monica: Oh, Chandler! That money wasn't for anything important, right?_  
 _Chandler: No. Just a car. But I figured that I'm going to live in New York anyway, and cabs are faster. And that smile you have on your face right now is worth more than a million dollars in my opinion._  
 _(Monica smiled wide, then hugged the cookie set close to her.)_  
 _Chandler: Oh! And one more thing. . ._  
 _(Chandler reached under the chair again, and this time pulled out a tiny pair of baby shoes. They were purple with little ice cream cones on the top.)_  
 _Monica: Aww! They're so cute! When did you find these?_  
 _Chandler: They were by the checkout. It was an impulse buy._  
 _Monica: Well it was a perfect impulse buy. Thank you, Chandler. I love you._

 _(She stood up, then went around the table and gave him a big kiss right on the lips, wrapping her arms around his neck. Then Chandler held a hand up to signal a waiter and they ordered dessert. Funny thing is, they ordered cookies and ice cream.)_

 _November 1994._

 _[Scene: The Bings apartment. It's just Mondler, their kids and Joey there]_  
 _Monica: I'm so uncomfortable(Sets the table for dinner)_  
 _Chandler: Aww Baby. I'm so sorry, I love you(Kisses her lips softly and her large belly where he can feel their fourth child and second son kick under his lips)_  
 _Karen: I wish you were having another girl._  
 _The Geller genetics combined with the Bing genetics, worked pretty well together leading to their kids looking gorgeous._  
 _Monica: Don't say that, you are gonna love having another brother soon. Sweetie._  
 _Karen: No Mom. I hate Daniel, he's mean(Frowns)_  
 _Daniel:(In the bathroom) And I hate you too._  
 _Sophie:(Wears her pink ballerina outfit, enters the living room too) Yeah Mom why do you have to have another boy?_  
 _Joey: Ah, I remember this is how I acted when I found out Dina was a girl._  
 _(Ross, Rachel and Phoebe enter. Phoebe is on the phone while Ross is holding a box of Chinese food in his hand)_  
 _Monica: You guys are home early, what's up with that?_  
 _Ross: Phoebe got us thrown out of the movies. She was on the phone talking to Mike in Paris(yeah the one on the show and she met him in chapter four). Well I brought home Chinese food._  
 _Phoebe: I had to talk loud, the movie was loud!_  
 _Joey: I can talk in Paris, just gotta go to Paris._  
 _[TIME LAPSE: The gang and kids were eating their dinner]_  
 _(The phone rings and Monica picks it up)_  
 _Monica(On the phone): Hi Daddy... Nana's in the hospital...Me, Ross and Chandler will there right away._  
 _(Monica's just about to hang up the phone but then felt a hard kick. She then put down the phone)_  
 _Monica: It's Nana...she's in the hospital._  
 _(Ross looks up from his food with a look of sadness and disbelief on his face)_  
 _Rachel: We can watch the kids for you guys._  
 _(TIME LAPSE: Ross, Chandler, Monica, Jack & Judy are in the hospital waiting for the nurse to let them see Nana)_  
 _The Doctor: Only two at a time can see her._  
 _In the room, the Geller siblings enter._  
 _Ross: She looks so small._  
 _Monica: I know. Bye Nana...(Bends down as much as her large belly allows her too, and kisses her grandmothers forehead)_  
 _Ross:I love you Nana(Attempts to kiss her forehead also)_  
 _Then Nana stirs a bit as Ross tries to kiss her forehead._  
 _Ross: Oh my god!_  
 _Monica(By the door): Ross come quick._  
 _They then run out of the room- or in Monics's case, waddles out._  
 _The Geller parents: What just happened?_  
 _Ross: It's Nana, she's risen from dead._  
 _Monica is still freaking out and Baby Boy Bing started kicking his mother's ribcage._  
 _Chandler held his pregnant wife stroking her medium length raven black hair. And looked in her eyes, as blue as an ocean._  
 _-Back in the hospital room-_  
 _The doctor: This has never happened before!_  
 _[TIME LAPSE: At the Bings and Rachel's apartment)_  
 _Phoebe: So what happened?_  
 _Chandler: Me and Mon need a moment with the kids. Can you guys go right now?_  
 _Joey: Okay suit yourself(Him, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe go to apartment #19)_  
 _Daniel: Mommy, why you are so big?_  
 _Monica: Because I'm having a baby soon. Son(Smiles and ruffles their son's sandy brown hair)_  
 _Chandler: Kids, remember when Nana got sent to a nursing home a few months ago?(They nod). Well tonight she's passed on which is why me, your mother and Uncle Ross went to the hospital with your mom's parents._  
 _[TIME LAPSE: The next morning, at the Bings and Rachel's apartment Monica is discussing coffins with her dad.]_  
 _Mr. Geller: I was just thinking. When my time comes-_  
 _Monica: Dad!_  
 _Mr. Geller: Listen to me! When my time comes, I wanna be buried at sea._  
 _Monica: You what?_  
 _Mr. Geller: I wanna be buried at sea, it looks like fun._  
 _Monica: Define fun._  
 _Mr. Geller: C'mon, you'll make a day of it! You'll rent a boat, pack a lunch..._  
 _Monica: ...And then we throw your body in the water... Gee, that does sound fun._  
 _Mr. Geller: Everyone thinks they know me. Everyone says 'Jack Geller, so predictable'. Maybe after I'm gone, they'll say 'Buried at sea! Huh!'._  
 _Monica: That's probably what they'll say._  
 _Mr. Geller: I'd like that._  
 _[Scene: Nana's house, Ross, Mrs. Geller and Aunt Lillian are going through clothes.]_  
 _Ross: I thought it was gonna be a closed casket._  
 _Mrs. Geller: Well, that doesn't mean she can't look nice!_  
 _(They open a cupboard which, amongst other things, contains a chest of drawers)_  
 _Mrs. Geller: Sweetie, you think you can get in there?_  
 _Ross: (sarcastic) I don't see why not._  
 _(He tries pushing against the chest of drawers. Then he opens one of the drawers and climbs into the closet using that; he falls behind the chest of drawers with a shout.)_  
 _Ross: Here's my retainer!_  
 _[Scene: At the Bings and Rachel's apartment.]_  
 _Jack: Sweetie, I just want you to know that your mother and I are really proud of you and Chandler for having such a great family together._  
 _Monica: Thanks, Daddy. I know you two are._  
 _Jack: And I really can't wait for this new Baby Bing to be here soon; I love it when Judy and I become grandparents._  
 _Monica: l know, neither can I. Personally, I hope this one turns out to be a boy; Daniel's always talking about wanting a brother to play around with and honestly, I think he could really use one.(Pats her large belly)_  
 _Jack: I agree. It'd be good for the boy's masculinity to have a brother to grow up as opposed to just having sisters. Plus, having two boys and two girls really balances things out._  
 _Monica: Yeah, that's one of the other reasons why I hope it's a boy too._  
 _[Scene: Nana's Bedroom, Ross is holding a dress out from inside the closet.]_  
 _Ross: (holding a dress out from inside the closet) This one?_  
 _Aunt Lillian: No._  
 _Ross: I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy._  
 _Aunt Lillian: You know, whatever we pick, she would've told us it's the wrong one._  
 _Mrs. Geller: You're right. We'll go with the burgundy._  
 _Ross: Oh! A fine choice. I'm coming out. (Starts to climb over the furniture)_  
 _Aunt Lillian: Wait! We need shoes!_  
 _(Ross falls back inside)_  
 _Ross: Okay. Um, how about these? (Holds out a pair)_  
 _Mrs. Geller: That's really a day shoe._  
 _Ross: And where she's going everyone else will be dressier?_  
 _Aunt Lillian: Could we see something in a slimmer heel?_  
 _Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work._  
 _Aunt Lillian: No, it really should be burgundy._  
 _Mrs. Geller: Mm. Unless we go with a different dress?_  
 _Ross: No! Nonono, wait a sec. I may have something in the back._  
 _(He finds a shoebox (out of shot), pulls it down and opens it. It is full of Sweet 'n' Lo's.)_  
 _Ross: Oh my God.._  
 _Mrs. Geller: Is everything all right, dear?_  
 _Ross: Yeah, just... just Nana stuff._  
 _(He reaches up higher and knocks down another shoebox 'n' Lo's rain down on him)_  
 _[The Bings and Rachel's. Monica and Mr. Geller are looking at Casket Catalogs in the kitchen.]_  
 _Monica: Dad, let's just make a decision._  
 _Mr. Geller: You're right. This is crazy. It's just going into the ground. We should just get the most basic thing._  
 _Monica: Great! (looking at a catalog) That would be the non-protective corrugate fiberboard with white laminate. And we can't bury Nana in dresser drawer from Ikea._  
 _Mr. Geller: See, this is why your mother buys all my clothes. I hate to shop. I hate it!_  
 _Monica: Dad, don't you think this might be more about the fact that...once you make the decision, it's like acknowledging Nana's actually gone?_  
 _Mr. Geller: No, I really hate to shop._  
 _[Scene: The Bings and Rachel's, Chandler , Monica, Sophie, Daniel, Karen and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.]_  
 _Ross: (entering) How we doing, you guys ready?_  
 _Monica: Mom already called this morning to remind me not to wear my hair up. Did you know my ears are not my best feature?_  
 _Ross: Some days it's all I can think about._  
 _Phoebe: (entering) Hi, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my bearings._  
 _Rachel: Oh, you-you mean your earrings?_  
 _Phoebe: What'd I say?_  
 _Joey: (entering) Morning. We ready to go?_  
 _Chandler: Well, don't we look nice all dressed up?...It's stuff like that, isn't it?_  
 _(They all leave.)_  
 _(I'm not going to write about the grave falling. It's Joey who falls down the open grave for long story short)_  
 _[Scene: At the Geller home in Long Island, Rachel's squatting over Joey, checking to see if he's injured]_  
 _Rachel: "Okay, sweetie, don't worry, I'm just checking to see if the muscle's in spasm...huh._  
 _Joey: What, what is it?_  
 _Rachel: You missed a belt loop._  
 _Joey: Oh! No-n-_  
 _Rachel: Okay, it's in spasm._  
 _(Then Ross appears with a bottle of pills)_  
 _Ross: Here, buddy, my mom suggested you take these; she took 'em when she had her golfing accident._  
 _Later on when Joey's stoned on the pills-_  
 _Rachel: Hey, look who's up! How do you feel?_  
 _Joey: I feel great. I feel- great, I fleel great._  
 _Monica: Wow, those pills really worked, huh?_  
 _Joey: Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love Monica... (he hugs her) I love Rach... (he kisses her on the nose)_  
 _Rachel: Ooh! That's so nice..._  
 _slurred by Joey ...Chandler! Ross!_  
 _(spoken by Chandler Hey, buddy. How ya doin'?_  
 _Ross: Yeah, ya feelin' all right?_  
 _Joey: I'm grrreat. I love you guys. (he hugs them simultaneously) And listen, guys, if you wanna bang Monica and Rachel's brains out and give 'em all the kids they want, just do it. Doesn't matter to me._  
 _(He leaves the two men and their respective lovers gaping at him in embarrassment. Then he approaches Phoebe, who's sitting on the nice sofa.)_  
 _Joey: Phoebe. Phoebe Phoebe. (he sits down beside her) I love you the most._  
 _(spoken by Phoebe) Oh, Joey, I love you the most too. (she's just humoring him)_  
 _(slurred by Joey) No, no, I mean I realllllly love you._  
 _(spoken by Phoebe) And I reallllly love you. (still humoring him)_  
 _(slurred by Joey) Oh.. you don't get it! (he passes out and slumps across her)_  
 _[Scene: Mondler are away from the guests]_  
 _Chandler: Mon, you make me so happy and given me three kids with another on the way. I'm so in love with you._  
 _Monica: And I'm so in love with you too._  
 _(He placed his hand gently on her large belly and kissed her. Then kissed her arm.)_

 _Ross: Eww, guys...cut it out! We've got kids here._  
 _Rachel: And they are so in love!_  
 _Sophie/Karen/Daniel: OMG eww, Mom and Dad!_  
 _(Cut to Ross watching TV in the corner. He makes an extravagant gesture of disappointment.)_  
 _Mr. Geller: Whaddya got there Son?_  
 _Ross: (hides the TV, but he still has an earphone) Just a, uh... hearing disability Dad._  
 _Mr. Geller: What's the score?_  
 _Ross: Seventeen-fourteen Giants... three minutes to go in the third._  
 _Mr. Geller: Beautiful! (Turns to watch with him)_  
 _(Time lapse. A large crowd of men are now watching the game)_  
 _Phoebe: (still trapped under Joey) Rach, could you maybe hand me a cracker?_  
 _Mrs. Geller: (to Monica) Your grandmother would have hated this._  
 _Monica: Well, sure, what with it being her funeral and all._  
 _Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'._  
 _Monica(Chuckling): That sounds like Nana._  
 _Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?_  
 _Monica: ...I can imagine._  
 _Mrs. Geller: I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the positive, life-affirming person that she is._  
 _Monica: That is a wonder. So tell me something, Mom. If you had to do it all over again, I mean, if she was here right now, would you tell her?_  
 _Mrs. Geller: Tell her what?_  
 _Monica: How she drove you crazy, picking on every little detail, like your hair... for example._  
 _Mrs. Geller: I'm not sure I know what you're getting at._  
 _Monica: Do you think things would have been better if you'd just told her the truth?_  
 _Mrs. Geller: ...No. I think some things are better left unsaid. I think it's nicer when people just get along._  
 _Monica: Huh._  
 _Mrs. Geller: More iced tea, dear?_  
 _Monica: Oh, I think so. I'm one uncomfortable eight month pregnant woman._  
 _Mrs. Geller: (reaches out to fiddle with Monica's hair again, and realizes) Those earrings look really lovely on you._  
 _Monica: Thank you. They're yours._  
 _Mrs. Geller: Actually they were Nana's._  
 _(There is a cry of disappointment from the crowd of men.)_  
 _Mr. Geller: Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was._  
 _Mrs. Geller: Sweetie, even though we don't get along you are my baby. And me and your father are so proud of how far you and Chandler have come; three grandbabies and another one coming in a month._  
 _Monica: I know that Mom(Flashed a small smile)_  
 _Mrs. Geller: Only 6 more weeks, how are you feeling?_  
 _Monica: Uncomfterable, he kicks a lot when I try to sleep.(Rubs her large belly)_  
 _Mrs Geller: Soon he'll be out, and you & Chandler will have another son. Another handsome baby boy._  
 _Monica: I know!_  
 _ENDING CREDITS_  
 _[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is looking at old photos.]_  
 _Monica: Oh look this is my first grade picture. Oh, please ignore the "Dy-no-mite!" t-shirt._  
 _Rachel: Ha-haa. Hey, who's this little naked guy?_  
 _Ross: That little naked guy would be me._  
 _Rachel: Aww, look at the little thing._  
 _Ross: Yes, yes, fine, that is my p...(Trails off so that the kids don't hear). Can we be grown-ups now?_  
 _Chandler: Who are those people?_  
 _Ross: Got me._  
 _Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'._  
 _Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?_  
 _Monica: Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25?_  
 _Ross: Looks like a fun gang. (They all look at each other and smile)_  
 _Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!_  
 _Ross: (looking) Nono, that would be me again. I'm, uh, just trying something._  
 _Phoebe: Whose these toddlers?_  
 _Monica: That's Karen and Daniel on their first birthday._  
 _Rachel: Karen looks just like you Mon._  
 _Joey: And Daniel looks like you Chandler._

 _December 24, 1994._

 _Opening Credits_  
 _[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing. Joey is not there.]_  
 _Phoebe: So you guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. I have twelve new songs about my mother's suicide, and one about a snowman._  
 _Chandler: Might wanna open with the snowman._  
 _(Enter Joey)_  
 _All: Hey, Joey. Hey, buddy._  
 _Monica: So, how'd it go?_  
 _Joey: Ahhhhhh, I didn't get the job._  
 _Ross: How could you not get it? You were Santa last year._  
 _Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political._  
 _Monica: So what are you gonna be?_  
 _Joey: Ah, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. It's just such a slap in the face, y'know?_  
 _ **Rachel:** (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh!_  
 _ **Phoebe:** (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)_  
 _I made a man with eyes of coal_  
 _And a smile so bewitchin',_  
 _How was I supposed to know_  
 _That my mom was dead in the kitchen?_  
 _(shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la..._  
 _(Cut to later. Everyone is totally depressed by now.)_  
 _ **Phoebe:** (Sung)_  
 _...My mother's ashes_  
 _Even her eyelashes_  
 _Are resting in a little yellow jar,_  
 _And sometimes when it's breezy..._  
 _Chandler: Let's get the kids from my mom, Mon._  
 _Monica: OK._  
 _Monica was still weak and tired from giving birth, about three days ago. But nothing's gonna stop her from making the food for the Christmas eve party they were hosting that evening._  
 _(Exit Mondler)_  
 _[SCENE: The Bings and Rachel's apartment. Mondler brought home Baby Lucas "Luke" from the hospital, the day before]_  
 _Rachel: Aww, Luke looks just like you Chandler._  
 _Ross: Poor Baby Luke._  
 _Chandler: Shut up Dino Man or I can tell you all the details of how, me and Monica conceived all of our kids._  
 _Ross: Eww, Dude, No!_  
 _(Monica was making the food for the Christmas eve party they were hosting that evening. Chandler came up and wrapped his arms around her: kissing her neck)_  
 _Chandler: Cara Mia, what are you doing? You just had a baby three days ago._  
 _Monica: Making the food for the Christmas eve party. Mon Cherie._  
 _(He started kissing her as she was making the food)_  
 _Ross: Eww guys...!_  
 _(Phoebe started to play with her guitar. And Luke let out a loud cry from the nursery)_  
 _Chandler: Pheebs, um can you keep that down?(Goes into the nursery and returns a minute later with Luke)_  
 _Chandler(Blows on Baby Luke's tummy): Who's Daddy's little boy._  
 _Karen: Daddy! Daniel hit me._  
 _Chandler: Daniel, get your ass in here!_  
 _Daniel: What?_  
 _Chandler: Did you hit Karen?_  
 _Daniel: Yeah only, because she and Uncle Joey were making fun of me._  
 _Chandler: Oh I don't know what to do with you kids.(Feeds Baby Luke, patting his back)_  
 _Ross: Haha._  
 _Chandler: Shut up Dino Man. You don't know how much trouble me and Mon have raising our kids.(Baby Luke then starts crying for his mom) Cara Mia, Baby Luke wants you._  
 _(Monica picks up Baby Luke, kissing him)_  
 _Monica: How's Mama's handsome little boy?_  
 _(Luke then let out a soft cry)_  
 _Monica: Why won't you stop crying, Baby Boy?(Rocks him)_  
 _Sophie: Mommy, he's so cute! Can I hold him?_  
 _Monica: Yeah just sit down. (Hands the little baby boy to Sophie after she sat down next to her Uncle Ross at the kitchen table)_  
 _Sophie: Hi Luke. I'm your big sister Sophie...I will always have gum._  
 _Rachel: Aww Mon, Sophie already has your love for kids and she's only five._  
 _Monica: I know!(Goes back to cooking the food and Chandler starts to kiss her arm.)_  
 _Joey(Karen's holding on to his leg, not letting go): Woah Mon, she"s freakishly strong...like you. Well I gotta go to the mall and give the fake Santa a piece of my mind._  
 _Chandler: Karry Sweetie, let go of Uncle Joey's legs OK?_  
 _When Sophie, was a few months old, she couldn't say 'Karen' and called her baby sister "Karry' instead. Everyone catched on with it._  
 _Karen: Fine, Daddy!(Let's go of Joey's legs, which caused Joey to fall into the closed door.)_  
 _(Exit Joey)_  
 _Ross: Hi Luke, you look just like your dad who is ugly._  
 _Chandler: Shut up Dino Man. One last time or I'm gonna tell you all the details of me and Monica conceived all of our kids._  
 _Ross: Hey, you got Monica pregnant on Thanksgiving '88. So who's to talk?_  
 _(Both men sat down across from each other at the kitchen; looking mad and sheepish)_  
 _Rachel: Can you guys be grown ups for once?(Placed both hands on Ross's shoulders)_  
 _(Luke started to cry once he got placed in Rachel's arms)_  
 _Ross: Poor Baby Luke._  
 _Chandler: Alright Dino Man, that's it. I'm telling you how I knocked up Monica on Thanksgiving 1988!_  
 _-Thanksgiving 1988-_  
 _Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)_  
 _Chandler: Are you all right?_  
 _Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that—(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe._  
 _[Scene: The hospital, Chandler has been rushed to the emergency room.]_  
 _The Doctor: What do we got here?_  
 _The Paramedic: Nineteen year old has got a severed toe on his right foot._  
 _(They go through the doors into the trauma room, opening them by ramming the gurney through them, only Chandler's foot is hanging off the end and he screams in pain.)_  
 _Ross: Can you please not do that feet first? You know where his injury is! Severed toe, you just said it!_  
 _The Doctor: It says here that the knife went right through your shoe._  
 _Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker._  
 _The Doctor: Did you bring the toe?_  
 _Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)_  
 _Chandler: Toes On Ice! Coming soon to Madison Square Garden._  
 _Ross: Save your strength man!_  
 _The Doctor: (opening it) Don't worry son, we'll just attach it and—(Stops suddenly.)_  
 _Monica: What?! What is it?_  
 _The Doctor: You brought a carrot._  
 _Chandler: What?_  
 _The Doctor: This isn't your toe, this is a small, very cold piece of carrot._  
 _Rachel: You brought a carrot?!_  
 _Mrs. Geller: Oh my God! There's a toe in my kitchen._  
 _Monica: God, I'm sorry! I'll go back and get it!_  
 _The Doctor: It's too late, all we can do now is sow up the wound._  
 _Chandler: Without my toe?! I need my toe!_  
 _Monica: Wait, no-no-no, I can go really fast! Dad, give me the keys to your Porsche!_  
 _Mr. Geller: I'm not falling for that one!_  
 _[Scene: The Geller home. Ross and Rachel are holding Chandler up]_  
 _Ross: You ok Buddy?_  
 _(Chandler shaked his head)_  
 _Rachel: We should bring him up to the guest room. So that he can get his rest._  
 _(Ross and Rachel then carry Chandler upstairs into the guest room)_  
 _12am._  
 _Monica: Hey there Buggerface._  
 _Chander: Hi._  
 _Monica: Listen I came into here to apologize. Not just because Ross and my parents made me, because I really wanted to.(Rests her head on his chest)_  
 _Chandler: I accept. Mon?_  
 _Monica: Ya?"_  
 _Chandler: I wanna hold you in my arms, kiss you and make love to you._  
 _(Pushes his lips up to hers)_  
 _Monica: Bedroom?_  
 _(He nods and they go into her bedroom)_  
 _[SCENE: Monica's bedroom]_  
 _In the bedroom, Chandler started to rip off Monica's pj shirt then played with the clasp of her bra._  
 _He pulled her pj pants down._  
 _They were undressing each other and he forced himself in her._  
 _Chandler: Am I hurting you Mon?_  
 _Chandler knew Monica was still a virgin, he couldn't bring himself to hurt her._  
 _(Imagines Ross' angry face)_  
 _Monica: No no(Started to cry a bit)_  
 _Chandler: Baby just tell me, am I hurting you?_  
 _Monica: I don't care. I need you so badly. I want to have my first time with you._  
 _Chandler: Okay, Mon._  
 _(Makes love to her as gentle and careful as possible)_  
 _Afterwards, Monica lay in Chandlers arms._  
 _Chandler: Did I hurt you Mon?_  
 _Monica: No you were amazing. I love you._  
 _Chandler: I love you too Mon.(Kissed her hand then her lips)_  
 _She looked at her naked body then at his: she can't believe she is a woman now._  
 _They had sex, she gave her flower to him._  
 _The Geller home at AM time._  
 _[SCENE: Monica's bedroom at AM]_  
 _(Monica turned over and saw Chandler in her bed. Then looked at her naked body and back at his)_  
 _Chandler:(Saw who's bed he was in) Oh my god! I slept with Ross' little sister. I took Ross' little sister's virginity._  
 _Monica: Chandler, Chandler calm down._  
 _Chandler: OK. I still can't believe this though._  
 _Monica: Let's get dressed and pretend this have never happened._  
 _(Instantly found her pj shirt and pants. About to put it on)_  
 _Monica: Could you not look?_  
 _Chandler: Maybe, I don't wanna look._  
 _(He found his clothes too finding it: putting it on)_  
 _Chandler: I'm going back into the guest room. Love you._  
 _(Kisses Monica's forehead then going back into the Geller's guest room)_  
 _Monica was staring at the dark bedroom celling, watching the sky light up._  
 _Trying to wish the pain away._  
 _Then fell back asleep and before she knew it; is was morning time._  
 _Ross: Mon, wake-up, it's breakfast time!_  
 _Monica: OK, gimme a second. Will ya?_  
 _(Back to the present day)_  
 _Ross: Eww Dude!(Covers his ears immediately. Groaning in disgust)_  
 _Chandler: Told ya so(Kisses up Monica's arm)_  
 _[SCENE: The Bings and Rachel's apartment. The Christmas eve party is going underway]_  
 _(The door opens. Joey is standing there. His Santa coat is muddy and torn, his hair is disheveled and his face is bruised. Everyone turns to look)_  
 _Monica: Oh my gosh! Joey, honey.. are you okay? Where-where's everyone?_  
 _Joey: Berlin. They missed their flights._

 _Joey: No. Okay. I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman- this blonde planet with a pocketbook- starts yelling at me. Something about how it was her cab first. And then the next thing I know she just starts- starts pulling me out by my hair! So I'm blowing my attack whistle thingy and three more cabs show up, and as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me. The I hit my head on the curb and cut my lip on my whistle... And then all these kids started attacking me. Oh...everybody having fun at the party? (To Monica) Are people eating my dip?_

 _[Sophie's Room. Phoebe and Monica are watching Joey put on make up in the vanity mirror.]_  
 _Joey:. K, that looks ok don't it?_  
 _Phoebe: You…umm…went a little wide on the lip._  
 _Joey: Oh! Right there?_  
 _Phoebe: Yeah._  
 _Joey:It's hard for me to tell. My eye's closing up._  
 _Monica: Let me get it for ya. (pencils in on his lip) Ok._  
 _Joey: All right. (winces in pain)_  
 _Monica: You know what? You look fine._  
 _Joey: Ok here we go! Screw those mischievous kids. Screw that psycho cab lady. It's Christmas Eve. Let's have a good time._  
 _Monica: Yes! Ok. (Phoebe exits)_  
 _Joey: Ok, here we go! (gets up)_  
 _Monica: Ok. All right there you go. (Joey walks the wrong way.) No this way. You're fine. There you go. And change out of this Santa costume._  
 _Joey: OK._  
 _Monica: Well I hear Luke crying. I'm gonna tend to him._  
 _(Exit Monica)_  
 _[SCENE: The nursery where Luke is]_  
 _Monica: Hi, Baby Boy._  
 _(The little baby boy starts to cry when his Mother picks him up)_  
 _Monica: Please don't cry, Baby Boy. It's me- Mommy. See?_  
 _(Luke calms down)_  
 _Monica: Oh my god, you are such a handsome baby boy. You look just like Daddy and Danny, Baby Boy._  
 _ENDING CREDITS._  
 _[SCENE: Mondler's bedroom. They are cuddling]_  
 _Chandler: I love you so much, Mon._  
 _(Starts to kiss her)_  
 _Monica: Oh, I see where this is going. We can't do it for another 5 weeks. The Doctors orders. And doing it with you, got me into this...again._  
 _Chandler: How can I help it when I've got an extremely gorgeous wife?_  
 _Monica: I love you HubbyKins._  
 _(Rested her head on his chest)_

 _-October 1994-_

 _Monica lay in Chandler's arms staring at their dark bedroom celling._

 _Worried about her due date in seven weeks, Chandler woke up kissing her neck._

 _"Hun I was thinking about the one weekend before christmas eve 1988, me and Rachel came to your and Ross' dorm party. We had recently started to date secretly: only Rachel knew and a few days after that I found out we were expecting Sophie" Monica snuggled up close to him._

 _"Oh yeah our before-christmas love" Chandler grinned then proceeded to make love to his pregnant wife again, that night playing vividly in his mind._

 _{December 19, 1988. 7pm. The dorm party at the college in NYU. Let's say Joey goes there too and shared a dorm with the guys}_

 _Chandler made sure nobody was looking; especially Ross then pushed Monica up to a wall._

 _His hands roamed up and down her body as he starts to kiss her hungrily, "Mmm this must be some party goin' on here" Monica let a soft moan out._

 _"Let's go to a bedroom before Ross and everybody see us" Chandler picked her up and carried her into someone's vacant bedroom._

 _In the bedroom, Chandler placed Monica on the bed and started to kiss her._

 _He then moved down her neck with kisses, then started to undress her until she was just in her undies and she undressed him until he was the same level of clad._

 _"Mon you okay doing this here?" Chandler asked, Monica nodded then he positioned himself on her._

 _He pulled down the last of her clothing and she wiggled out of it panting, leaving her completely naked underneath him._

 _"Screw-" Chandler muttered, him and Monica go back to their thing but then they hear the door open and someone gasped._

 _"OMG! Lock the door before you fuck!" Will closed the door._

 _Back to the present day..._

 _"Oh I remember Ross' fat ass friend walked in on us doing it" Chandler grinned._

 _"That was one crazy night" Monica snuggled closer to him._

 _"I love you" he placed soft kiss on her lips._

 _The next morning Joey entered the coffee house and handed Ross a thin white box._

 _"What is this?" Ross asked eyeing the box._

 _"Just open it dude" Joey poked his shoulder._

 _Ross opened it revealing four hockey tickets._

 _"They are for you, me, Chandler and Daniel tonight as your birthday present." Joey told him._

 _Phoebe then woke up, Rachel asked "Pheebs you okay?"_

 _"Yeah but my grandma's got a boyfriend now and they...they keep me up all night" Phoebe explained as Joey handed her a cup of coffee and wrapped his arm around her in a friendly but secretly romantic way._

 _"Me, Rach and the girls decided we'd have a girls night on this evening, y'know before Baby Boy Bing comes in a few weeks" Monica stated then added "So Pheebs you wanna come spend the night with us on tonight?"_

 _"That'll be great" Phoebe replied and fell asleep on Joey's lap._

 _"Hun can you be my servant and get me a muffin?" Monica asked her husband._

 _"Sure thing Babe" Chandler then gave Monica a long romantic kiss before going to the counter._

 _"Eww, Guys! Get a room" Ross exclaimed grossed out._

 _"Oh my they love each other so much" Rachel gushed._

 _(They all get their wallets out and give generous tips.)_

 _Guys: Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel's friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pause to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)_

 _Leslie: (looking around) Rachel?_

 _Rachel: Oh my God! (Rachel, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne all scream and hug each other._

 _Monica: (to Phoebe) I swear I've seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom._

 _Rachel: What are you guys doing here?_

 _Kiki: Well, we were in the city shopping, and your mom said you work here, aaand it's true!_

 _Joanne: Look at you in the apron. You look like you're in a play._

 _Rachel: (to a pregnant Leslie) Look at you, you are so big I can't believe it!_

 _Leslie: I know. I know! I'm a duplex._

 _Rachel: (to Joanne) So what's going on with you?_

 _Joanne: Well, guess who my dad's making partner in his firm? (She points to herself and they all scream again.)_

 _Kiki: And while we're on the subject of news.. (She holds up here finger to show off her engagement ring and they all scream again.)_

 _Phoebe: (to Monica) Look, look, I have elbows! (They scream.)_

 _Rachel: How come all my friends are either pregnant, engaged or getting promoted? And I have none of those things._

 _Monica: Don't worry. You will get those things._

 _Rachel: Oh what are you talking about? You and Chandler have three kids and you are pregnant again. I have none of that stuff(starts to cry)_

 _[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Joey are kicking a can to each other. Daniel is with them too]_

 _Chandler: ...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! (Passes it to Joey.)_

 _Joey: Leetch spots Messier in the crease- there's the pass! (He kicks it to Ross, but Ross is staring into a shop window.)_

 _Chandler: We'll take a brief time out while Messier stops to look at some women's shoes._

 _Ross: Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first- y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took'em off, 'cause we-we- (off Chandler's look) Sorry. Sorry._

 _(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)_

 _Joey: What?_

 _Ross: Peach pit._

 _Chandler: Yes, Bunny?_

 _Ross: (points) Peach pit. That night we, uh- we had-_

 _Joey: -Peaches?_

 _Ross: Actually, nectarines, but basically..._

 _Chandler: (to Joey) Could've been a peach._

 _Ross: Then, uh, then we got dressed, and I-I... I walked her to the- (looks up, realises, and points) -the bus stop... I'm fine._

 _Joey: Hey, that woman's got an ass like Carol's! (They turn to stare at him.) What? Thought we were trying to find stuff._

 _Chandler: Hey enough with the language. We have a young man in here.(Covered Daniel's ears)_

 _Daniel: Daddy I'm fine._

 _[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Lesile, Kiki, and Joanne are talking.]_

 _Rachel: So c'mon, you guys, tell me all the dirt!_

 _Kiki: Well, the biggest news is still you dumping Barry at the altar!_

 _Joanne: Alright. Let's talk reality for a second._

 _Rachel: Okay._

 _Joanne: When are you coming home?_

 _Rachel: What? Guys, I'm not._

 _Joanne: C'mon, this is us._

 _Rachel: I'm not! This is what I'm doing now. I've got this job-_

 _Kiki: Waitressing?_

 _Rachel: Okay I'm not just waitressing. I'm.. I, um... I write the specials on the specials board, and, uh... and I, uh... I take the uh dead flowers out of the vase... Oh, and, um, sometimes Artelle lets me put the little chocolate blobbies on the cookies._

 _Leslie: Well. Your mom didn't tell us about the blobbies._

 _Monica and Phoebe are watching them..._

 _"Oww!" Monica gasped._

 _"Mon you okay?" Phoebe asked._

 _"Ya. Baby Boy Bing's jostling my insides" Monica answers._

 _[Scene: Chandler, Monica, Rachel and the kids. Monica and the girls are in pajamas and Monica is making something in the blender as Rachel enters.]_

 _Monica: Hey, Rach. How was it with your friends? (She and Phoebe scream.) Okay! How would you like some Tiki Death Punch? (She pours the contents of the blender into some glasses.)_

 _Rachel: What's that?_

 _Monica: Weeeell, it's rum, and- but no rum for me.(she pats her large belly)_

 _Rachel: Okay. (Grabs the blender and starts to drink.)_

 _Monica: We thought since Phoebe was staying over tonight we'd have kinda like a slumber party thing. We got some trashy magazines, we got cookie dough, we gotTwister... (The phone rings and Monica answers it.)_

 _Phoebe: Ooh! Ooh! And I brought Operation! But, um, I lost the tweezers, so we can't operate. But we can prep the guy!_

 _Monica: Uh, Rach, it's the Visa card people._

 _Rachel: Oh, God, ask them what they want._

 _Monica: (on phone) Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? (Listens) Yes, hold on. (To Rachel) Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account._

 _Rachel: But I haven't used my card in weeks!_

 _Monica: That is the unusual activity. Look, they just wanna see if you're okay._

 _Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?_

 _Monica: (pauses then on the phone) Uh- Rachel has left the building, can you call back?_

 _Rachel: Alright, c'mon! (Miserably) Let's play Twister!_

 _Sophie: Yay Mommy you have Twister._

 _Phoebe: I brought Operation but I lost the tweezers so we can't operate girls(she told C/M's girls)_

 _Karen: Aww bummer! But I have Candy Land._

 _[Scene: Madison Square Garden, the guys are trying to find their seats.]_

 _Ross: (squeezing past people) Sorry, sorry... Uh-oh._

 _Chandler: What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?_

 _Ross: No, actually I was just saying it looks like we're not sitting together. But now you mention it, there was ice there that night... It was the first frost..._

 _Joey: C'mon, sit. Just sit down, sit._

 _Daniel: I want nachos Daddy._

 _[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, they're all hanging out in the living room.]_

 _Monica: You should feel great about yourself! You're doing this amazing independence thing!_

 _Rachel: Monica, what is so amazing? I gave up, like, everything. And for what?_

 _Phoebe: You are just like Jack._

 _Rachel: ...Jack from downstairs?_

 _Phoebe: No, Jack and the Beanstalk._

 _Monica: Ah, the other Jack._

 _Phoebe: Yeah, right! See, he gave up something, but then he got those magic beans. And then he woke up, and there was this, this big plant outside his window, full of possibilities and stuff.. And he lived in a village, and you live in the Village.._

 _Rachel: Okay, but Pheebs, Pheebs, Jack gave up a cow, I gave up an orthodontist. Okay, I-I-I know, I know I didn't love him-_

 _Phoebe: Oh, see, Jack did love the cow._

 _Rachel: But see, it was a plan. Y'know, it was clear. It was figured out, and now everything's just kinda like..._

 _Phoebe: Floopy?_

 _Rachel: Yeah._

 _Monica: So what, you're not the only one. I mean, half the time we don't know where we're going. You've just gotta figure at some point it's all gonna come together, and it's just gonna be... un-floopy._

 _Phoebe: Oh, like that's a word._

 _Rachel: Okay, but Monica, what if- what if it doesn't come together?_

 _Monica: ...Pheebs?_

 _Phoebe: Oh, well... 'cause... you just... I don't like this question._

 _Rachel: Okay, see, see, you guys, what if we don't get magic beans? I mean, what if all we've got are.. beans?_

 _[Scene: Madison Square Garden, the guys are watching the game.]_

 _Ross: Get him! GET HIM! Get him! Get- YESSS! Not laughing now, are ya pal!_

 _Chandler: (to Ross) See buddy, that's all you need, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks._

 _Ross: Pass it! Pass it!_

 _Chandler: He's open!_

 _All: Shoot! Shoot! Shoot!_

 _(The player shoots and the puck flies off the rink and hits Ross in the face. Chandler looks concered until he notices...)_

 _Chandler: Hey, look, we're on that TV thing!_

 _(Chandler and Joey hold the puck and wave at the TV thing.)_

 _[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]_

 _Chandler: (to the receptionist)'Scuse me._

 _Receptionist: (holds up her hand—she is on the phone) It says to call this number if you're not completely satisfied with this candy bar. Well, I'm not completely satisfied._

 _Chandler: Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room. (The receptionist glares at him.)_

 _Receptionist: (on phone) Hold on. (To Chandler) Fill these out, sit over there. (Tosses him some forms.)_

 _Ross: (jumping to his feet) Look, I don't wanna make any trouble, okay, but I'm in a lot of pain here, alright? My face is dented._

 _Receptionist: Well, you'll have to wait your turn._

 _Joey: Well, how long do you think it'll be?_

 _Receptionist: (sarcastic) Any minute now._

 _Ross: Hey, this- (she gives him a look and the guys back off) Heyy..._

 _[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the slumber party continues.]_

 _Rachel: I'm so sorry, you guys. I didn't mean to bring you down._

 _Monica: No, you were right. I don't have a plan. (There's a knock on the door.)_

 _Pizza Guy: (yelling from outside) Pizza guy!_

 _Rachel: Thank God. Food. (She goes to answer the door.)_

 _Monica: Phoebe?_

 _Phoebe: What?_

 _Monica: Do you have a plan?_

 _Phoebe: I don't even have a 'pl'._

 _Pizza Guy: Hi, one, uh, mushroom, green pepper and onion?_

 _Rachel: (miserably) No, no, that's not what we ordered... We ordered a fat-free crust with extra cheese._

 _Pizza Guy: Wait, you're not ' ?' Man, my dad's gonna kill me!_

 _Monica: (walking off of the couch and waddles up) Wait! Did you say ' ?'_

 _Pizza Guy: Yeah. This one goes across the street, I must have given him yours. Oh, bonehead, bonehead!_

 _Monica: Wait, was this a-a small mediterranean guy with curiously intelligent good looks?_

 _Pizza Guy: Yeah, that sounds about right._

 _Monica: Was he wearing a stunning blue suit?_

 _Phoebe: And-and a power tie?_

 _Pizza Guy: No, pretty much just a towel._

 _Monica: (staggered) Oh God._

 _Pizza Guy: So you guys want me to take this back?_

 _Monica: Are you nuts?! We've got George Stephanopoulos' pizza! (Rachel pays him, Monica grabs some binoculars, and runs to the window.)_

 _Rachel: Uh, Pheebs? Who's George Snuffalopagus?_

 _Phoebe: Big Bird's friend._

 _Monica: I see pizza!_

 _Phoebe: Oh, I wanna see! Lemme see! Lemme see! (She runs up and takes the binoculars.)_

 _Rachel: Hello? Who are we spying on?_

 _Monica: White House adviser? Clinton's campaign guy? The one with the great hair, sexy smile, really cute butt?_

 _Phoebe: Mon don't you remember you are pregnant and married to Chandler?"_

 _Monica(looks at her wedding ring then back at her and Chandler's daughtersl_

 _Rachel: Oh, him, the little guy? Oh, I love him!_

 _Phoebe: Ooh, wait.. wait, I see a woman._

 _Monica: Please tell me it's his mother._

 _Phoebe: Definitely not his mother._

 _Monica: Oh, no..._

 _Phoebe: Oh, wait, she's walking across the floor.. she's walking.. she's walking.. she's going for the pizza- (Yelling) Hey, that's not for you, bitch! (Phoebe covers her mouth with her hand)_

 _[Scene: The Emergency Room, Joey is miming hockey pucks kitting foreheads. Chandler realises it's getting tense and goes to the receptionist again.]_

 _Chandler: Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? (She slides the gladd panel over and Chandler talks through it in a loud voice.) Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. (To the waiting room.) Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. (She slides the panel back, he turns, and it takes him by surprise.) Ba-!_

 _Daniel: Daddy!_

 _Scene: The Bings and Rachel's, the girls are all out on the balcony.]_

 _Sophie: Mommy?_

 _Monica: Yeah, Girly girl?_

 _Sophie: I have a crush on Kermit the frog._

 _Phoebe(laughing): And I had a crush on Elmo._

 _Karen: I like Joey._

 _(Phoebe looked at Karen angrily, when she said she liked the same Joey Pheebs had a crush on)_

 _Rachel: Aww that's so cute!_

 _Monica: Sweetie you are only four. But I think it's so cute you like him._

 _(Phoebe breathed a sign of relief)_

 _[Scene: The Emergency Room, Ross is still going on about his first night with Carol. C/M's son Daniel watches the news]_

 _Ross: I remember the moonlight coming through the window- and her face had the most incredible glow._

 _Chandler: Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part- Could I get some painkillers over here, please?_

 _Joey: He's right, enough, already. What is the big deal about today? So you slept with her for the first time, so what? You slept with her for seven years after that._

 _Ross: Look, it's just a little more complicated..._

 _Chandler: Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?_

 _Ross: Little louder, okay, I think there's a man on the twelfth floor in a coma that didn't quite hear you..._

 _Chandler: Then what?_

 _Ross: My first time with Carol was... (He mumbles the last part)_

 _Joey: What?_

 _Ross: It was my first time._

 _Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh._

 _Chandler: So in your whole life, you've only been with one—(He gets a look too)—oh._

 _Joey: Whoah, boy, hockey was a big mistake! There was a whole bunch of stuff we could've done tonight!_

 _[A few minutes later. Scene: The Emergency Room, Ross is absent.]_

 _Joey: Man. Can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?_

 _Chandler: I think it's great. Y'know, it's sweet, it's romantic..._

 _Joey: Really?_

 _Chandler: No, you kidding? The guy's a freak.. (Ross enters off camera)_

 _Both: Hey, buddy._

 _Ross: Hi. (He is wearing a piece of steel bandaged to his nose. He tosses some forms onto reception desk.)_

 _Receptionist: (sarcastic) Oh, that's attractive._

 _Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight._

 _Ross: Fun? Where was the fun? Tell me specifically, which part was the fun part? Where's my puck?_

 _Joey: Oh, ah- the kid has it._

 _Ross: The kid...? (To the kid) Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck._

 _Kid: I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers. (Ross looks at Chandler for help.)_

 _Chandler: You gotta do it, man._

 _Ross: (to the kid) Oh yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever—(to Chandler)—can't do it. (to the kid) Listen, uh- gimme back my puck._

 _Kid: No._

 _Ross: 'Yes', how about. C'mere. Gimme!_

 _Kid: No! No! (They start to fight over it.)_

 _Receptionist: Hey! Hey! No rough holding in my ER!_

 _Ross: (tries to snatch it from the kid) GIVE ME MY PUCK! (but it files out of his grasp and knocks out the receptionist)_

 _Ross: ...Now that was fun._

 _[Scene: The Bings and Rachel's, Joey and the girls are playing twister.]_

 _Ross: (Doing the spinning) Okay, Monica: Right foot red._

 _Monica: Could've played Monopoly, but nooooo._

 _(There's a knock on the door, Chandler opens it, and silently hands back the cushion.)_

 _Chandler: Thanks. (The guy nods and leaves)_

 _Ross: Okay, Pheebs: Right hand blue. (Phoebe has to bend over.)Good. (Joey stares at her butt appreciatively)_

 _(The phone rings and Chandler answers it.)_

 _Chandler: Hello? Oh, uh, Rachel, it's the Visa card people._

 _Rachel: Oh, okay. Will you take my place?_

 _Chandler: Alright. (on phone) Yes, this is Rachel._

 _Rachel: Nooo! (She grabs the phone and Chandler takes her place on the mat.) (On phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, yeah, no, I know, I-I haven't been using it much. (Listens) Oh, well, thanks, but, I'm okay, really._

 _Ross: Green. To the green._

 _Rachel: (on phone) I've got magic beans. (Listens) Never-never mind._

 _Chandler: To the left, to the left- aww! (They all collapse)_

 _Rachel: (on phone) Ohhh... I'm fine._

 _Chandler: Babe what are you doing? You are almost eigth months pregnant(and pulls up his wife who is on her toes playing Twister.)_

 _Monica: Hun we are fine._

 _Chandler: I just wanted to make sure you two were okay.(Kissed up her arm then her large belly)_

 _The gang is watching Joey's act of 'Freud!' right now and C/M's kids are with her parents._

 _(The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.)_

 _ **Joey:** Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)_

 _All you want is a dingle,  
What you envy's a schwang,  
A thing through which you can tinkle,  
_

 _Or play with, or simply let hang..._

 _Afterwards Joey asks "So how did you guys think of it?"_

 _"I must say Joe...it was quite interesting" Rachel responded sarcasitally._

 _"Did you and the baby like it Mon?" Joey questions his pregnant friend._

 _"If you say Baby Boy Bing kicking me in the ribs like crazy; well then yes" Monica answers looking at a playboy._

 _"Hi Baby Boy are you hurting Mommy? If so please don't, we love you so much" Chandler asks the baby._

 _"Aww I love you two as a couple and your kids are so cute" Phoebe gushes._

 _"Gotta love Mondler" Ross invents a couple name for the five year married couple._

 _Back at the coffee house that evening, the six friends are relaxing on the orange couch- still in their fancy clothes._

 _Joey gets off the phone and wraps his arm around Phoebe(they both have mutal crushes on each other)._

 _"So what'd they say?" Ross asks._

 _"Estelle was a bitch at first but then she got me a job as Al Pachino's...butt double!" Joey says the last part enthusiastically._

 _"Wha- you got a job as Al Pachino's second ass?" Rachel is in disbelief._

 _"This is the first time I've ever seen Joey get the part of someones second ass" Chandler made a quip as his hand is on Monica's large baby bump._

 _Everybody says that Monica is so big she's gonna pop any second from now._

 _"Okay let's stop talking about asses now!" Monica shuts them all up and then her cell starts ringing._

 _She looks at it and says to her husband of five years, "Hun look my mom sent a pic of the kids sleeping. We should just let them stay there for the night"_

 _That evening in C/M's bedroom, Chandler closes the door and sighs to find Monica on their bed waiting for him. She looking even more beautiful and radiant while pregnant with their forth child and second son._

 _She wraps her arms around him and then they melt in a heated kiss._

 _"We are alone, no kids this evening and Rachel is out with the others...I guess we can" Chandler starts breaking the kiss._

 _"No time for that" Monica cuts him off by unbuttoning his shirt._

 _"Mon you wanna do this right now. I don't wanna hurt you and Baby Boy Bing" he asks unzipping her dress._

 _"Positive. Now make love to me" She smiled as he slids on her gently removing her clothing and they start making out._

 _The morning after Monica lay in Chandler's arms watching him sleep so soundly._

 _He woke up kissing her saying "Cara Mia", "I love you so much. Make love to me again" she responds._

 _"As you wish" he grinned and starts to kiss her neck sliding his hand up her back. Then starts to make love to her again._

 _Three hours later Joey is in the apartment rummaging in the fridge for food._

 _C/M come out of the bedroom and ask "Joey what the hell are you doing?"._

 _"JOEY WANT FOOD" Joey bit into a cheese doodle going all into Monica's face and orange specks flying onto her embarrassing maternity gown._

 _"Hey Macho man take it easy there" Monica does the middle finger with her wedding ring on._

 _"Dude why the hell are you freaking doing in our kitchen right now" Chandler longs for an answer._

 _"I get nervous when I have to go to an audition that day so I eat" Joey chewed a slice of pizza._

 _"Oh my Joe you are gonna get the part" they hug him._

 _"Really" Joey asks._

 _"Yeah you just need to get a job where you are Tom Cruse's third ass the next time" Chandler retored._

 _Joey gives him the finger._

 _The next evening..._

 _[Scene: The Bings and Rachel's, Rachel is there as enter except Joey enter.]_

 _ **Rachel:** Tah-daaah!_

 _ **Chandler:** Are we greeting each other this way now? 'Cause I like that._

 _ **Rachel:** Look! I cleaned! I did the windows, I did the floors... I even used all the attachments on the vacuum, except that little round one with the bristles, I don't know what that's for._

 _ **Ross:** Oh yeah, nobody knows. And we're not supposed to ask._

 _ **Rachel:** Well, whaddya think?_

 _ **All:** Very clean! It looks great! Terrific!_

 _ **Monica:** ...Oh! I-I see you moved the green ottoman._

 _ **All:** Uh-oh..._

 _ **Monica:** How-how did that happen?_

 _ **Rachel:** I dunno.. I-I thought it looked better there. And I- and also, it's an extra seat around the coffee table._

 _ **Monica:** Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.. but y'know what? Just for fun, let's see what it looked like in the old spot. (She moves it.) Alright, just to compare. Let's see. Well, it looks good there too. Let's just leave it there for a while._

 _ **Phoebe:** (to Rachel) I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman._

 _ **Chandler:** Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out._

 _ **Monica:** You guys, I am not that bad!_

 _ **Phoebe:** Yeah, you are, Monica. Remember when I lived with you? You were like, a little, y'know, (psycho) Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!_

 _ **Monica:** That is so unfair!_

 _ **Ross:** Oh c'mon! When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy!_

 _ **Monica:** Okay, so I'm responsible, I'm organized. But hey, I can be a kook._

 _ **Ross:** Alright, you madcap gal. Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away._

 _ **Monica:** Why not?_

 _ **Ross:** Because you're a kook! Instead you wait until they send you a notice._

 _ **Monica:** I could do that._

 _ **Rachel:** Okay, uh, you let me go grocery shopping…_

 _ **Monica:** (interrupts) No problem!_

 _ **Rachel:** I'm not done yet! And I buy laundry detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout._

 _ **Monica:** Why would someone do that?! ...One might wonder. K, I would be fine with that._

 _ **Chandler:** Someone's left a glass on the coffee table. There's no coaster. It's a cold drink, it's a hot day. Little beads of condensation are inching their way closer and closer to the surface of the wood..._

 _ **Monica:** STOP IT! ...Oh my God. It's true! Who am I?_

 _ **Ross:** Monica? You're Mom._

 _(Monica gasps.)_

 _ **Phoebe:** Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!_

 _ **Chandler:** And Mon our kids have your drive to be the best at everything already. I'm sure Baby Boy Bing will too.(Rubs her large belly and winking at her seductively)_

 _ **Monica:** Can't help but agree with that one and especially after amazing nights of sex I have with my husband(she runs her hand up his chest)_

 _ **Rachel:** Mon!_

 _ **Ross** : Yeah Mon we don't need to hear about your and Chandler's sex life._

 _ **Monica** : Shut up Ross! You are only saying that because you never had a marriage like mine and Chandler's with Carol._

 _ **Ross** : Hey! It's not my fault Carol was a lesbian._

 _Joey then enters back from the balcony..._

 _ **Phoebe:** How'd it go **?**_

 _ **Joey:** That was Estelle. She said I didn't get the part._

 _Ross: Why Joe? You were great at it._

 _Joey then starts to tell them about what happened at the audition..._

 _ **[Scene: A Film Set, Joey is waiting to do the scene. A crew member passes by him.]**_

 _ **Joey: Could you see if they could warm it up in here? I'm a little concerned about goose bumps.**_

 _ **Director: Okay, everybody ready?**_

 _ **Joey: (enters the shower) Uh, listen, I just wanna thank you for this great opportunity. Look I mean, listen, I know this is just a first step but I hope this…**_

 _ **Director: (interrupts) Lose the robe.**_

 _ **Joey: Me?**_

 _ **Director: That would work.**_

 _ **Joey: Right. Okay. Losing the robe. (He takes off the robe.) And the robe is lost.**_

 _ **Director: Okay, everybody, we'd like to get this in one take, please. Let's roll it.. water's working (The shower starts).. and... action.**_

 _ **(Joey starts to the shower with a grim, determined look on his face.)**_

 _ **Director: And cut. Hey, Butt Guy, what the hell are you doing?**_

 _ **Joey: Well, I'm- I'm showering.**_

 _ **Director: No, that was clenching.**_

 _ **Joey: Oh. Well, the way I see it, the guy's upset here, y'know? I mean, his wife's dead, his brother's missing... I think his butt would be angry here.**_

 _ **Director: I think his butt would like to get this shot before lunch. Once again, rolling... water working... and action...and cut. What was that?**_

 _ **Joey: I was going for quiet desperation. But if you have to ask.**._

 _Back to the present day..._

 _"You should looking for an audition for Tom Cruise's third ass" Chandler suggested._

 _"Shut up" Joey gave him a death glare._

 _ **[** Scene: C/M's Bedroom, she's lying in bed wide awake.]_

 _ **Monica:** (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)_

 _ **Monica:** Baby Boy Bing's a kicker. The kids were pretty active when they were still in me. Chandler's a pretty active guy so no kidding they are super active. I can't sleep, with him kicking my ribcage!_

 _-November 1994._

 _Monica is sitting in Central Perk with her kids._  
 _Rachel: Everybody? Shh, shhh. Uhhh... Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay._  
 _(applause)_  
 _Phoebe: Hi. Um, I want to start with a song thats about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is all about. OK, here we go. (plays a chord, then the lights go out) OK, thank you very much._  
 _[Scene: The ATM vestibule of a bank, Chandler is inside. The lights go out, and he realizes he is trapped inside.]_  
 _Chandler: Oh, great. This is just..._  
 _(Chandler sees that there is a gorgeous model inside the vestibule with him. He makes a gesture of quiet exuberance.)_  
 _Opening Credits_  
 _[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross are there.]_  
 _Rachel: Wow, this is so cool, you guys. The entire city is blacked out!_  
 _Monica: Mom says it's all of Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn and Queens, and they have no idea when it's coming back on. Luckily the I just put the kids down_  
 _Rachel: Wow, you guys, this is big._  
 _Phoebe: Can I borrow the phone? I want to call my apartment and check on my grandma. (to Monica) What's my number?_  
 _(Monica and Rachel look at Phoebe strangely.)_  
 _Phoebe: Well, I never call me._  
 _[Scene: ATM vestibule, Jill Goodacre is on the cellular phone. Chandler's thoughts are in italics.]_  
 _Chandler: Oh my God, it's her..that Victoria's Secret model. Something... something Goodacre._  
 _Jill: (on phone) Hi Mom, it's Jill._  
 _Chandler: She's right, it's Jill. Jill Goodacre. Oh my God. I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (pause) Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an atrium. Oh, yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot!_  
 _Jill: (on phone) Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just stuck at the bank, in an ATM vestibule._  
 _Chandler: Jill says vestibule... I'm going with vestibule._  
 _Jill: (on phone) I'm fine. No, I'm not alone... I don't know, some guy._  
 _Chandler: Oh! Some guy. Some guy. 'Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night. Yes, he was some guy. Monica is going to kill me._  
 _(Chandler strides proudly, then shudders at the thought of angry Monica across the vestibule and Jill stares at him.)_  
 _[Scene: Monica's apartment, Joey enters with a menorah, the candles lit.]_  
 _Joey: Hi everyone._  
 _Ross: And officiating at tonight's blackout, is Rabbi Tribbiani._  
 _Monica: Sophie loves Hannukah. If she saw this we would have to buy her presents._  
 _Phoebe: (at window) Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles._  
 _(They all look at the window, grossed out, then flinch in pain.)_  
 _Rachel: That had to hurt!_  
 _[Scene: ATM vestibule.]_  
 _Chandler: Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!_  
 _(Chandler smiles at her, she smiles back sweetly.)_  
 _Chandler: There you go!_  
 _(He continues to smile like an idiot, and she looks frightened.)_  
 _Chandler: You're definitely scaring her. And you're married what is wrong with me?_  
 _(Jill's phone rings and she answers it)_  
 _Jill: Hello. Oh, hi, Mom. (listens) Mom, Mom, you're tripping. Dexter's a dog. The blackout is scaring him. You'd pee in dad's shoes too if you didn't know what was going on. All right call me back. (Hangs up) (To Chandler) Mothers!_  
 _Chandler: Yeah! That a boy, a word. That wasn't so hard. "Mothers", "Yeah" "Mothers", "Yeah". Work it. (Smiles again at Jill) Don't smile!_  
 _Jill: (awkwardly) Would you like to call somebody? (offering phone)_  
 _Chandler: Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with. Yeah, thanks. (takes phone)_  
 _[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The phone rings; it's Chandler.]_  
 _Monica: Hello?_  
 _Chandler: Hey, it's me._  
 _Monica: Hi Honey, Are you OK?_  
 _Chandler: Yeah, I'm fine. How are you? (trying to cover up what he is saying) I'm trppd in an ATM vstbl wth Jll Gdcr._  
 _Monica: I'm fine the kids are asleep everyone is at our place. What?_  
 _Chandler: I'm trppd... in an ATM vstbl... wth Jll Gdcr!_  
 _Monica: I have no idea what you just said._  
 _Chandler: (angry) Put Joey on the phone._  
 _Joey: What's up man?_  
 _Chandler: I'm trppd... in an ATM vstbl... wth JLL GDCR._  
 _Joey: (to everyone) Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (on phone)_  
 _Monica: He better not let anything happen with her_  
 _Joey: Chandler, listen. (says something intentionally garbled)_  
 _Chandler: Yeah, like that thought never entered my mind._  
 _(Monica takes the phone back)_  
 _Monica: I am here with your three children and walking around with your fourth. If ANYTHING happens you are a dead man._  
 _Chandler: Ma'am yes ma'am._

 _[Scene: The Bings and Rachel's, time has passed. The five are sitting around the coffee table talking.]_  
 _Rachel: Alright, somebody._  
 _Monica: OK, I'll go. OK, senior year of college... on a pool table. With chandler._  
 _All: Whoooaa!_  
 _Ross: That's my sister. And my best friend_  
 _Joey: OK... my weirdest place would have to be... the women's room on the second floor of the New York City public library._  
 _Monica: Oh my God! What were you doing in a library?_  
 _Ross: Pheebs, what about you?_  
 _Phoebe: Oh... Milwaukee._  
 _Rachel: Um... Ross?_  
 _Ross: Disneyland, 1989, 'It's a Small World After All.'_  
 _All: No way!_  
 _Ross: The ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children... then they fixed the ride, and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom._  
 _Phoebe: Oh, Rachel._  
 _Rachel: Oh come on, I already went._  
 _Monica: You did not go!_  
 _All: Come on._  
 _Rachel: Oh, alright. The weirdest place would have to be... (sigh)... oh, the foot of the bed._  
 _Ross: Step back._  
 _Joey: We have a winner!_  
 _[Cuts over to Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]_  
 _Rachel: I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where you have to have somebody right there, in the middle of a theme park._  
 _Ross: Well, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line._  
 _Rachel: There, well, see? Barry wouldn't even kiss me on a miniature golf course._  
 _Ross: Come on._  
 _Rachel: No, he said we were holding up the people behind us._  
 _Ross: (sarcastically) And you didn't marry him because...?_  
 _Rachel: I mean, do you think there are people who go through life never having that kind of..._  
 _Ross: Probably._  
 _Rachel: Really?_  
 _Ross: But you know, I'll tell you something. Passion is way overrated._  
 _Rachel: Yeah right._  
 _Ross: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff._  
 _Rachel: (sigh) OK._  
 _Ross: But, um... I don't think that's going to be you._  
 _Rachel: You don't._  
 _Ross: Uh-uh. See, I see... big passion in your future._  
 _Rachel: Really?_  
 _Ross: Mmmm._  
 _Rachel: You do?_  
 _Ross: I do._  
 _Rachel: Oh Ross, you're so great. (she playfully rubs his head and gets up)_  
 _(Ross gets up, pleased with himself.)_  
 _Joey: It's never gonna happen._  
 _Ross: (innocently) What?_  
 _Joey: You and Rachel._  
 _Ross: (acts surprised) What? (pause) Why not?_  
 _Joey: Because you waited too long to make your move, and now you're in the friend zone._  
 _Ross: No, no, no. I'm not in the zone._  
 _Joey: Ross, you're mayor of the zone._  
 _Ross: I'm taking my time, alright? I'm laying the groundwork. Yeah. I mean, every day I get just a little bit closer to..._  
 _Joey: Priesthood! Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking._  
 _Joey: if you don't ask her out soon you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever._  
 _Ross: I will, I will. See, I'm waiting for the right moment. (Joey looks at him) What? What, now?_  
 _Joey: Yeeeeaaaahhh! What's messing you up? The wine? The candles? The moonlight? You've just got to go up to her and say, 'Rachel, I think that...' (Rachel comes into the room behind them) If Chandler could get Mon, you can get rach no problem_  
 _Ross: Shhhh!_  
 _Rachel: What are you shushing?_  
 _Ross: We're shushing... because... we're trying to hear something. Listen. (everyone is silent) Don't you hear that?_  
 _Rachel: Ahhhh!_  
 _Ross: See?_  
 _Rachel: Huh. (she agrees, but looks very confused)_  
 _[Scene: ATM vestibule.]_  
 _Jill: Would you like some gum?_  
 _Chandler: Um, is it sugarless?_  
 _Jill: (checks) Sorry, it's not._  
 _Chandler: Oh, then no thanks. That was for you Monica._

 _[Scene: Monica's apartment, Phoebe is singing.]_  
 _Phoebe: (singing) New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy... la la la, la la, la la... (she writes the lyrics down)_  
 _Ross: (to Joey) OK, here goes._  
 _Joey: Are you going to do it?_  
 _Ross: I'm going to do it._  
 _Joey: Do you want any help?_  
 _Ross: You come out there, you're a dead man._  
 _Joey: Good luck, man._  
 _Ross: Thanks. (Joey hugs him) OK._  
 _Joey: OK. (Ross goes out on the balcony to talk to Rachel)_  
 _(Monica walks in, starts to go out on the balcony.)_  
 _Joey: Hey, where are you going?_  
 _Monica: Outside._  
 _Joey: You can't go out there._  
 _Monica: Why not?_  
 _Joey: Because of... the reason._  
 _Monica: And that would be?_  
 _Joey: I, um, can't tell you._  
 _Monica: Joey, what's going on?_  
 _Joey: OK, you've got to promise that you'll never, ever tell Ross that I told you._  
 _Monica: About what?_  
 _Joey: He's planning your baby shower._  
 _Monica: Oh my God! That's so sweet_  
 _Ross: Wha-What did he say that was so funny?_  
 _[Scene: ATM vestibule, Chandler and Jill are sitting below the counter with two pens dangling from their chains in front of them. Jill is showing Chandler how to swing the pen around his head.]_  
 _Jill: Chandler, we've been here for an hour doing this! Now watch, it's easy._  
 _Chandler: OK._  
 _Jill: Ready? (she swings the pen around her head in a circle)_  
 _(Chandler tries to do the same thing but the pen hits him in the head.)_  
 _Jill: No, you've got to whip it._  
 _(He swings the pen hard, and it snaps back and almost hits him again.)_  
 _[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all sitting around the table.]_  
 _Phoebe: Oh, look look look. The last candle's about to burn out. 10, 9, 8, 7... (time lapse)... minus 46, minus 47, minus 48... (someone blows it out, the room gets completely dark)_  
 _Ross: Thank you._  
 _Phoebe: Thanks._  
 _Ross: Kinda... spooky without any lights._  
 _Joey: (does a maniacal laugh) Bwah-hah-hah!_  
 _(Everyone starts to imitate him.)_  
 _Ross: OK, guys, guys? I have the definitive one. Mwwwooooo-hah-hah..._  
 _Joey: Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a baby shower_  
 _Closing Credits_  
 _[Scene: ATM vestibule, the power has come back on.]_  
 _Jill: Well, this has been fun._  
 _Chandler: Yes. Yes, thanks for letting me use your phone_  
 _Jill: Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. (she kisses him on the cheek) See ya._  
 _(She leaves. Chandler presses his face to the glass door after her, stroking the window lovingly. He then turns to the security camera and starts talking to it.)_  
 _Chandler: Hi, um, I'm account number 7143457. And, uh, I don't know if you got any of that, but I would really like a copy of the tape. And then I need to hide it so my wife does not see._

 _-September 1994-_

 _The next week Daniel is seen putting Seran wrap on the toliet seat. Then he finishes and replaces the sugar with salt,_

 _"Quick Dan! Mom and Dad are waking up now!" Sophie and Karen(her name's now Karen not Catherine) shout out. C/M then come into the kitchen with their fingers intertwined._

 _"Hi kiddies" Chandler says with his eyes never leaving his young wife's face(she's 25 and he 26)_

 _"Hi Baby I hope you are a girl. A nicer sister then Karen who is mean and Daniel who is a big poop explosion in his own way" Sophie says to the baby._

 _"Hey no I'm nice. You are mean" Karen replies annoyed._

 _"I'm not a big poop explosion right Baby" Daniel asks Monica's bump._

 _Chandler and Monica look at each other and laugh._

 _An hour later Rachel is out of the new addition in their apartment, and the rest of the gang is over._

 _With their growing family, a few months ago C/M decided to add three more rooms to the apartment, which Rachel now lives in on of the rooms._

 _Joey exclaims "Ooh coffee" then pours a cup and pours sugar in it._

 _Joey then spits out his coffee and screams "HEY, I SAID NO SALT!"_

 _The kids then get angry stares from their parents and shrug saying "Not us"_

 _But then Rachel sits on the couch and a "TOOT" can be heard very louy._

 _Ross answers "Gotta use the bathroom so badly" and runs into there where a crash can be heard._

 _Ross then comes out asking "Who did this" holding up the saran wrap._

 _Monica then runs in the bathroom "I'll clean the pee up" but then Chandler held her back saying "Babe you are six months pregnant. We got that"._

 _That afternoon at the museum Ross is dusting a fossii when his co-worker says to him "Mr. Geller your ex-wife is here to see you". Ross' eyes practically came out of his eyes when Carol told him she was having their child and raising it with Susan._

 _An hour later C/M enter the apartment with the kids to see Rachel, Phoebe and Joey on their hands and knees with the couch cusions out._

 _"What the hell are you three doin'?" Chandler questions them and tells the kids to watch TV in one of the new additions._

 _"Rach's lost her engagement ring to Barry" Phoebe explains._

 _"Oh my I have a ring in my couch?" Monica asks then says, "No Rachel it's in the lasgana. I gave you one simple task". She tries to look in the dish from a distance. Ross then enters saying "Hi" in a horrifed way, and adds "Carol's pregnant with my child and is raising it with Susan"._

 _That evening they're are all eating spagetti talking about old times._

 _"See Judy our little harmonica is independent. She got pregnant by Chandler and then they got married five years ago" Jack states eating the rest of his food._

 _"Ross I know this may seem a little cruel but can you please let out your whole baby-lesbian thing. Baby Bing's jostling my insides and that leaves off steam" Monica asks her brother, Ross announces "Mom, dad Uh Carol's a lesbian so we broke up and now she's having my child". Judy looks at Monica annoyed and asked "You knew about this", the minute she said that Monica ran into her and Chandler's bedroom crying. Chandler runs into there saying "Oh Baby. I can't believe I made you stay in a room with your mother" he hugs his pregnant wife so dearly then slides his hand up her white blouse ._

 _Back in there Daniel gives his grandparents nasty jelly beans. Jack ate a dark brown one then gagged asking "Why do they make dog crap flavored ones", Judy ate a very dark green one which is presumably a mint one or smelly garbage(it was smelly garbage). A little bit later Joey, Sophie and Karen ate the whole pack._

 _That evening we see Daniel scrubbing the toilet as punishment for pranking everybody.-October 1994-_

 _It was afternoon time, the kids were still at school._

 _Chandler enters the apartment to see Monica jugging a bowl of cereal on her large belly._

 _"Eating for two?" he joked giving her a kiss._

 _"I'm gigantic and my legs are too swollen" Monica complained._

 _"Aww Baby. I'm so sorry, I love you" Chandler kissed her lips and her ever-growing belly. Where their fourth child and second son was kept for the remander of the pregnancy which is eighth weeks._

 _"You don't know what it's like to be a seventh month pregnant woman" she looked angrily at him._

 _"Well hun I was thinking we could go to a romantic dinner Friday evening. My mom said she'd watch the kids and I've already booked it" Chandler loosed his tie_

 _"I love you" Monica wrapped her arms around him._

 _Back at Joey's apartment, he and Phoebe were talking about their love life._

 _"Hey Pheebs y'know what?" he asked as an idea popped in his head._

 _"Yeah?" she asked._

 _"I think we should set up blind dates for each other on friday night" Joey suggests._

 _"Ooh great! I already thought of the perfect girl for ya" Phoebe replied enthusically._

 _Then said "Poopy Diaper Poop"._

 _"Poopy Diaper. Ha ha" Joey laughed._

 _"Um that rules out Tit Tat as well" Phoebe looked at the man she loved._

 _"Oh em gi Tit Tat" Joey chuckled._

 _At the coffee house, Ross N Rachel were talking as she was serving coffee._

 _"So Rach what're you doin' Friday evening?" Ross asked._

 _"Laundrama. Monica was supposed to come with me but she just called saying that her and Chandler are going to a romantic dinner Friday evening" Rachel explained._

 _"Oh really. Who's gonna watch the kids?" Ross asked._

 _"They said Nora" Rachel replied._

 _"I love that they love each other so much but I never really approved of the weird stuff Chandler does with my sister in bed. It's like Rambo" Ross groaned._

 _"Well so do you wanna go to do lawndray with me that evening" Rachel asked running her hands up Ross' chest winking at him seductively. They both have crushes on each other_

 _"You bet your hot mama I do!" Ross grinned._

 _That evening after their love making Chandler was on the balcony looking at the night sky. Monica waddled with the shawl tightly wrapped around her._

 _"What's wrong hun. You left me?" she stroked her husband's cheek looking at him dearly._

 _"I was having some thoughts. Remember the night you cut off my toe six years ago, the night we made Sophie?" Chandler places a hand on her huge belly._

 _"Oh yeah I remember. We were so young and stupid "Monica smirked._

 _Then they both leaned on the balcony thinking about the day that changed both their lives for good._

 _{November 25, 1988. The Geller home. 12am}_

 _(AUTHORS NOTE: You can read that earlier in the chapter)_

 _Back to the present day..._

 _"That was the most beautiful night in my life. Despite getting my toe cut off" Chandler smirked and held his wife._

 _"Make love to me again" Monica said._

 _"As you wish" Chandler grinned then took her back into the bedroom but careful not to wake Rachel and the kids up._

 _Friday afternoon where Joey is eating chinese in his apartment.._

 _Phoebe enters and beamed "Joey I've got the most perfect girl for you. Her name is Alex Garrett"_

 _Joey said "Wow" sarcastically._

 _"Who do you have for me. What's his name?" Phoebe asked._

 _"Uh Mike. His name is Mike!" Joey lied._

 _"Okay great thanks" Phoebe took an egg roll then went to Mondler and Rachel's apartment._

 _Joey grabbed a black book out of one of the draws and started reading "Mike..Mike"._

 _Then groaned in frustration "There's no guys in here."_

 _At the laundromat, an old woman starts using Rachel's machine..._

 _(I'm gonna use script form for the parts copied over from Lives in a box)_

 _ **Woman:** Comin' through. Move, move._

 _ **Rachel:** Oh, 'scuse me. I was kinda using that machine._

 _ **Woman:** Yeah, well, now you're kinda not._

 _ **Rachel:** But I saved it. I put my basket on top._

 _ **Woman:** Oh, I'm sorry, is that your basket? It's really pretty. Unfortunately, I don't see suds._

 _ **Rachel:** What?_

 _ **Woman:** No suds, no save. Ok?_

 _(Ross arrives.)_

 _ **Ross:** What's goin' on?_

 _ **Rachel:** Hi, uh, nothing. That horrible woman just took my machine._

 _ **Ross:** Was your basket on top?_

 _ **Rachel:** Yeah, but, there were no suds._

 _ **Ross:** So?_

 _ **Rachel:** Well, you know, no suds, no save._

 _ **Ross:** No suds? Excuse me, hold on a second. (to woman) That's my friend's machine._

 _ **Woman:** Hey, hey, hey, her stuff wasn't in it._

 _ **Ross:** Hey, hey, hey, that's not the rule and you know it._

 _(The woman and Ross stare at each other. Finally she takes her stuff out of the machine and leaves.)_

 _ **Ross:** (to the crowd in the laundromat) All right, show's over. Nothing to see here. (to Rachel) Ok, let's do laundry._

 _ **Rachel:** That was amazing. I can't even send back soup._

 _ **Ross:** Well, that's because you're such a sweet, gentle, uh...Do you, uh, do you...Oh, hey, uh you must need detergent._

 _(Ross pulls out a huge box of laundry detergent.)_

 _ **Rachel:** What's that?_

 _ **Ross:** Uberveiss. It's new, it's German, it's extra-tough._

 _(Rachel starts to load her clothes.)_

 _ **Ross:** Rach, do you uh, are you gonna separate those?_

 _ **Rachel:** Oh god. Oh, am I being like a total laundry spaz? I mean, am I supposed to use like one machine for shirts and another machine for pants?_

 _ **Ross:** Rach, have you never done this before?_

 _ **Rachel:** Well, not myself, but I know other people that have. Ok, you caught me. I'm a laundry virgin._

 _ **Ross:** Uh, well, don't worry, I'll use the gentle cycle. Ok, um, basically you wanna use one machine for all your whites, a whole nother machine for colors, and a third for your uh, your uh, delicates, and that would be your bras and your under-panty things._

 _ **Rachel:** (holds a pair of panties in front of Ross) Ok, Well, what about these are white cotton panties. Would they go with whites or delicates?_

 _ **Ross:** (visibly nervous) Uh, that, that, that would be a judgment call._

 _Joey enters Central Perk..._

 _Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)_

 _Joey: MIKE!_

 _Mike: Yeah?_

 _Joey: (Checks him out) Okay! (Walks over to his table and sits down with him)_

 _Joey and Mike are at the restaurant..._

 _Mike: I gotta tell you, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. Although I did just get out of a three-year relationship, so I guess I should be open and taking some risks._

 _Joey: Everything is gonna be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike._

 _Mike: I am Mike._

 _Joey: Atta boy!_

 _(Phoebe and Alex enter.)_

 _Joey: Okay, look..._

 _Everyone: (Ad-lib hellos)_

 _Phoebe: Joey, this is Alex Garrett. So, Mike, how do you and Joey know each other anyway?_

 _Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that._

 _Joey: (Laughs) From school._

 _Mike: Yeah, we met in college. (Off Joey's look) I mean, high school._

 _Phoebe: Wow, you guys go way back then. So what are you up to these days?_

 _Mike: Well, I'm a lawyer._

 _Joey: Mike, 'attorney at law'!_

 _Mike: Actually, I just gave up my practice._

 _Joey: What? That's the kinda thing you usually run by me._

 _Mike: I always wanted to play piano professionally, and I figured if I don't do this now, I never will._

 _Phoebe: Wow, that's great! I liked that better than the law thing, so..._

 _Joey: Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike._

 _Alex: I thought you thought he was still a lawyer._

 _Joey: No, no, that's not what I meant. Let's get you a cocktail_

 _That evening at the restaurant where Joey and Phoebe are with their blind dates.._

 _Phoebe: You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you._

 _Joey: Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car._

 _Mike: No, I didn't._

 _Joey: That's okay Mike, I have forgiven you. And now we're friends again everything's great!_

 _Alex: Wait, is your mom okay?_

 _Joey: Please, we're trying to have a conversation. (Pushes the wine glass closer to Alex.)_

 _Alex: Wow, you're a lot nicer on 'Married with Children_

 _Mike: 'Married with children'! That's why you look so familiar!_

 _Phoebe: What?!_

 _Mike: What?!_

 _Joey: What?!_

 _Phoebe: Do you not know each other?_

 _Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!_

 _Phoebe: Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have?_

 _Mike: (Joey holds up six fingers) Six!_

 _Joey: What are you doing? I said seven! (Holds up six fingers.) (Realizes his mistake) Argh!_

 _Phoebe: Joey, why did you set me up with a stranger?_

 _Joey: Because I forgot about our date, I'm so sorry._

 _Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car._

 _Phoebe: (To Joey) You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Alex is really smart and cute and loose._

 _Alex: Hey!_

 _Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!_

 _Joey: Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike! Mike!_

 _Phoebe: I'm out of here (She leaves)_

 _Mike: It was nice meeting you!_

 _Joey: (Alex) You're leaving too?_

 _Alex: I'll stay if you can tell me my name._

 _Joey: Good night!_

 _C/M and Rachel's apartment, where Nora enters to pick up the kids._

 _"Ookay kids be good for Grandma Bing" Chandler tells his and Monica's kids._

 _"They are always good. We'll have fun, won't we?" Nora grins._

 _"Yah!" the kids agreed._

 _"Mom why are you so happy right now?" Chandler asked his mother._

 _"I get to spend time with my beautiful grandkids" Nora replied then saw a pic of Ross and gushed "Ooh that Ross guy is so dreamy"_

 _"Seriously Mom?" Chandler questioned sarcastically._

 _Then Monica came out in a red jacket and leggings, very much so displaying the bump(same outfit she wore in 1x5 when her and Joey were going out with Angela and Bob but this is definitely AU)._

 _"Oh my you look so beautiful" Chandler embraced his wife unaware that his mom and their kids are watching them._

 _A few days later Mike comes in the coffee house to apologize to Phoebe..._

 _Mike: Excuse me, hi. I was hoping I would run into you. Can we talk?_

 _Phoebe: Sure._

 _Mike: I'm sorry, really, I'm so embarrassed. Really, I'm a pretty nice guy. Just ask my parole officer...Apparently I'm not a funny guy._

 _Phoebe: Why did you go along with that?_

 _Mike: Because I was told I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl. Which I did._

 _Phoebe: That's true. (Pause) Well, is anything you told me about yourself true?_

 _Mike: My name in Mike, and I do play piano._

 _Phoebe: Prove it._

 _Mike: There isn't a piano here._

 _Phoebe: That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist._

 _Mike: (Plays 'air piano')_

 _Phoebe: You are really good! I play a little guitar myself._

 _Mike: Really?_

 _Phoebe: Uhuh._

 _Mike: That's great. What kind of music do you play?_

 _Phoebe: Well, like acoustic folksy stuff. You know? But right now I'm working on a couple 'Iron Maiden' covers._

 _Mike: Do you think that maybe, sometime, I could..._

 _Phoebe: It's okay. Go ahead, ask me out._

 _Mike: Okay. Do you think maybe sometime I could take you out?_

 _Joey: (Walks In)_

 _Phoebe: (To Mike) Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice._

 _Joey: Look at this. My two best friends!_

 _(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)_

-Back to the present day-

"I'm so in love with your mother. She's the love of my life" Chandler said.

"I can tell by the way, you two act around each other, all the time" Luke smirked.

-That evening when Mondler are cudding-

"I'm so in love with you, Cara Mia" Chandler kissed his wife's arm.

"I'm so in love with you too, Chandler" Monica replies.

Chandler smiled lovingly, then proceeded to make love to her


	11. Forever

_-Flashback to february 1996. Mondler, their kids, and the Lobsters are at the Geller home in L.I for Jack's birthday. Monica is now 5 months pregnant with Clara, and everybody looks like they did from 2x15 & on-_  
 _"Chandler!" Monica said._  
 _"Yes...Cara Mia?" Chandler asked as he kissed both her hands._  
 _"Honey, the baby's kicking!" Monica replied as a smile grows on her face._  
 _"Was it the first time? Cara Mia"_  
 _"Yeah" Monica smiles._  
 _"That's wonderful!" Chandler grinned and placed his hand gently on her baby bump._  
 _Even though this is their fifth baby, it always amazes him each time._  
 _Unaware at everybody looking at them, Chandler starts to kiss up Monica's arm. A habit he can't help, and the other habit is making love to her._  
 _"Eww, guys!" Ross exclaimed in digust._  
 _"Shut up, Dino Man!" Chandler told him and goes back to kissing up Monica's arm._  
 _"OMG, eww. Mom and Dad!" Sophie said._  
 _"Yeah, eww!" Karen agrees._  
 _"You two are so gross. Mom and Dad!" Daniel agrees with his sisters._  
 _"Save it for home!" Rachel told the happily married couple._  
 _"Do I need to see my daughter and her husband, kissing on my birthday?" Jack asked, disgusted as well._  
 _"Oh, I think it's cute!" Judy smiled at her daughter & Chandler._  
 _Monica then said, "I have to go to the bathroom. This baby is playing soccer with my bladder"_  
 _Ross cringed "Eww, Mon!"_  
 _"Mommy!" Luke who is now one years old, cried when Monica went to the bathroom. Then he put his teething ring back into his mouth._  
 _Monica then waddled to the bathroom, her hand on her large belly- that was pretty big for five months pregnant._  
 _-Flashback from 'The One Where Joey Finds Out. Joey and Phoebe are alone in the coffee house-_  
 _Phoebe: Hi._  
 _Joey: I didn't get a cat._  
 _Phoebe: Oh, that's um, interesting._  
 _Joey: No, no it's not interesting. OK, it's very, very not interesting. In fact it's actually 100 percent completely opposite of interesting._  
 _Phoebe: Alright, I got it Joey._  
 _Joey: You had no right to tell me you ever had feelings for me._  
 _Phoebe: [hurt] What?_  
 _Joey: [Coldly] I was doing great with Darla before I found out about you._  
 _Phoebe: Hey, I was doin' great before I found out about you. You think it's easy for me to see you with Darla?_  
 _Joey: Then you should have said something before I met her._  
 _Phoebe: I didn't know then. And how come you never said anything to me._  
 _Joey: There was never a good time._  
 _Phoebe: Right, you, you only had a year. We only hung out every night._  
 _Joey: Not, not, not every night. You know, and... and it's not like I didn't try, Phoebe, but things got in the way, y'know? Like, like scientist guys or guys who work at Piano bars or, or, or scientist guys._  
 _Phoebe: Hey, there was one scientist guy, OK, and do you even have a point?_  
 _Joey: The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed._  
 _Phoebe: Yeah, what're you saying, you just sort of put away feelings or whatever the hell it was you felt for me?_  
 _Joey: Hey, I've been doin' it since 1989, I've gotten pretty damn good at it._  
 _Phoebe: Alright, fine, you go ahead and you do that, alright Joey._  
 _Joey: Fine._  
 _Phoebe: 'Cause I don't need your stupid shit._  
 _Joey: Good._  
 _Phoebe: Good. [Joey leaves]_  
 _[Phoebe gets up and opens the door, yelling after him.]_  
 _Phoebe: And ya know what, now I've got closure._  
 _[Phoebe slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Joey comes back and is standing outside the window. When Phoebe regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.]_  
 _Joey: Try the bottom one._  
 _[She opens the door and they kiss.]_  
 _-The next morning-_  
 _(Scene: Bing and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are there, discussing the night before.)_  
 _Phoebe: Joey kissed me._  
 _Monica: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!_  
 _Phoebe: It was unbelievable!_  
 _Monica: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!_  
 _Rachel: Ok, all right. We want to hear everything. Monica, get the wine and unplug the phone. Phoebe, does this end well or do we need to get tissues?_  
 _Phoebe: Oh, it ended very well._  
 _Rachel: Oh._  
 _Monica: (getting the wine) Do not start without me. Do not start without me. And I can't have any wine.(Thinks about the five positive pregnancy tests she took the day before)_  
 _Rachel: Ok, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?_  
 _Phoebe: Well, at first it was really intense, you know. And then, oh, god, and then we just sort of sunk into it._  
 _Rachel: Ok, so, ok, was he holding you? Or was his hand like on your back?_  
 _Phoebe: No, actually first they started on my waist. And then, they slid up, and then, they were in my hair._  
 _Rachel and Monica: Ohh!_  
 _(Scene: Joey's apartment. Ross, Chandler, and Joey are there eating pizza.)_  
 _Joey: And, uh, and then I kissed her._  
 _Ross: Tongue?_  
 _Joey: Yeah._  
 _Ross: Cool._  
 _[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Rachel, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]_  
 _Chandler: All right, check out this bad boy. 12 megabytes of ram. 500 megabyte hard drive. Built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 b.p.s._  
 _Rachel: Wow. What are you gonna use it for?_  
 _Chandler: (doggedly) Games and stuff._  
 _Monica: (reading the paper) There are no jobs. There are no jobs for me._  
 _(Chandler started to kiss her neck)_  
 _Ross: (reading over her shoulder) Wait, here's one. Uh, would you be willing to clean the bathrooms in Senor Froggies?_  
 _Monica: There's an ad for Senor Froggies?_  
 _(Joey enters, distraught.)_  
 _Joey: Hi._  
 _Rachel: Hey, oh, so, um...how'd you make out last night?_  
 _Joey: That, that is funny. That is painfully funny. No, wait. Wait, yeah, that's just painful_  
 _Monica: Wait a minute. I thought last night was great._  
 _Joey: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Darla's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Darla, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?_  
 _Ross: You got all that from saline solution?_  
 _Chandler: Ahh, I'm the same way. Show me a bottle of Visine and I am like "Woah, who am I!"._  
 _Monica: We are talking about Phoebe here. You and Phoebe._  
 _Joey: Believe me, I've been dreaming about me and Phoebe for five years now. But now, I'm with Darla, so it's like me and Darla, me and Phoebe, me and Darla, me and... (Phoebe enters, carrying her guitar)... Phoebe. Phoebe, Phoebe._  
 _Phoebe: (to Joey) Hey, you._  
 _Joey: How are you?_  
 _Phoebe: Good. How are you?_  
 _Joey: Good._  
 _(Darla enters.)_  
 _Darla: Hi, honey._  
 _Joey: Hi, Darla. (nervous) Hi, Darla. Darla, um, how are you?_  
 _Darla: Good._  
 _(Phoebe bit her lip in embarassment)_  
 _Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's office. Monica is there about a job.]_  
 _Mr. Ratstatter: This is a nice resume. Nice, nice, nice. Muy impressivo._  
 _Monica: Ashame that it's true. (laughs a bit) I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No it's all true. I'm just a little a little nervous, that's all. I'm fine now. So, Mr. Rastatter, what exactly does this job entail? The ad wasn't too clear._  
 _Mr. Ratstatter: Mockolate._  
 _Monica: I'm sorry?_  
 _Mr. Ratstatter: Mockolate. It's a completely synthetic chocolate substitute._  
 _Monica: Ohh._  
 _(He pulls out a piece of Mockolate.)_  
 _Mr. Ratstatter: Go ahead. Try a piece. Yeah, we think that Mockolate is even better than chocolate._  
 _Monica: All right, I'm pregnant. But all right. Mmm-mmm._  
 _(She tastes it, and obviously hates it.)_  
 _Mr. Ratstatter: Yeah?_  
 _Monica: (disgusted, trying not to show it) I love how it crumbles. Now see, your chocolate doesn't do that._  
 _Mr. Ratstatter: No, Mrs. Bing. Well, anyhoo, we should be getting our F.D.A. approval any day now, hopefully, in time for Thanksgiving. See, the way we look at it, chocolate already dominates most of your major food-preparation holidays: Easter, Christmas, what have you._  
 _Monica: (still chewing) Mmm-mmm._  
 _Mr. Ratstatter: But, we're thinking, given the right marketing, we can make Thanksgiving the Mockolate holiday._  
 _Monica: Wow._  
 _Mr. Ratstatter: Aren't you going to swallow that?_  
 _Monica: Just waiting for it to stop bubbling._  
 _Mr. Ratstatter: Yeah, isn't that great?_  
 _Monica: (with false enthusiasm) Mmm._  
 _Mr. Ratstatter: Well, anyhoo, um, we are looking for a couple of chefs who can create some Thanksgiving-themed recipes. You think you might be interested?_  
 _Monica: Abso...(swallows hard)...lutely. See, I love creating new recipes. I love Thanksgiving. And, well, now, I love Mockolate._  
 _Mr. Ratstatter: Really?_  
 _Monica: Especially the after taste, you know, I'll tell ya, that'll last ya till Christmas. I need to show this to my husband, kids, brother and friends._  
 _[Scene: The Bings and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are there. Monica is suggesting Mockolate recipes to Rachel as the kids are watching TV and Luke is crawling around.]_  
 _Monica: How about Mockolate mousse?_  
 _Rachel It's not, it's not very Thanksgiving-y._  
 _Monica: Ok, how about pilgrim Mockolate mousse?_  
 _Rachel: What makes it pilgrim?_  
 _Monica: We'll put buckles on it._  
 _(Phoebe enters.)_  
 _Phoebe: Hey._  
 _Rachel: Hey._  
 _Monica: Hey._  
 _Phoebe: Did uh, Joey call?_  
 _Monica: No, I'm sorry._  
 _Phoebe: Why didn't he call? He's gonna stay with Darla, isn't he? He's gonna stay with her and she's going to be all, "Hi, I'm Darla, Joey picked me, and we're gonna to get married, have a lot of kids and join a circus together."_  
 _Phoebe: No offense, but that sounds nothing like her._  
 _[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is up in arms about the Phoebe/Darla situation.]_  
 _Joey: I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare._  
 _Chandler: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight. Nope, not me- I only love Monica._  
 _Ross: Hey, here's a thought, Joey. (reaches for the computer)_  
 _Chandler: Don't touch the computer. Don't ever touch the computer.(Plays with his wedding band)_  
 _Ross: Joey, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome._  
 _Chandler: You still have another word that you can use._  
 _Joey: Oh hey, I-I think I know what it is 'Help'._  
 _Chandler: Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Phoebe and Darla, pros and cons. (eyes Joey to stop touching his computer) Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column._  
 _Joey: Can't we just use a pen?_  
 _Chandler: No, Amish boy._  
 _Ross: Ok, let's start with the cons, 'cause they're more fun. All right, Phoebe first._  
 _Joey: I don't know. I mean, all right, I guess you could say that she can be weird sometimes._

 _Ross: You could say that._  
 _Joey: And I guess, you know, sometimes, she's a little ditzy, you know. And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. Oh, and Darla and I, we have a lot in common 'cause we're both actors, but Phoebe's just a massuese ._  
 _Chandler: Massuase. Got it. You guys wanna play Doom? Or we could keep doing this. What else?_  
 _Joey: I don't know._  
 _Ross: Oh, she sings bad._  
 _Chandler: Ok, let's do Darla. What's wrong with her?_  
 _Joey: (long pause) She's not Phoebe._  
 _[Scene: The Bings and Rachel's apartment. Monica has made food for Phoebe and Rachel to taste.]_  
 _Monica: Ok, this is pumpkin pie with mockolate cookie crumb crust. This is mockolate cranberry cake, and these are mockolate chip cookies. Just like the Indians served._  
 _(Rachel and Phoebe takes a bite.)_  
 _Rachel: Oh my god._  
 _Monica: Oh my god good?_  
 _Rachel: Oh my god, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth._ Eww!  
 _(Rachel runs to the sink to spit it out.)_  
 _Phoebe: Oh, oh sweet Lord! This is what evil must taste like!_  
 _[Scene: Joey's apartment. Chandler is on the phone with a computer hotline.]_  
 _Chandler: I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?_  
(Joey _enters with a melancholy look.)_  
Ross _: (to Joey) Hey, so how'd it go with Darla? Did you, did you break her heart?_  
Joey _: Yes, it was horrible. She cried. I cried. She threw things, they hit me. Anyway, I did the right thing._  
 _Chandler: (in phone) So, Spock actually hugs his father?_  
(Phoebe _enters.)_  
Phoebe _: Hey, do you guys have...(sees Joey, pauses)...hi._  
Joey _: Hi._  
Phoebe _: (sees his coat on) Where you goin'?_  
Joey _: I uh, I just got back from uh, from Darla's._  
Phoebe _: (dejected) Oh._  
Joey: _No, no, uh, it's not what you think. It's um the other thing._  
Phoebe _: Well, what's the other thing, what do I think?_  
(Ross _is looking at Phoebe, smiling, and gesturing his head towards Joey.)_  
Joey _: Well, uh._  
Ross _: He broke up with Darla. Well, go hug her, for god's sakes._  
Phoebe _: Really?_  
Joey _: Really. It's always been you, Phoebe._  
 _(Joey and Phoebe hug.)_  
Phoebe: _Oh, god._  
Ross _and Chandler: Ohhh._  
Phoebe _: Oh, oh, this is good, this is really good._  
Joey _: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...(turns around, sees Chandler and Ross) What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?_  
Phoebe _: Let me get my coat._  
Joey _: Ok. No, hey, whoa, whoa, I'll get your coat._  
 _(Joey leaves.)_  
Phoebe _: Ok, he's goin' to get my coat. He's goin' to get my coat. Oh my god, you guys. I can't believe this. This is unbelievable. (notices Chandler's computer screen) What's that?_  
 _Chandler: (nervous) What? Nothing._  
 _(Chandler closes up the laptop computer screen.)_  
Phoebe _: What's that? What? I saw my name. What is it?_  
 _Chandler: No, no, see? See? (the printer starts to run) Hey, it's printing. (to Ross, rattled) Hey, it's printing!_  
 _(Chandler rips off the sheet of paper from the printer.)_  
Phoebe _: Well what is it? Let me see._  
 _(Joey walks back in, Phoebe's coat in hand.)_  
Joey _: Hey, someone order a coat?_  
Phoebe _: Joey, Chandler wrote something about me on his computer and he won't let me see._  
Joey _: He won't? (remembers what it is) He won't! Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story you were writing?_  
 _Chandler: Yes, yes it is, short story, that I was writing._  
Phoebe _: And I'm in it? Then let me read it._  
 _Chandler, Joey, and Ross: No!_  
Phoebe _: Come on._  
Ross _: Hey, uh, why don't you read it to her?_  
 _(Joey and Chandler stare angrily at Ross, who thinks he has come up with a good idea.)_  
 _Chandler: (through gritted teeth) Alright. (clears his throat) "It was summer, and it was hot. Phoebe was there. A lonely gray couch. 'Oh, look,' cried Ned, and then the kingdom was his forever. The end."_  
Joey _: That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world._  
Phoebe _: All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it._  
Joey _: No, you don't._  
Phoebe: _All right, you know what, that's fine. If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine. I do not need to see it. (Phoebe grabs the paper and runs across the room, reading it to herself.)_  
Phoebe _: What is this? Joey, what is this?_  
 _Chandler: Good luck._  
 _(Chandler and Ross leave quickly.)_  
Joey _: Ok, just, just remember how crazy I am about you, ok?_  
Phoebe _: Kind of ditzy? Too into her looks? Too weird?_  
 _Joey: Now that's a little weird. He was supposed to type little", the idiot._  
Phoebe _: Just a massuse?_  
Joey _: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Phoebe?_  
Phoebe _: Oh! I am not a bad singer!_  
 _(Phoebe leaves, and Joey follows her into the hall.)_  
Joey _: No, no, wait, ok, ok, look at the other side. Look at Darla's column._  
Phoebe _: She is not Phobe(foh-bee). What the hell's a Phobe? Is that some stupid acting word that I wouldn't know because I'm just a massuese._  
 _(She runs back to her apartment.)_  
Joey _: No, Phoebe, come on. Pheebs! Pheebs, no, no! She's not Phoebe, she is, she is not, Ph-Phoebe?_  
(Joey looks helplessly)

 _[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are there.]_  
 _Chandler: My diary! My diary, that's brilliant. I should have told her it was my diary, she never would have made me read her my diary._  
 _Monica: You know, that's true. You are a great husband and father to have around the day after an emergency._  
 _Chandler: Mmm.(He kissed her lips)_  
 _Rachel: I... I cannot believe Joey even made this list. What a dinkus._  
 _Ross: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea._  
 _Rachel: What?_  
 _Monica: What?_  
 _Chandler: Oh good, I was hoping that would come up._  
 _Monica: This was your idea? Mon Cherie._  
 _Rachel: What were you thinking?_  
 _Chandler: (squirming) All right, let's get some perspective here, ok? These things, they happen for a reason.(To Monica) Like when we slept together on Thanksgiving 1988, and I got you knocked up with Sophie._  
 _Ross: Eww, dude!_  
 _Monica: Yeah. You!_  
 _Chandler: All right, Rach, back me up here, ok? You believe in that fate crap, don't you?_  
 _Rach: Yeah, by the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle._  
 _[Scene: The Bings and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is sitting on the couch, eating candy. It is raining out. Joey climbs up the fire escape and is knocking on the window.]_  
 _Joey: Pheebs! Whoops! Pheebs, hey, open up, please!_  
 _Phoebe: (coldly) When somebody does not buzz you in, Joey, that means go away. That doesn't mean please climb up the fire escape._  
 _Joey: I just wanna read something. It's your pro list._  
 _Phoebe: Not interested._  
 _(Phoebe closes the drapes over the window, goes into the bathroom and closes the door.)_  
 _Joey: (reading his list) Ok, ok, number one: The way you cry at movie endings. Number two: how much you love your friends. Number three: the way you play with your hair when you're nervous. Number four: how brave you are for living on the streets Number five: how beautiful you are._  
 _(Monica, Chandler, Ross, Rachel, Sophie, Karen, Daniel and Luke enter, confused.)_  
 _Joey: Number six: the way you smell._  
 _Ross: (opens the drapes) Hey, Joey! What are you doin'?_  
 _Joey: Hey, Ross. You wanna open the window?_  
 _Ross: Oh, yeah, I do._  
 _(He opens the window, Joey comes in, soaked.)_  
 _Chandler: What are you doing out there?_  
 _Joey: I am, uh, I am..._  
 _Monica: Oh, you must be freezing. You know what you need? How about a nice steaming cup of hot Mockolate?_  
 _(Joey runs to one of the new additions, knocking on the door.)_  
 _Joey: Phoebe, come on, open up. Pheebs, come on, come on, Pheebs. You got to give me another chance._  
 _(Phoebe opens the door.)_  
 _Phoebe: No._  
 _Joey: No?_  
 _Phoebe: That's what I said._  
 _Chandler: Look, maybe we should go back out?_  
 _Phoebe: No, you guys, you really don't have to go, we're done talking._  
 _Joey: Pheebs, come on, look, I know how you must feel._  
 _Phoebe: (near tears) No, you don't, Joey. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you._  
 _(Mondler look at each other because that is not the cheerful and happy Phoebe, they know)_  
 _Joey: No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things._  
 _Phoebe: Oh, well, that's, that's mighty big of you, Joey. (to the others) I said don't go!_  
 _Joey: You know what? You know what? If, things were the other way around, there's nothing you could put on a list that would ever make me not want to be with you._  
 _Phoebe: Well, then, I guess that's the difference between us. See, I'd never make a list._  
 _(She closes the door in his face. Joey walks sullenly back to the couch and sits down. A moment of silence ensues.)_  
 _Ross: (quietly) I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? (Joey stares blankly at him) Maybe a little longer._  
 _[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's office. Monica is there.]_  
 _Monica: Now, in some of these recipes, the quantities may seem just a little unusual, uh, like these coconut mockolate holiday nut bars. I've indicated four cups of coconut, and four cups of crushed nut, and only, uh, one tablespoon of mockolate._  
 _Mr. Ratstatter's: Doesn't matter._  
 _Monica: What?_  
 _Mr. Ratstatter's:Our FDA approval didn't come through. Something about laboratory rats._  
 _Monica: Oh, gosh, I'm sorry._  
 _Mr. Ratstatter's:Yeah, well, anyhoo, here is your check. (hands it to her) Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you?_  
 _Monica: Well, uh, I ate some._  
 _Mr. Ratstatter's:Oh, some, that's fine. Some is fine. Some is not a lot. So, it doesn't burn when you pee, does it?_  
 _[Scene: The Bings and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are there.]_  
 _(phone rings)_  
 _Monica: Hello?_  
 _(Joey is at his apartment.)_  
 _Joey: Hi._  
 _Phoebe: (to Monica) Is that him again? Tell him I'd come to the phone, but my weirdness is weighin' me down._  
 _Monica: (to Joey) Listen, I... I don't think this is the best time._  
 _Joey: Look, can, can you do something for me?_  
 _Monica: Sure, what? Ok, ok. (hangs up the phone) (to Joey) Music?_  
 _(Monica turns on the radio.)_  
 _Radio: The next one's dedicated to Phoebe from Joey. Phoebe, he wants you to know he's deeply sorry for what he did and he hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him. (With or Without You plays)_  
 _(Phoebecseems touched. She pauses for a moment, then picks up the phone and starts to dial. Cut to Joey at his apartment.)_  
 _Radio: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Phoebe, and she told us what Joey did. It's pretty appalling, and Joey, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Marissa, Aria's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out._  
 _Closing Credits._  
 _[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's office. Monica is there.]_  
 _Mr. Ratstatter's: Hi, thanks for coming in again._  
 _Monica: Oh, not at all. I have no morals and I need the cash._  
 _Mr. Ratstatter's: It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?_  
 _Monica: Cat hair._  
 _Mr. Ratstatter's: Oh, sorry._  
 _Monica: I can't eat it anyways because of my pregnancy._

 _END_


	12. Soulmates

_Flashback of the S2 finale: 'The one with Ross and Rachel's wedding part 2(1996)-_  
 _[SCENE: THEY ARE ALL IN A ROOM IN THE WEDDING HALL. AT THE HOTEL PLAZA]_  
 _"I hate you so much!" Monica yells at Chandler, and grips his hand screaming "Oh god. Oww!" as a contraction hit._  
 _"OMG. What the hell is that?" Joey asked as a pile of water forms under his friend._  
 _"Relax, Joe. It's just her water breaking" Ross told him then questions, "What're you gonna do when you have kids?"_  
 _"I'm gonna be in the waiting room. Handing out cigars" Joey grins, looking at Phoebe._  
 _Meanwhile, Monica gasps and says "That was a big one"_  
 _"It was the biggest one yet" Chandler told everybody as he rubs his wife's back._  
 _A few minutes later, Monica grabs Chandler by the collar of his suit jacket. Yelling- "Listen Buddy, I am never having sex with you again!"_  
 _"Stop it guys. I didn't need to know that" Ross groaned as Rachel placed her hand on his shoulder, comfortingly._  
 _An hour later, Chandler said "C'mon, Honey. One more push and little Clara will be in the world." then he asked "How are you doing this Mon?"_  
 _"Uhhgh" Monica screamed and pushed with all her might- as the baby came out._  
 _"Oh my god Cara Mia, you did it!" He exclaimed as the baby got cleaned up by the paramidics._  
 _20 minutes later. Everybody entered Mondler's plaza hotel room, which was simlar to the one that Kevin/the McCalisters were staying in HA2.-_  
 _"There's someone I would like for you all to meet" Chandler smiled, as Monica held their new daughter: wisps of platinum blonde hair, porceleain skin and bright blue eyes with her mother's facial features; encircled this tiny little person._  
 _"Oh my god, she's such a beauty. What's her name?" Phoebe asked._  
 _"Clara Muriel Bing" Monica replies as the little baby girl starts to cry, then shifted her to a more better postion._  
 _"Oh oh, she's so amazing! I'm so happy you two had another baby" Rachel exclaimed._  
 _"Chandler, she looks just like you" Joey said._  
 _"I wanted another brother!" Daniel complanied as Chandler pats his back._  
 _"Bubby want nother bubby?" Luke questions cluelessly._  
 _Everybody gushed "Aww!" at Luke's cutness and the new Baby Bing._  
 _"Another sister, yay" Sophie smiled as she looks at Clara. "She looks like Grandma Bing"_  
 _"Yeah, they all keep saying she looks like Chandler. But all I see is Nora and I'm weirded out" Ross states._  
 _"In your face, Daniel. We have another sister!" Karen said happily._  
 _'Aww!" Daniel groaned, "I wanted her to be a boy. Why did you have to have another girl, Mom?"_  
 _Ross then peered at Baby Clara in his sister's arms, exclaiming "Whoa, Dude. She looks an awful lot like your mom!"_  
 _"Oh, this is so cool. Now, I get to teach her how to write erotic novels" Rachel put both hands to her face._  
 _"Huh. I always thought there was something girly about Chandler" Phoebe smirks._  
 _"Ooh, she's sure gonna get a lot of guys when she get older" Joey grins._  
 _"This is mine and Monica's new daughter, we are talking about" Chandler groans._  
 _"I'm so proud that our little HarMonica has had her fifth child" Jack said._  
 _"So am I. It's a definite improvement over a son having his only kid out of wedlock with a lesbian" Judy agreed._  
 _"Too bad she got the wrong grandparent's looks. Here's hoping maybe the next one can look more like me" Charles looked at his newest granddaughter._  
 _"Well, I, for one, am happy to have a granddaughter that takes after me. And I believe I shall be the one to teach her how write proper erotica, Rachel, if you don't mind" Nora stuck her tounge at him._  
 _"I hope she's nicer than Karen" Sophie snickered._  
 _"No, I hope she's nicer than you" Karen shook her head._  
 _They started arguing._  
 _-Flashback to june 1989. That evening after Monica went into false labor with Sophie-_  
 _"I'm so happy our baby girl is alright" Chandler broke the silence, and kissed both her hands._  
 _"I know! I was really scared" Monica placed her hand over his._  
 _"Your dad said that they were all freaking out, and Rachel said it was like a bomb went off" Chandler told her then kissed up her arm, grinning "I can't wait until she comes and you become Mrs. Bing in two months"_  
 _"I know!" Monica smiles._  
 _"Hey, Baby Girl. Daddy's so glad you are alright, and Mommy is too. We can't wait to meet you" Chandler spoke to their baby girl._  
 _"This is my happily ever after" Monica thought, as Chandler spoke softly to their baby. She rested her hand on her swollen belly and smiled. She was finally getting everything she wanted- a husband in two months, a baby girl in two months, supportive parents, and amazing best friends._  
 _-Flashback to september 1989 right after the honeymoon. A few days before, Chandler and Monica moved into Nana's apartment in the city. Now they are back home with Sophie-_  
 _"I arranged a little surpise for you, my dearest. I hope you like it" Chandler said as he kissed both her hands._  
 _"Oh, Chandler. It's bright, it's- it's gorgeous" Monica tried looking for more words to describe it._  
 _"It says "toddler" My love" Chandler started kissing her neck._  
 _"It's a dream" Monica smiled._  
 _"Come Cara Mia. The Bing cradle" Chandler kissed up her arm, adding "Welcome home. My girl" as Baby Sophie starts to laugh._  
 _-Flashback to Christmas morning, 1995. Joey and Daniel are on the balcony-_  
 _"Crazy how my mom is having another baby. Doesn't she have enough already?!" Daniel asks._  
 _"Maybe she wanted one that would be loser, and would never leave the apartment" Joey suggests._  
 _"Where do babies come from anyway? Do you just decide you want one and nine months later there it is?" Daniel questions._  
 _"Well, Danny. It is a complicated process" Joey said as he stuffed cold pizza into his mouth._  
 _"Really? How?" Daniel's eyes lightened up._  
 _Joey started "First your parents remove all of their clothes. Then they climb into bed – or sometimes they just do it on the couch – and do some things that feel very good to them, but would make you throw up if you saw it. Then they kiss and when his di—"_  
 _"Okay, I get it! Stop, stop, stop!" Daniel told him._  
 _Daniel covered his ears, then ran back into the apartment, his face pale. Joey laughed as he went. A job well done._  
 _"Daniel's sure acting weird" Monica watched as Daniel ran into his room._  
 _"Let's just focus on the new Baby Bing. We are gonna have in six months" Chandler kissed both her hands, then noticed she is showing._  
 _"When did you-" He asked._  
 _"I started showing on Luke's birthday party this weekend. But I guess the baby wanted to wait until everyone found out yesterday" She placed her hand over his._  
 _"That's my baby" Chandler grins, and placed his hand gently on her baby bump._  
 _"I know!" Monica smiles._  
 _(THE FIRST DAY BACK AT SCHOOL. DANIEL IS UP IN FRONT OF THE CLASS, READY FOR SHOW-AND-TELL. HE HAS NOTHING IN HIS HAND, NOR A PRESENTATION ON THE BOARD.)_  
 _Teacher: So, Daniel, what are you showing us today?_  
 _Daniel: I want to tell you guys about my new little sibling._  
 _(Everyone in class oohed and ahhed.)_  
 _Teacher: Oh, is your mother pregnant? Again?_  
 _Daniel: Yes, miss. She decided to have another one of us to cause trouble for her. Uncle Joey says that it might be because she needs to make sure one of us is a loser who never moves out of the apartment._  
 _(Everyone laughed.)_  
 _Teacher: Oh, um, okay. Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?_  
 _Daniel: No, miss. But I don't really care. One way or another I already love them._  
 _Teacher: You're such a sweet little boy._  
 _Daniel: I know. So can I tell the class how my parents made the baby?_  
 _Teacher (Startled): Oh, um, maybe another day!_  
 _Daniel(nodding): Okay._

 _-Flashback to late 1996-_  
 _[Scene: The Bings: everyone is there and they are watching an infomercial that stars Joey.]_  
 _Host: Welcome everybody, welcome to Amazing Discoveries!_  
 _Phoebe: Oh, oh! It's on again!_  
 _Joey: You guys, can we please not watch this all right._  
 _All: Shhhh!_  
 _Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open._  
 _Joey: (on tv) Oh, you said it Mike. (rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!_  
 _Mike: And there is Kevin._  
 _Joey: Can we please turn this off?_  
 _Rachel: Noo way, Kevin._  
 _Mike: There is a revolutionary new product that guarantees that you'll never have to open up milk cartons again. Meet the Milk Master 2000._  
 _Ross: (to Chandler) Are you intrigued?_  
 _Chandler: You're flingin'-flangin' right I am!_  
 _Mike: Keep in mind, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (to Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton._  
 _Joey: (on TV, finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday._  
 _(They all start laughing at him)_  
 _Joey: I can't watch this anymore you guys._  
 _(Everyone sympathizes for him.)_  
 _Phoebe: All right, you've suffered enough. We'll change it. We'll change it. (She does so and there appears another infomercial with Joey in it. This time he is wearing a moustache trying to sow something. )_  
 _Infomercial Announcer: How many times has this happened to you? (Joey pinches himself)._  
 _Joey (on TV): Argh, there's got to be a better way!_  
 _(Everyone turns around to look at a disgruntled Joey.)_  
 _Opening Credits_  
 _[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Rachel are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]_  
 _Chandler: Well, it's official there are no good movies._  
 _Monica: Well, let's go to a bad one and make out. (they start to kiss and lean back into Rachel.)_  
 _Rachel: Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, (turns sideways on the couch) so that you can bunny bump against my back._  
 _Joey: (entering) Hey!_  
 _Phoebe: Hey._  
 _Chandler: Hey, man. What's up?_  
 _Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!_  
 _Chandler: Well, I'll tell ya I do enjoy guilt, but, ah, it wasn't me._  
 _Phoebe: Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! (they all stare at her) Okay, it was me!_  
 _Joey: How is it you?_  
 _Phoebe: Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)_  
 _Joey: Yep, that's my audition._  
 _Monica: See, now this is why I keep notepads everywhere._  
 _Phoebe: Yep, and that's why we don't invite you to play._  
 _Rachel: What is the great tragedy here? You go get yourself another appointment._  
 _Joey: Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance._  
 _Phoebe: That is unfair. I'll call her and tell her it was totally my fault._  
 _Joey: Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents._  
 _Phoebe: What a sad little life she must lead. Okay, ooh (starts dialing)._  
 _Joey: What, what are you doing? What are you doing?_  
 _Phoebe: No, no, no, I know, I know, ooh. (on the phone in a different voice) 'Hi, this is Katelynn, from Phoebe Buffay's office. Um, is um, Ann there for Phoebe, she'll know what it's about.'_  
 _Joey: Hang up, hang up. (reaches with his good arm, but Phoebe grabs it and he tries to reach the phone with his other arm but can't because of the sling.)_  
 _Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'_  
 _Chandler: Is anybody else scared?_  
 _Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)_  
 _Chandler: Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad!_  
 _Monica: Oh, now you want a pad._  
 _[Scene: The Bings.]_  
 _Rachel: (passes by the window caring laundry) Huh. Well, that's funny. Ugly Naked Guy is still naked but his dog is wearing a sweater._  
 _Carol and Susan: (entering with Ben) Hey!_  
 _Ross: There's my boy! Here's my boy! And here's his Barbie (Ben is holding a Barbie doll) What's ah, what's my boy doing with a Barbie?_  
 _Carol: He picked it out of the toy store himself, he loves it._  
 _Susan: He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret._  
 _Ross: Yeah, it's, it's, it's cute. Why, why, why does he have it, again?_  
 _Susan: So he's got a doll? So what? Unless you're afraid he's gonna grow up and be in show business._  
 _Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?_  
 _Ross: You know what it's fine. If you're okay with the Barbiething, so am I._  
 _(cut to later in the day)_  
 _Ross: Give daddy the Barbie! Ben, give, give me the Barbie. Okay, how 'bout, don't you want to play with the monster truck? (makes a monster truck sound) No. Okay, oh, oh, how about a Dino-solider? (squawks like a dinosaur)_  
 _Rachel: Ross, you are so pathetic. Why can't your son just play with his doll? (uses the Milk Master 2000 to pour milk into her cereal)_

 _Monica_ ** _:_** _(entering from the nursery with Clara) Guess who just woke up?_  
 _Chandler: Whose Daddy's little princess?(kissed Clara's tiny finger as Clara starts to laugh)_  
 _Sophie: Mommy, she's so gorgeous! Can I hold her?_  
 _Monica: Yeah, just sit down and be careful._  
 _(Sophie sat down at the kitchen table, next to Rachel. Monica placed the toddler baby girl in her arms)_  
 _Sophie: Oh, Clara. You are so cute: I can just bite your tiny little head off and use it as a sucking candy!_  
 _Monica: Sophie, your sister's head is not sucking candy!_  
 _Sophie: I know! I'm just joking._  
 _Rachel: Sophie's a lot like you, Mon._  
 _Monica: I know!_  
 _(Placed Clara in the fold up living room crib. Then starts to make breakfeast)_  
 _Chandler(to Clara): How's Daddy's little princess?_  
 _Clara: Dada!_  
 _Chandler: Look Mon, she said 'Dada'!(to Clara) Can you say 'Mama'?_  
 _Clara: Mama!(Chandler took her out of the crib)_  
 _Chandler: Can you say everyone else's names?_  
 _Clara: Soph, Dan-Dan, Karry, Lulu. Rae-rae, Rossy, Pheebs, Joe, Ben, Car, Sus, Granny, Grandpappy, Nany, Grandmomma._  
 _Chandler: Close enough.(Tickles her then sets her on the floor, starting to kiss Monica as she's making breakfeast)_  
 _Ross: Eww, guys. Stop it!_  
 _Chandler: Shut up, Dino Man!_  
 _Clara: Hungry!_  
 _(Clara gets put in the highchair, then eats two plates of cut-up bananas. She slids the plate of bananas down her tiny body)_  
 _Phoebe: Looks like Joey taught her how to eat bananas._  
 _Joey: Yeah Baby!(Winks at Phoebe who blows a kiss in return)_  
 _Monica(to Clara): Okay, Sweetie. That's enough with the bananas, how about sweet peas?_  
 _Clara: No sweet peas!_  
 _Monica: Mommy's gonna have some(tastes) See they're good!(spits)_  
 _Joey: Mon, sweet peas are so overrated. Strained plums are better!_  
 _(Grabs plum baby food out of the fridge and hands one to Phoebe too)_  
 _Joey: What is there, like two bites in here or something?_  
 _Ross(to Ben): Give daddy the barbie._  
 _Rachel: My godness, you are so pathetic. Just let Ben play with his barbie._  
 _Ross: Hey, well you married me!_  
 _Rachel:(to Monica) Why did I have to marry your stupid brother?_  
 _Luke: Aunty Ross stupid?_  
 _Rachel: Luke's so adorable and funny!_  
 _Monica: I know! Just like I imagined Chandler at that age(Thinks of her husband of 6 years and smiled happily) Daniel was a monsterous baby, at that age._  
 _[Scene: That evening at the Bings apartment. Monica is pouring lots of chocolate syrup on her ice cream, as Chandler wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. Luke was toddling around and Clara's in her crib, Carol and Susan enter]_  
 _Carol: G.I Joe?! G.I Joe?!_  
 _Ross: He wanted that one instead._  
 _Susan: What did you do, cover it in sugar?_


	13. Amazing

_-April 1996. Monica is on maternity leave, and it's just her at the apartment since everyone is at work and kids at school. Rachel took Luke to the coffee house so that Monica could get rest as her & Chandler's new unborn little girl(Clara. 13 years ago) is coming in three weeks, and Ross & Rachel are due to get married in the middle of may; around the same time this new Baby Bing is scheduled to come-_  
 _"Hey, Honey. I'm home!" Chandler called out, as he entered the apartment for his lunch break._  
 _No answer. Chandler went into the master bedroom: where his eighth month pregnant wife was sleeping peacefully. As their new little girl was kicking her a lot last night._  
 _"Hi, Cara Mia" he stroked her beautiful medium-length raven black hair._  
 _"Chandler-" Monica woke up, as the sun hit her blue eyes._  
 _"Yeah, Baby. It's me" He kissed her large belly._  
 _"She's kicking too much. I miss the kids, and my back hurts" Monica whines._  
 _"I have something" Chandler returned a minute later with soothing lotion and sandwhiches._  
 _Monica lifted her shirt over her head so that her husband could rub her back._  
 _Chandler appiled lotion on her back and massaged it, but she fell back asleep. He couldn't help but notice, she was bigger than she was during her other pregnancies, she was a little bigger with Sophie though. A few minutes later, he said "All done" and traveled his hand down to her large baby bump, rubbing it; recieving a big kick in return. "That's my little Baby Girl Bing" Chandler whispered and snuggles up to her._  
 _-s2, e7 'Tow The List '(NOVEMBER 1995) The morning after Joey wrote the list about Phoebe. Monica is two months pregnant with Clara; she hasn't told anyone yet and she's already showing a bit. The master bedroom-_  
 _Chandler takes Monica into his arms: she rests her head on his chest. The grandfather clock went off, (it had everyone as mecanical people- Mondler kissing, Ross behind them, Rachel admiring her look, Joey winking at Phoebe, Sophie, Karen, Daniel and Luke behind everyone.)_  
 _As she languidly drapes herself across his chest, she is caught in a sudden shaft of sunlight. She squints. On the bedside table beside her, Monica's OVERSIZE CARNIVOROUS ORCHID WILTS._  
 _"Look at her. I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss." Chandler watched his(unknown to him) pregnant wife, sleep peacefully._  
 _[Monica wakes up] "Happy, darling?" he asked, as he kissed both her hands._  
 _"Oh, yes. Yes completely." Monica replies._  
 _[Chandler sits]_  
 _"Chandler... the sun... il me perce. Comme un poignard" Monica moaned._  
 _Chandler grinned wildly aroused by his wife, "Mon... that's French!'"_  
 _Monica smiled nonchalantly "Oui."_  
 _"Cara mia!" Chandler grinned wider._  
 _He kisses his way up to her neck, then, suddenly bursting with enthusiasm and a sense of purpose, LEAPS from the bed, drawing his bedside saber from its sheath and BRANDISHING it at the offending beam._  
 _"En garde monsieur sole! " Chandler excaimed._  
 _He thrusts and parries, pantomiming a duel with the_  
 _shaft of light._  
 _"Chandler?" Monica asked._  
 _"Querida?" Chandler continued kissing up & down her neck._  
 _"Last night, you were... unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. Do it again." Monica told him._  
 _Chandler, even more aroused by his wife, made love to her that morning._  
 _-The end of april 1996. Monica is all alone...and bored-_  
 _Monica called Central Perk, and Rachel picks up "Hello. Rachel Greene, soon to-be Geller"_  
 _"Hey Rach, do you and Pheebs want to have a girls day out?"_  
 _"Yeah"_  
 _Within 5 minutes, Rachel and Phoebe made it to the apartment._  
 _"Girls, um...can you help me up?" Monica asked._  
 _"Who should lift her up?" Rachel whispered to Phoebe._  
 _"The both of us" Phoebe does air quotes then they lift, Monica up._  
 _-After lunch, they go to a baby store for more stuff.-_  
 _"Look that this! Chandler is so not cute" Phoebe showed up a little onsie._  
 _"He is, Daniel & Luke get their cuteness from him" Monica looked down at her engagement and wedding rings._  
 _"Oh, oh look. This is so cute!" Rachel held up a cute little pink, baby dinosaur that raddles._  
 _Monica was just about to say it's cute. But then screamed "Oww!"_  
 _"Mon, what's wrong?" Phoebe asked with concern._  
 _"I- I think I'm in labor" Monica cried out._  
 _"I'm sure it's false. Let's get you to the hospital just in case" Rachel assures her._  
 _-At the hospital. Chandler enters without the kids, since they are with Joey-_  
 _"I just got a text from Pheebs about stuffed dinosaurs and me not being cute" He explained._  
 _Monica then came out, Chandler rushed over to her and placed his hand gently on her large belly. "Are you two OK?" he kissed her._  
 _Monica giggles saying "We're fine, Honey"_  
 _"What happened to you?"_  
 _She explained the whole story to him. "A stuffed dinosaur. Huh?" Chandler smirks, "I can't wait to tell that idiot brother of yours, that our four kids and Baby Girl Bing hate dinosaurs and that he's a big dummy" he spoke in a baby voice, and rubbed her bump, getting rewared with a little kick. "You agree with your daddy, right Baby Girl?" he chuckled proudly._  
 _Ross came running in. "I got a text at work, from Rachel that Mon went into false labor"_  
 _"So, Dino Man, you wanna know why Monica went into false labor?" Chandler questioned his brother in-law._  
 _"Um...sure" Ross flicked his hair back._  
 _"It all started when, Rachel up a baby dino and now all our kids, and Baby Girl Bing hate dinosaurs & think you are a big dummy" Chandler grinned as he rubbed Monica's large belly._  
 _"How? Baby Girl's not even here yet, and the kids are with Joey at the apartment" Ross's eyes light up._  
 _"Easy, 'cause when I called you a dummy she kicked" Chandler's grin got bigger._  
 _"Aw!" Ross cried._  
 _They all exited and went back to the apartment._  
 _AUTHORS NOTE: It's 11:52pm and I have school in the morning. REVIEW, I'm getting mad about getting no feedback._


	14. I love you

_-February 1996(2x14). Monica was reading a magazine, rubbing her growing belly while Sophie, Karen, & Daniel were playing and Luke was toddling around. A knock on the door can be heard, and her parents came in with boxes-_  
 _"What is this?" Monica noticed the boxes labeled 'Monica's stuff'_  
 _"Well Sweetheart, we are turning your room into a gym" Judy told her, walking around to her grandkids who exclaimed "Grandma Geller!_  
 _"Wow, that is a surprise. Just one little question, uh, why not Ross's room?" Monica smoothed out her orange shirt: her hand rested on her slightly potruding belly._  
 _"Gosh, we talked about that but your brother has so many science trophies and plaques and merit badges, well we didn't want to disturb them." Jack said and ran over to the kids "How's Grandpa's grandbabies?" he hands them each a $20._  
 _"Dad, don't spoil them!" Monica whined at her father spoling her and Chandler's children._  
 _"What? They need to be spoiled a bit" Jack states._  
 _"Have you felt this little one kick yet?" Judy asked her daughter, changing the subject._  
 _"It hasn't kicked yet, but I know it will soon! All the kids take after Chandler in a way. Sophie was poking me in the side, Karen & Daniel on the same side, and Luke's foot in my ribcage." Monica smiled dreamily at the mention of her husband._  
 _A few minutes later, Jack said "That Steffi Graf has quite a tush" recieving weird looks from everyone in the room "I'm just saying. It's right there!"_  
 _Ross and Chandler then entered, with Joey, Rachel & Phoebe following them._  
 _"Hello Darling. Where's Ben?" Judy asked her son._  
 _"He's with Carol and Susan" Ross repiled._  
 _"A woman in my office is a lesbian" Jack answered._  
 _" Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up." Judy said._  
 _"You are weird, Sir" Chandler rolled eyes at his father in-law, going over to Monica- planting a kiss on her baby bump; whispering "Hello Baby. Daddy's missed you"_  
 _"She missed you too" Monica wrapped her arms around him, feeling the baby move around inside her but no kicks yet._  
 _"-'She'- You think it's a girl, Cara Mia?" Chandler questions his pregnant wife as he kissed both her hands._  
 _"Yeah" Monica placed her hand over his._  
 _"I do too" He kissed her, then heard someone clear their throat._  
 _"Ahem...we are here too" Rachel told the happily married couple._  
 _They all laughed._  
 _-Earlier that day. Monica's at a job interview-_  
 _Interviewer: Well, this all looks good, Mrs. Bing._  
 _Monica: Great._  
 _Interviewer: And if I want to call for a reference on your last job?_  
 _Monica: Oh, that's there on the bottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing.(Rubs her growing belly)_  
 _Interviewer: Alright, lets see if you're as good in person as you are on paper. Make me a salad._  
 _Monica: A salad? Really I, I could do something a little more complicated if you like._  
 _Interviewer: No, just a salad will be fine._  
 _Monica: You got it._  
 _Interviewer: Now, I want you to tell me what you're doing while you're doing it._  
 _Monica: Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce._  
 _Interviewer: Uh-huh. Is it dirty?_  
 _Monica: Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it._  
 _Interviewer: Don't, I like it dirty._  
 _Monica: That's your call._  
 _Interviewer: So, uh, what are you going to do next?_  
 _Monica: Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatoes._  
 _Interviewer: Are they, uh, firm?_  
 _Monica: They're alright._  
 _Interviewer: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?_  
 _Monica: No really, they're OK._  
 _Interviewer: You gonna slice them up real nice?_  
 _Monica: Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne._  
 _Interviewer: Aaaahhhhhhh._  
 _Monica: I'm outa here. [Monica leaves]_  
 _-March 1996. Right after the gang found out Joey's career on 'Days of our lives' is on the rocks. The gang are all banging on the door of Joey's spare aparment; he still lives in apartment #19 though-_  
 _Ross: C'mon._  
 _Rachel: Joey._  
 _Ross: Open up. We want to talk to you._  
 _Joey: I don't feel like talkin'._  
 _Rachel: Oh c'mon Joey, we care about you._  
 _Chandler: We're worried about you._  
 _Monica: I need to go to the bathroom, this baby won't stop using my bladder as a chew-toy!_  
 _(Joey opens the door, and cringles)_  
 _Monica: Sorry Joey (runs to the bathroom)_  
 _Joey: Hey._  
 _Phoebe: Listen, sorry about your fight, that really sucks._  
 _Chandler: We came over as soon as we saw._  
 _Ross: How could you not tell us?_  
 _Joey: I don't know, I was kinda hopin' no one would ever find out._  
 _Rachel: Well, maybe they can find a way to not hate you._  
 _Joey: Naa, they said that when they found my envidence, that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin'._  
 _Phoebe: But Joey, you're gonna be fine. You don't need that show, it was just a dumb soap opera._  
 _Joey: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me._  
 _Phoebe: Yes, I was going to incorporate that. Oh good, here's Monica, she'll have something nice to say._  
 _Monica: Um, I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. What? To me that's nice._  
 _Chandler: It's gonna be ok. You know that?_  
 _Joey: No, I don't. It's like, ya know, you work your whole life for somethin' and you think that when you get it it's never gonna be as good as you thought it would be. But this so was. Ya know, it changed everything. Like the other day, I got this credit card application, and I was pre- approved. Huh? I've never been pre-approved for anything in my life._  
 _Chandler: I'm sorry man._  
 _Rachel: Yeah, Joey honey, I don't know if this'll mean anything to you but you'll always be pre-approved with us._  
 _Joey: No, that means nothin' to me._  
 _-Flashback from when Karen and Daniel were being born(September 1990)_  
 _"Monica, you need to push when the next contraction comes, and the first baby is out " Doctor Golly said._  
 _Monica did what she was told. "Oww!" She cries._  
 _A little mewling cry can be heard. "A girl!" Doctor Golly held up the baby._  
 _"Oh my god, she's gorgeous- just like you" Chandler looked at his new baby girl who had a full head of black hair, and piercing blue eyes. She looked just like Monica and her older sister Sophie._  
 _Chandler ran out into the waiting room, "It's a girl! I can't believe it, I- I have two children"_  
 _"How does she look?" Rachel asked._  
 _"Just like Monica. But covered in weird goo!" Chandler grinned and ran back in the delivery room._  
 _"The next one is crowning. You need to give a big push" Doctor Golly said._  
 _"Leave me alone; I just had a baby!" Monica moaned._  
 _"Honey, c'mon. Do it for our parents, Ross, Rachel, Joey, Phoebe, Sophie, and our new baby girl" Chandler kissed her._  
 _"Ughh" Monica cried as the new baby came out._  
 _"This one's a boy!" Doctor Golly held the baby boy up._  
 _He looks just like his daddy- a full head of sandy brown hair, deep blue eyes, and a little freckle on each cheegk._  
 _Chandler ran back in the waiting room, "It's a boy. He's so handsome. Come in!". He took Baby Sophie off his mother in-law's lap, "Princess, you have a brother and sister. Come meet them"_  
 _In the recovery room, Ross asked "What are their names?"_  
 _"Karen Phoebe and Daniel Chandler" Monica motioned to the baby she was holding and the one her husband was holding._  
 _"Karry, Dan-Dan!" Baby Sophie said enthusiastially while looking at the babies in both her parents arms._  
 _"Thank you" Phoebe whispered and asked "Can I hold one?"_  
 _"Of course" Monica handed her Daniel._  
 _"My little HarMonica's married, and has two more kids. I'm so proud of you!" Jack said._  
 _"I know!" Monica smiles._  
 _"Okay, my turn!" Joey grins and Phoebe handed Baby Daniel to him._  
 _"Oh, look at you Danny. I could just bite off your little fingers, and put 'em in a pastrami sandwich!" Joey held the baby boy._  
 _"Please don't do that to our baby boy" Chandler groaned, even though he knew Joey was just joking around._  
 _"Oh, Monica. She and Sophie look just like you as a baby" Judy said holding Baby Karen._  
 _"They do, such beautiful baby girls" Jack smiled at his granddaughters._  
 _A few minutes later, Phoebe asked "Which one are you holding?"_  
 _"I don't care" Rachel sniffed._  
 _-Flashback to somewhere december 1995. Monica is three months pregnant with Clara-she hasn't told anyone yet. Her and Chandler are supposed to be away this week for work, so her parents are watching the kids. But Monica's job sent her back for a few days-_

 _[Scene: The Bings and Rachel's apartment]_  
 _Jack: All right, now here's the deal. Now, little pieces and you don't tell Mommy about the movie and I don't tell her about the cake… You guys okay? I will be right back._  
 _Sophie: What a great day! It was like a birthday that came early._  
 _Judy: Hi Jack, we're back. Did you have fun with the boys?_  
 _Daniel and Luke: [covered in cake] Rawr!_  
 _Judy: Look at this place! We're going to have to call FEMA._  
 _Karen: Cake!_  
 _Judy: Where's Grandpa?_  
 _Daniel: He left._  
 _Judy: He left?! If your mother sees this…_  
 _Monica: What is going on?_  
 _Jack: Hi, what did you do?_  
 _Judy: I… I just got here._  
 _Monica: You gave them cake?_  
 _Jack: I gave them slivers._  
 _Monica: This perfectly sums up your entire approach to parenting._  
 _Judy: We have an approach?_  
 _Jack: I don't know._  
 _Sophie:[covered in cake] Mom, you lied to me!_  
 _Monica: Baby, give Mommy the cake._  
 _Sophie: Yogurt is not like ice cream!_  
 _Monica: Give me the cake![Cake goes all over her]_  
 _Sophie: Uh-oh.[Licks her fingers that have cake on them now]_  
 _-That evening in the master bedroom, Monica was video chatting with Chandler- cake still on her-_  
 _Chandler: You know, Cara Mia. You look great in cake._  
 _Monica:[chuckling] I love you._  
 _Chandler:[blowing a kiss] I love you too._  
 _-The next evening. Judy and Karen are at violin practice-_  
 _Judy: Wonderful! Bravo! Oh wow, Karen, that was wonderful!_  
 _Karen: I stunk._  
 _Judy: You most certainly did not. [to Dr. Skell] Wasn't she wonderful?_  
 _Dr. Skell:[in Lativan accent] No, this will not be good enough for your audition! You must practice more! Practice!_  
 _Judy: Gee wiz, wasn't she the villain in the last Superman movie? Awe, sweetie, don't listen to her. Perhaps you could relax, you could go out with your friends, you could have some fun one Friday night._  
 _Karen: I have three more days! I have to practice! I have to practice every second!"_  
 _Judy: [Pats Karen's shoulder] Dr. Skell if you ever speak to my granddaughter like that ever again, there will be nothing left of you but some blonde hair and an accent. Is that clear, comrade? Dasvidaniya!"_  
 _-Earlier that day, Jack and Daniel are at baseball practice, while Monica is in the bleachers watching-_  
 _Umpire: Batter up!_  
 _Jack: Oh, that bully kid is back._  
 _Monica: Jake._  
 _Jack: I would so like to see Daniel strike him out._  
 _Umpire: Strike!_  
 _Jack: Strike one! He is really good. He is really good! Way to go, Daniel! Swing and a miss, strike two! Here's the pitch. Strike three! You_  
 _Umpire: Time!_  
 _Monica: It's okay. That's my dad and he's still a bit new here._  
 _Umpire: Oh okay, there are no outs in this game._  
 _Jack: No outs? How is that possible?_  
 _Umpire: They hit until they get on base._  
 _Jack: Seriously?_  
 _Umpire: Seriously._  
 _Jack: Let me ask you something. How do you even know who's winning?_  
 _Umpire: In this league we don't keep score. Every game ends in a tie._  
 _Fan: The old guy's right, this is boring._  
 _Jack: You were out!_  
 _Jake: No, I'm not!_  
 _Jack: Oh yea, Daniel, you struck him out._  
 _Daniel: No, I didn't._  
 _Jack: Yes, you did. You're out._  
 _Jake: No, I'm not._  
 _Jack: You're out!_  
 _Jake: No, I'm not._  
 _Jack: Three strikes, you're out!_  
 _Jake: You're out!_  
 _Jack: Well, it's not boring anymore._  
 _-The afternoon before. Jack came into Daniel's room-_  
 _Jack: Listen, Buddy. I'm sorry for embarssing you at school; is there anything I can do?_  
 _Daniel:[Smirks] Well there is one thing..._  
 _-A few minutes later, they are watching Scream 1(Let's pretend Scream came out in 1993, and by extension none of the actors who star in FRIENDS and any of the Scream movies don't exist in real life. Scream 2 came out earlier that year)_  
 _Jack/Daniel: Aargah!_  
 _Jack: They made a sequel of this?!_  
 _Daniel: That was awesome...Grandpa!_  
 _\- Two days later. Monica is at the door of the hotel Chandler is staying at, for business in Upstate New York for five days. He answers to find his wife of 6 years at the door-_  
 _Chandler: I've missed you and the kids, Baby._  
 _Monica: I missed you too._  
 _(They start kissing, as he starts to unbutton her shirt; revealing her bra. He kicked the door closed as they continued kissing, and undressing each other)_


	15. Love

-MAY 1996-  
"Let's get you ready for the day, Baby Girl" Chandler took Clara out of the bassinet- since Monica is still sleeping.  
He took off her diaper and wiped her. Clara whimpered as her father was getting a new diaper, "Oh, Baby. I know it's cold. Daddy's almost done" he placed the diaper on his new baby girl. The baby stopped whimpering, as her daddy dressed her.  
"That's my baby girl" Chandler kissed the top of her head, and carried her into the kitchen where everybody was eating breakfast.  
-Thanksgiving 1995. OPENING CREDITS-  
[SCENE: The Bings and Rachel's apartment]  
Chandler and Monica are currently setting the table.  
"Careful," Monica said as she handed the wedding china to Chandler. He began to separate the plates when she said, "Careful" a second time - this time a little more firmly - then as he set one of the plates down onto the table, she yelled "Careful!", causing Chandler to put them all down onto the table. "Sorry."  
"I tell you what: For the rest of our lives, I'l be careful until told otherwise," Chandler suggested. He then looked at one of the plates and said, "Wait a minute. This isn't the china we picked out."  
"I know. After you left the store I chose different ones," Monica explained as she was wiping of one of the plates.  
"Why?" Chandler asked.  
"Well, no offense, honey, but your taste is a little feminine for me," Monica explained.  
"Oh, suddenly flowers are feminine?" Chandler incredulously questioned.  
Suddenly, there was knock on the door. Chandler answered it to reveal Nora on the other side.  
"Hi, son!" Nora greeted happily.  
"Hi, Mom! Thanks for wearing something," Chandler greeted as they hugged.  
Nora is wearing a tight dress with a lot of cleavage showing.  
"Grandma Bing!" Sophie, Karen and Daniel exclaimed as they bum rushed their grandmother.  
"Hey, there, little sweeties!" Nora greeted as she pulled them all in for a group hug. "Have you three been good to your mommy and daddy?" All three kids replied positively to the question. "Good. Just for that, I have a little gift for you three, an early Christmas gift at that."  
The kids all jumped for joy as Nora handed them their gift. Chandler, on the other hand just rolled his eyes and groaned, having a very good idea of what the gift might be.  
Just then, there was another knock on the door, only this time the door is still open.  
"Hello, all," greeted Chandler's father, Charles Bing, dressed in drag.  
"Hi... Dad," Chandler greeted uncomfortably.  
"Hi, Mr... Bing," Monica greeted in kind.  
"Nora!" Charles coldly said.  
"Charles," Nora responded in kind.  
"It-it's so great to see you both here," Monica awkwardly said.  
"Yes! Although, I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people," Charles agreed while giving Nora the evil eye. "Aren't you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?"  
"Not at all," Nora retorted. "Don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?"  
"Oh my God!" Chandler exclaimed as he and Monica retreated to their bedroom in embarrassment.  
-March 1996-  
Luke asked, "Baby? A baby's in you, Mommy?"  
Monica smiled as she held her baby boy, "Yes. There's a baby in me right now" he smacked her chest on accident- which made her wince.  
"Oww, Luke!" Monica cried; as her and Chandler's second son smacked her chest.  
"Sorry, Mommy" Luke frowned.  
She kissed his forehead, handing him to Phoebe.  
"Auntie Pheebs!" he grinned.  
"He's such a cute little man!" Rachel said.  
"I know!" Monica smiles, as Chandler entered the apartment, and wrapped his arm around her, then rubbed her baby bump- that got bigger everyday, since she hit her seventh month of pregnancy three weeks ago- with their fifth baby. "Hello, Baby Bing" he whispered, patting her large belly- the baby sensing it's daddy, kicked up a storm. The happily couple found that Baby Bing is a girl, the day before.  
-December 1995-  
"I have to take care of some important business, for the restraunt. Oh god, I don't have anyone to take Luke to nursery school, since I don't want him to be with Joey for the day" Monica said.  
"I'll take him" Jack told her.  
"Are you sure. Dad?"  
"Yeah"  
"Okay, well don't leave me stranded out on the road"  
"Alright"  
Outside the nursery school, Jack opens up the Porsche doors.  
He noticed Luke was buckled up- he tried frantically to unbuckle his grandson.  
"Boy, this is harder than one of your grandma's bras" Jack states.  
"Grandpa!" Luke groaned.  
A lady behind them, honked her horn 3 times.  
"It works. I get it" Jack snapped at her.  
He ripped the carseat- with Luke, in it out and handed it to the security guy.  
-Back at the apartment, later that day-  
"Uh, Dad. I think you left Mon stranded in front of the school" Ross pointed out.  
Jack pulled up in front of the school- to find Monica sitting on the sidewalk(like Alice was on Parental Guidance)  
"Where the hell were you?" He asked, and rolled the windows of the porsche down.  
She just shrugged.  
-Later that day- after the cake incident-  
A voice came on screen. Asking, "Would Jack & Daniel, like to continue watching Scream?"  
Everybody stared at them.  
"Dad, you let Daniel watch Scream?" Monica asked.  
"Just a tiny bit" Jack said.  
The voice on screen, said "Rated R for nudity, violence, blood, and gore"  
"Hehe. Gore" Joey chuckles slightly.  
"Everytime?" Rachel asked.  
"Yeah" Joey gigiled.  
-Three days ago-  
Jack woke up on his son in-law and daughter's couch, to find his two granddaughters, Sophie and Karen giggling at him,  
"Girls, what are you doing?" he asked them.  
"Grandpa you have something on your face" Sophie said, still gigling.  
Karen giggles "Yeah." She hands him a mirror.  
Jack noticed paint was on his face, and screamed. "Daniel!"  
"What?" Daniel asked.  
"Did you paint my face, when I was sleeping?"  
"Yeah. Only because Luke dared me to"  
"Luke's only a year old, he can't speak that well" Jack reminds him.  
"Somebody say my name?" Luke appeared near the door of his parent's room, he was craddling his teddy bear in his arms.  
-Two days before-  
[SCENE: Mondler's bedroom]  
"I love you so much. Almost 7 years of marriage" Chandler said.  
"I love you so much too" Monica replied. She was wearing spagetti-strapped pajamas, and her hair was very straight & down.  
They start kissing and about to undress each other, when Luke started jumping on the bed.  
"Mama, Dada!" he exclaimed.  
-The next day-

"Daddy look!" Luke said. He has a pair of Monica's red high heels on.  
"Why are you wearing your Mother's high heels?" Chandler asked his baby boy, "Take them off"  
"No!" Luke cried.  
"Ten dollars to take them off"  
"No. Twenty-five."  
"Deal"

-Back to the present day. September 2009-  
Chandler started to have a nightmare. He wrapped his arms around Monica who was peacefully sleeping, and fell into a deep sleep.  
-20 years later in 2029. Monica got alzhemiers, and her & Chandler live in a nursing home now. Karen has married Joey, and they have 4 kids, Mondler's other 5 kids got married and had kids too. But Clara is widowed now because, her husband Rick died a few years ago.  
"Vistors are here" The nurse interupped their reading.  
They go out to find, five of their seven kids and their grandchildren there.  
"These are his kids" The nurse told Monica.  
(Mondler's kids were named Sophie, Karen, Daniel, Luke, Clara, Liam and Brianna.  
Sophie's kids are Juliette, Miranda, and Marianna  
Karen's are Tyler, Lorraine, Jenny, and Alexa. Plus Joey's three kids from his first marriage to Phoebe.  
Daniel's are Lauren, Natalie, Allyiah, Eliza, and Zachary.  
Luke's are Elizabeth, Jessica, Annabella, Elsa, Serena, and Jillian.  
Clara's are Celeste, Kylie, Dean, Gianna, and Gale.)  
"When are you coming home. Dad?" Sophie asked.  
"I don't know, your Mother is not doing well" Chandler told his oldest daughter.  
"Dad, please come home" Karen begged.  
"I'm giving you & Joey my other house" Chandler smiled. He still had the same sandy brown hair that his sons got from him, but some streaks of gray, and his eyes were still blue as the ocean. He was still very handome for 61 years old.  
Karen was a little confused but she realized what her father was talking about; the beautiful white house he started constructing right after learning Monica was pregnant with Sophie in 1988(Like the one Noah did in the Notebook)  
"Ohh that one" She remarked.  
-That evening when Mondler are talking-  
"What else happened?" Monica asked. Her hair was dark brown(like in S9) but some gray was there, her eyes were still very blue, and she has some marks on her face; that could only be happiness ; love that she felt for her family, friends and husband.  
"They fell in love and concieved their oldest daughter Sophie. She was born on the day they got married. She looked exactly like her mother" Chandler smiled.  
"Dance with me" Monica said. Despite having memory loss, she was still the same competive and loving person.  
He helped her up; turning on the radio to 'I'll be seing you' by Jimmy Durante.  
(SINGING)

"Oh, my darling. Oh my sweetheart. I love you so much." Chandler said, "Oh, my baby."  
"Chandler, Chandler." Monica said, trying to digest everything. "I love you, Angel" He kissed her.  
"What happened to me?" She asked. "Nothing. You just went away for a little while." Chandler kissed her hand.  
"How much time do we have?" Monica questioned as they continued dancing.  
"I'm not sure. Last time it was no more than five minutes. Okay?" Chandler states.  
(SINGING)  
I'll be seeing you In all the old familiar places That this heart of mine embraces. All day through In that small cafe...  
"How are the children?" Monica questions. "Oh, they're fine. Now, they were here today but Liam and Brianna couldn't make it... Little Lorraine , Jenny came too. They're getting so big."  
(SINGING)... carousel, the chestnut trees. The wishing well... "Oh, boy. How fast the time goes." Monica sighed, "Mm-hmm. It flies right on by...Oh yes, it does." Chandler continued kissing her.  
(SINGING) In every lovely summer's day... That's light and gay.  
"Will you tell them I love them?" Monica questions. "Of course I will. I'll always" Chandler assured her. "I'll tell them Sweetheart" he added.  
(SINGING)  
I'll find you In the morning sun And when the night is new I'll be looking at the moon but I'll be seeing you...  
"Remember that story you were reading to me?" She said. "Why, yes." He repiled. "Do you think that I could be her tonight? Would that be all right? You know what we could do? Maybe we could get another car and we could go for a ride. Why could get out of here and just go someplace, you want to?"

Monica continued , "I don't think so. Not tonight, darling." Chandler told her. "Come on, why not? Wait a minute... why did you call me darling? I don't know you. What's going on here? Am I supposed to know you?" her voice turned from calm to frantic, and started crying.  
"Monica... Monica, sweetheart." Chandler tried to calm his wife of 40 years. "No, no, no!" She objected.  
"Hey, Monica, I love you, stay with me, don't leave..." "No! Who are you?" "I'm Chandler, I'm Chandler and you're Monica." he revealed that they were the ones in the story. "What do you want? What are you doing here?" Monica furiously asked, "Come on, baby."  
"Don't come near me! Don't you come near me!"  
"Monica... Monica, l..." Chandler tried saying, "Help! Help! Help me!" Monica shouted; not knowing this man was her husband.  
The nurse rushed in, "Calm down, Monica, calm down" "No, no, not you!" Monica cried, "Calm down, Monica! It's all right, sugar, come on."  
Monica: No! Let me go!  
Nurse: It's all right, baby. Just calm down!  
Monica: No! Leave me alone.  
Nurse: Calm down, Monica, it's all right.  
Monica: Somebody help me!  
Nurse: Now calm down.  
Monica: Help!  
Nurse: Doctor Blake! Talk to me.  
Monica: Somebody help me!  
Doctor Blake: Calm down! Give her two cc's.  
Monica: No! No!  
Nurse: Calm down, Monica. Calm down, Monica, yes. One, two... ...three. Monica, it's all right. It's all right. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, now take a look. Let's take a look. One... oh, she's fine.  
Doctor Blake: Good. Just breathe.  
Nurse: She's fine. She's fine. Stay calm, just breathe in and out, come on. Relax... You're going to be okay, Monica.  
Doctor Blake: Relax. Monica? You're fine, honey. Shh...  
(Chandler's room where he was looking at photo albums. There was a picture of Clara's first birthday back in 1997; in the photo, him and Monica were looking happier than ever- he was kissing up her arm, Ross looking grossed out, Rachel has baby Clara on her lap, Four of Mondler's kids going "Eww!" at their parents showing affection, Joey was winking at Phoebe.- He then fell asleep)  
(SUBGING I'll be seeing you In every lovely summer's day In everything that's light and gay I'll always think of you that way I'll find you in the morning sun And when the night is new... I'll be looking at the moon But I'll be seeing you I'll be seeing you I'll be seeing you.  
Nurse: Morning, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing? Call Dr. Blake and USC, okay?  
Doctor Blake: I've got no BP, I got no pulse. I've got nothing. Let them know we are in full arrest. Call me on my cell.  
Nurse: Okay, will do.  
(LATER ON)  
Nurse: We talked about this. It's all right now(Monica shook her head) Come on, come on, precious. Okay, yes, come on, let's go. It's okay, baby, come on.  
-BACK TO THE PRESENT DAY. SEPTEMBER 2009-  
Chandler woke up to find Monica, watching him sleep.  
"Bad dream?" She asked as she drunk a glass of warm milk.  
"Yeah" He sighed.  
"Well, I've got something that will make you feel better" Monica smiles evilly and started to undo the buttons on his PJ shirt.  
"Yeah, Baby!" Chandler grinned, as he starts to pull down her pajama bottoms.  
(TO BE CONTINUED!)


	16. Always

_-Flashback to July 1989, when Monica's 8 months pregnant with Sophie. -_  
 _"Hey, Baby Girl" Chandler whispers, as the rain continues to fall down outside. It was 3am._  
 _"I'm so uncomfterble" Monica complains._  
 _"Oh, Baby. I wish I can make it better" He kissed her large bump, gathering her in his arms._  
 _"I love you" She said._  
 _"I love you too" He grinned._  
 _He looked at her belly, which moved a bit._  
 _"I love you and Mommy. So much" Chandler told his unborn baby girl; who kicked in response._  
 _Monica smiled as her soon to-be husband bonded with their unborn daughter._  
 _He pulled her closer to him; she rested her head on his chest- he brought her hand with the shappire engagement ring up to his mouth, kissing it._  
 _-January 2006. They all live in Long Island now. It was a few days before Monica had a miscarriage-_  
 _(ROSS IS ON THE BINGS' PORCH READING A BOOK ON DINOSAURS WHEN LUKE COMES OUT AND SITS NEXT TO HIM.)_  
 _Luke: Hey, Uncle Ross?_  
 _Ross: Yes, Luke? What do you want?_  
 _Luke: How do you get a girlfriend?_  
 _Ross: Hm… that's a tough one. You gotta really pay attention to what the lady you're after likes. That's one of ways I got your Aunt Rachel to date me._  
 _Luke: Okay. So everyone in my school is like, obsessed with looks_  
 _Ross: That's every school, kid._  
 _Luke: So then that's the first step? Looking good?_  
 _Ross(Nodding): Yes. You'd best look around in your father's closet and see if there's anything there for you to wear._  
 _Luke: I can do that?_  
 _Ross: Of course. Everyone steals their parents clothes. Sometimes it backfires, but most of the time you get really good classic stuff._  
 _Luke: Thanks, Uncle Ross!_  
 _(Luke ran upstairs to his Dad's closet, then started rummaging around, looking for the best thing for him to wear. Eventually he stumbled upon a really cool looking leather jacket and pulled it off of the hanger. He stood in front of the mirror, nodding approvingly.)_  
 _Luke: I am hot!_  
 _(He goes downstairs into the living room, then shows off his "new" leather jacket. His siblings look at it funny, his dad Chandler is surprised to see his old leather jacket, and his mother gasps.)_  
 _Monica: Luke! Did you take that from your father's closet? Oh, of course you did! Go put it back right this instant!_  
 _Luke(Sighing): All right, Mom._  
 _(He went upstairs and put it back. However, he was not finished. That jacket had not seen the last of him.)_  
 _(THE NEXT MORNING AT BREAKFAST.)_  
 _Monica: Oh, no. Morning sickness!_  
 _(She put a hand over her mouth and dashed out of the room. Luke knew this was the perfect opportunity for him. As he stood up and slipped out of the room, he watched his Aunt Rachel sit on the couch on a lump which was so obviously a whoopee. cushion. The noise proved him right. His older brother Daniel laughed.)_  
 _Joey(Spit out his coffee): Hey, for the last time, I said no salt!_  
 _(Chandler ran into the bathroom where his wife was experiencing morning sickness)_  
 _Chandler: Honey, you OK?_  
 _Monica: I'm fine._  
 _(He smiles and kissed both her hands.)_  
 _Sophie: Oh, Mom and Dad. I don't need to see that while eating breakfeast!_  
 _(Mondler looked at each other; 16 year olds. Their first baby is already 16.)_  
 _(Luke ran into his dad's closet, then grabbed the jacket, put it on and ran off to school.)_  
 _(AT SCHOOL.)_  
 _(Luke was wearing the leather jacket, and as he had hoped, the ladies were flocking all around him. Eventually he retreated to his locker to get his school books, where he placed his hands in his pockets briefly. He felt something inside, and pulled it out. There was a picture of his parents kissing, and it looked like they were in the first two years of college, his Mom looked like she was in her seventh or eighth month of pregnancy with Sophie. At first he thought it was cute, then he gagged.)_  
 _Luke: Parents aren't supposed to do that!_  
 _Monica(Walking up): And kids aren't supposed to steal parents' things. Take it off, Luke._  
 _Luke: But it's the beginning of January! I'll freeze._  
 _Monica (Smiling): Then we'll trade._  
 _(She took off her big fur coat, then proceeded to remove "his" leather jacket and put it on herself. Everyone in the halls started snickering.)_  
 _Monica: See you at dinner, honey._  
 _(As if to reinforce her point, she gave Luke a big kiss on the cheek before striding out of the building as if she had done nothing at all.)_  
 _(Luke was blushing hard, and tried not to notice everyone see at him. He had learned his lesson.)_  
 _One of Luke's friends: Dude, your Mom is hot!_  
 _-Christmas eve 1995-_  
 _"Oh my god" Rachel exclaims, "You are pregnant!"_  
 _"Yes" Monica repiled as a smile creased over her face. "In about five months, I'm going to have a baby" She rubbed her little bump._  
 _"Pregnancies, huh? My sister's not a baby-making machine, Dude" Ross said to Chandler._  
 _"Shut up, Dino Man" Chandler gave him a death glare._  
 _"Oh god. These Bings are like rabbits!" Phoebe exclaims._  
 _"My best friends are having their fifth baby!" Joey hugged the happily married couple._  
 _-Halloween 1995. Monica doesn't know she's a month pregnant with Clara yet-_  
 _[The Bings and Rachel's apartment.]_  
 _"Mama look!" Luke toddled over to his mom._  
 _"Oh, aren't you the cutest little Pubert Addams?" Monica picked him up, holding him close. Mondler had this crazy idea to dress them & their kids as 'The Addams Family' characters. They were going to do it the year before, but Monica was seven months pregnant with Luke, so they had to wait a year._  
 _She went into the bedroom, to check out her makeup; she was going to be Morticia Addams. Chandler was standing at the mirror putting on a fake mustashe, he was going to be Gomez Addams._  
 _"Cara Mia" He grinned in a Gomez-like voice after putting on the fake moustaushe._  
 _"Mon Cherie" She repiled._  
 _He started to kiss up her arm, inhailing her scent of vanilla._  
 _"Eww!" They saw Sophie and Karen- both dressed as Wednesday come in._  
 _Daniel dressed as Pugsley came in too._  
 _"You kids ready to go?" Chandler asked his children._  
 _"Yeah!" the kids nod._  
 _-Flashback to Janurary 1989. The night of the day they saw unborn Sophie for the first time-_  
 _"I can't believe we made this baby, Mon" Chandler broke the silence._  
 _"I know!" Monica smiles._  
 _He placed a free hand on her growing bump, smiling happily. "I can't wait until you start showing fully"_  
 _-_ Present day. 2009-  
In the middle of 1989, it was unlikely to Chandler that he would fall in love with Ross's little sister Monica; and have a baby with her- let alone five kids.  
It was these words that made her fall in love with him. "I wanna hold you in my arms, kiss you, and make love to you" the night of the day she cut his toe off. It ultimatley made them sleep together: concieving their oldest Sophie.  
Monica was in the bathroom taking a test. She and Chandler had talked about having more kids, since their three oldest babies are in college, and their youngest Luke & Clara reside at home with them.  
Five minutes later she checks, the test is postive.  
(TO BE CONTINUED _)_


	17. Love you

_-Early January 2006-_  
 _"Are your parents coming?" Luke's science teacher asks. It was the two of them in the room._  
 _Luke nodded. "They're on their way"_  
 _His oldest sister: 16 year old Sophie walked him, wearing a chefs jacket._  
 _"Hello!" Sophie announced._  
 _"Mom!" Luke exclaims._  
 _"There you are, you little Scamp!" Sophie ruffled his sandy brown hair._  
 _"Dial it down" Luke whispered._  
 _"I'm his science teacher" The teacher introduced._  
 _"Hi"_  
 _"So nice to meet you"_  
 _"Yes. Monica Bing. Owns her own restaurant. Mother of five children" Sophie shook hands with the teacher, asking "How you doing?"_  
 _"Way down" Luke tapped her on the shoulder._  
 _Their 15 year old brother Daniel entered wearing a suit and, has a mustache on his face._  
 _"There's my husband" Sophie smiled at her "husband"_  
 _"Dad?" Luke asked._  
 _"Sorry, I'm late, chaps" Daniel apologized in a British accent. "I'm Chandler"_  
 _"Mr. Bing, I didn't know you were British." The teacher states._  
 _'Yeah, neither did Mrs. Bing." Sophie agrees._  
 _"That's right. I'm British" Daniel grinned proudly._  
 _"What an interesting accent." The teacher repiles, "What part of England are you from?"_  
 _"Ostrich-shi-shi-shire."_  
 _"Pardon?"_  
 _"Ostrich-shi-shi-shire" Daniel says again._  
 _"I don't believe I've heard of Ostrichshire." The teacher said._  
 _"You one 'shi' short, love" Daniel pats her head._  
 _"Dad, I'm in trouble. Let's focus on that." Luke interrupted._  
 _"Yes, Luke has been misbehaving and I thought we should talk about it." The teacher told the "couple"_  
 _"Yes, rest assured, we are aware, and are going to put an end to this behavior." Sophie assured them._  
 _Daniel said, "Yes, I will be taking the young lad out to the hollyhock house where we'll Shepherd his pie."_  
 _"What?" The teacher asked clueless._  
 _" It's just something they say in ostrich-shi-shi; where he's from." Sophie looked at Daniel, with a smug look on her face._  
 _-The next day at the movies-_  
 _"Hey." Philp said._  
 _Sophie smiled "Hey"_  
 _"You look good" Philp complimented his girlfriend._  
 _"You look good" Sophie said back._  
 _"We all look good. Would you sit down?" A man behind them asked, "Trying to do a celebrity unscramble"_  
 _Philp & Sophie sat down. He asked, "Listen Sophie. Is there a reason why I haven't meet your family yet?"_  
 _"No, not at all" Sophie reassured him, as Luke's science teacher sat next to down to the man behind them._  
 _"Look there's Luke's mom" the teacher pointed out, as Philp kissed Sophie passionatley; wrapping his arm around her._  
 _"And she's cheating on her husband" the teacher stated to her son, "Diet?" she asked. "Yeah"_  
 _-Later that day-_  
 _Jade: Let's just pretend our first date never happened._  
 _Daniel: What first date?_  
 _Jade: The one where I puked in the picnic basket._  
 _Daniel: No, it's an expression._  
 _Jade: Puked in the picnic basket's an expression? I don't think that's good._  
 _-A few minutes later-_  
 _Sophie: What's going on gu-? Woah._  
 _Luke's science teacher: There she is with her boyfriend._  
 _Daniel:(to Sophie, in British accent) Cheating on me? You're a married woman._  
 _Philp: You're married?_  
 _Sophie: No._  
 _Luke: Eww!_  
 _Sophie: Luke, get in here._  
 _Luke: Yes, mother._  
 _Philp: Now, I see why you didn't want me to meet your family._  
 _(Mondler, Karen and Clara enter)_  
 _Luke: Grandma, grandpa!(Hugs Mondler)_  
 _Monica: What's going on?_  
 _Luke's science teacher: I came to talk to Luke's parents._  
 _Chandler: We're Luke's parents._  
 _Luke: That's right, Grandpa. You're my dad! (To the teacher) Sometimes he likes to think he's the president._  
 _Sophie(Smiling): Me and Philip are dating._  
 _Daniel: Stop throwing that in my face!_  
 _Sophie: We're done with that part._  
 _Daniel: Jolly good!_  
 _-Flashback a few days later-_  
 _At the Bing house. Chandler was playing classical music on the guitar, Sophie was painting, Daniel was tending to the garden outside, and Karen & Clara was watching them._  
 _"Oh, Father. That was lovely" Sophie smiled. "Your finger-picking is so delicate"_  
 _"Almost as delicate as that apple; That you're paining, Dear" Chandler said to his and Monica's oldest daughter. Sophie acted so much like her, and looked just like her._  
 _Monica came out in a apron dress, with her hair curled, a bump is starting to show, now that she's seven weeks pregnant. She rang a bell. "Dinner is in 15 minutes. Tonight we're having COQ au vin, and white aspragus"_  
 _She then reliazed something, "Oh my, I still have on my afternoon pearls"_  
 _Luke came out wearing a sweater vest, "Mother. The table is set. How else may I help you?"_  
 _Daniel then came back into the house, "Father, the garden is watered, and fertillized."_  
 _9 year old Clara started playing with the piano._  
 _-November 1994. Set in between (1x08) 'TOW Nana dies twice and (10x9) 'TOW Underdog gets away' Monica's eight months pregnant with Luke now, and is due in a few weeks-_  
 _Chandler: You know we have a new baby on the way, right? Your baby brother?_  
 _Karen: Where is it?_  
 _Monica: It's in Mommy's tummy._  
 _Karen: Did you eat it? When is it going to be here?_  
 _Chandler: On december 12._  
 _-Janurary 2006-_  
 _"Time to say goodbye" Sophie dumped rotten cottage cheese in the trash._  
 _Her best friend for years, Eliza's mom came out in a yellow headless cloak._  
 _She sang "Oh, when the cheese smells really bad. Oh, when the cheese smells really bad. Oh, it's time to dump it out, and have a cup of yougurt instead"_  
 _"Ah um, but I don't want yougurt" Sophie insists._  
 _"She just wants cheese" Eliza's mom said as on clue; Mondler, Karen, Daniel, Luke & Clara, Joey, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe all popped out in headless yellow cloaks too, singing "She just wants cheese. Cottage cheese", "She said cottage cheese. Cottage cheese"_  
 _"It's because I had yogurt earlier" Sophie sang._  
 _"Why don't you just wait" Daniel and Luke sang, and Mondler sang "Till dinner?"_  
 _" 'Cause I need a snack right now" Sophie sings._  
 _"She needs a snack!" Luke got on his hands and knees._  
 _"I need a snack! Snack, snack time. I need a snack. Yeah yeah! I need a snack. Yeah, ooh-oh, snack time. Oh! Oh! It's snack time. Yeah, snack. Snack time!" Sophie sang in a wavering voice as Chandler picked her up, carrying her into her bedroom. "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!"_


	18. Water Tower

_-Late October/Early November 1994. Set in between 1x06 & 10x7 (AN: They- the Friends characters, aren't famous but let's pretend they are, somewhat famous) The Bings were invited to the Ellen DeGeneres show._  
 _Ellen: Monica Bing was seen leaving Iridum; one of Manhattan's most respected restraunts, with a baby bump in the motion. The chef has confirmed that her & husband, junior copywriter Chandler Bing are expecting a fourth child; a boy that's due December 12. How sweet, a brother for their kids Sophie, Karen and Daniel! A special guest and her family are here._  
 _(The Bings came on screen.)_  
 _Ellen: So, Chef Bing, how old were you when you had your oldest?_  
 _Monica: I was 17 years old, when Sophie was concieved when me and Chandler had slept together on the night I cut off his toe for calling me fat the year before- I was overweight for years, until I lost the weight in 1988. He proposed to me on Valentines day 1989, and the day we were supposed to get married; august 9, 1989 was when Sophie was born. My water broke as I was saying my vows and I exclaimed 'God!", then Chandler asked me what was wrong, and I said "The baby's coming right now!" So my brother Ross suggested we go to the hospital, and apparently I was 10 centimeters when we got there. Because I was told I had to push, right after they rushed me there, I said 'STOP IT, I WILL NOT HAVE THIS BABY UNTIL I AM A MARRIED WOMAN!' Chandler asked me 'Are you sure you want do this now?' Then we got married. He was my first love, and the only person I've ever done it with. (Auidance goes 'Aww!' and Ellen claps)_

 _-November 1994 at the Bings and Rachel's apartment-_  
 _"Mommy's making room for her baby" Sophie said and hopped on her daddy's lap, since she could no longer fit on her mom's lap anymore, because her mom's baby bump is getting bigger. Her 4 year old twin siblings Karen & Daniel sat next to them._

 _"How you feelin' My love?" Chandler asked his eight months pregnant wife._  
 _"Baby Boy Bing's very active right now" Monica took off her chefs jacket, starting to make a peanut butter & jelly sandwich with jalepenos. It was something she craved most day; other days she craved vanila ice cream with pickles, and blueberry pancakes with ketchup._

 _"What'cha making?" Rachel and Phoebe's voices had startled the pregnant woman._  
 _"What the hell?" Monica asked angrilly. The two friends frowned, "I-am sorry, the pregnancy my-my hormones" She started to cry as Rachel and Phoebe hugged her._

 _-Earlier that day-_  
 _"Look at her. I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss." Chandler watched his eight months pregnant wife, sleep peacefully._  
 _Monica wakes up._  
 _"Happy, darling?" he asked, as he kissed her large bump._  
 _"Oh, yes. Yes completely." Monica replies._  
 _Chandler sits up._

 _-July 1989. Monica is now eight months pregnant with Sophie, her and Chandler's wedding is near the date their baby girl is due-_

 _Monica, Ross, and Rachel were all sitting at the kitchen table of The Geller house. Jack and Judy has gone out with another couple who was in town visiting and so the three young adults had planned on having a movie night. They'd ordered pizzas and inviteed Chandler but he had to work but said he'd try to stop by later. And the pizzas well that wasn't going very well either._  
 _Ross and Rachel watched Monica stack three pizzas on top of each other then pour mountains of parmesan cheese on them before dunking the trip in a tub of ranch dressing. She took a bite and a look of pure bliss appeared on her face._  
 _Monica:Mmm…_  
 _Rachel: Um Monica, you want something else? Maybe something healthier for the baby or something to wash the pizza down with._  
 _Ross: Or a napkin._  
 _He pointed at the glop of ranch dressing on Monica's cheek that she quickly wiped off._  
 _Monica: Shut up, I am eating for two now._  
 _Ross: Two or two hundred?_  
 _Rachel reached over and smacked Ross on the arm._  
 _Rachel: Just because Chandler's not here doesn't mean you get to fill in for him. Be nice to your sister._  
 _Suddenly Monica stopped eating. She dropped her pizzas back on her plate and stood up from her seat. Ross and Rachel didn't even notice until Monica hurriedly waddled out of the kitchen._  
 _Rachel: Mon, what's wrong?_  
 _Monica: Leave me alone!_  
 _Ross: Hormones._  
 _Rachel glared at Ross and hit him on the head this time before storming off in the same direction Monica had taken off in._  
 _Rachel walled into Monica's room to find her sitting on her bed crying and stuffing handfuls of something into her mouth._  
 _Rachel: Monica? Are you okay?_  
 _Monica: I'm fine. Just, just go away._  
 _Rachel: Mon, you're not fine you're upset and crying and what are you eating?_  
 _Monica: Nothing._  
 _(Rachel tries to take the box away from Monica but Monica holds on tight. They continue to struggle for the box until Monica finally lets go and Rachel sees it's one of the old macaroni decorated jewelry boxes Monica had made in camp when she was little, but several of the macaroni pieces were missing.)_  
 _Rachel: Monica, were you eating this?_  
 _Monica: It's what the baby wants!_  
 _Rachel: Okay, I'm pretty sure your baby does not want uncooked macaroni for dinner…although it's not the weirdest craving you've had so far. What's going on, Mon?_  
 _(Rachel sits on the bed next to Monica and tucks some hair behind Monica's ear.)_  
 _Monica: What's going on? Rachel look at me! What am I?_  
 _Rachel: Pregnant?_  
 _Monica: And what are pregnant women?_  
 _Rachel: Um women carrying babies…Monica, I'm really not seeing the point in the game._  
 _Monica: Rachel, I'm fat. Okay, I'm fat!_  
 _(Seeing how upset Monica is Rachel hugs her close)_  
 _Rachel: Oh honey, you're not fat. You're pregnant._  
 _Monica; That's just a nice word for fat. I'm fat!_  
 _Rachel: But it's a good fat, a cute kinda fat._  
 _Monica: Oh yeah? According to who?_  
 _Rachel: Well me and I'm sure Chand…Oh no._  
 _Monica: Oh yeah. Chandler. He made such a big deal when I was fat remember?. He thought I was gross and ugly when I was fat. So I lost all that weight and now thanks to him I'm gonna get all fat again and he's just gonna think I'm gross and ugly and then he's gonna leave me!_  
 _Monica breaks down into tears and Rachel hugs her again trying to stop her crying.)_  
 _Rachel: Oh Mon, I'm sure that's not true. Chandler loves you now. He loves you so so much. You could get as big as a house and he wouldn't care. He'd still love you so so much; you are having his baby girl in three weeks._  
 _Monica: You think I'm as big as a house?_  
 _Rachel: No, no I said you could get. And besides remember this is about chandler not me._  
 _Monica: Right. Do you really think Chandler loves me so much he wouldn't care how fat I got?_  
 _Rachel: I do. But maybe you should ask him yourself._  
 _Monica: Yeah okay. Thanks Rach._  
 _Again Monica and Rachel hug and when they stop hugging, Rachel hands Monica the half eaten jewelry box._  
 _Monica: You know this uncooked macaroni isn't that bad._  
 _She holds up a noodle to Rachel but Rachel shakes her head._

 _-Late August 1989 at the Geller parents house in NY-_  
 _[Scene: The Bings. Phoebe, Monica, Carol, Ross and Rachel are watching Sophie sleep.]_  
 _Phoebe: She's just so cute! I just wanna bite her ear off and use it and a sucking candy._  
 _Rachel: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket._  
 _Chandler: (enters from the bed room) Okay I put most of the stuff away._  
 _Monica: Oh great, the pacifiers?_  
 _Chandler: In the closet._  
 _Monica: The burping clogs?_  
 _Chandler: Linen closet._  
 _Monica: The diapers?_  
 _Chandler: In the hospital._  
 _Phoebe: Wow you guys got a hospital? Fancy!_  
 _Chandler: No I left the diapers at the hospital! There's some in the bag but I'll run out and get some more._  
 _Monica: Alright thanks Love, oh Chandler honey could you stop by the coffee house and get me a muffin?_  
 _Chandler: Sure what kind?_  
 _Monica: Umm let me think...What do I want, what d-o I w-a-n-t..._  
 _Chandler: Please take your time, it's an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to get married in the hospital right after your water had broken, this is about a muffin._  
 _Monica: Blueberry._  
 _Chandler: Blueberry it is._  
 _Monica: Thanks._  
 _Chandler: Bye baby girl. (Kisses his wife and newborn daughter)_  
 _(Exit Chandler)_  
 _Monica: I got the cutest little baby ever, she looks just like me. Oh! I can't believe how much I love her, I can't get enough of her, like right now I miss her. I actually miss her._  
 _Phoebe: You know that's… that's her._  
 _Monica: Oh god look at her sleeping. Oh, I love her so much! Oh, I think I'm gonna wake her up._  
 _Phoebe: Oh no, Mon, no no, you know you're never supposed to wake a sleeping baby._  
 _Monica: Well I can do whatever I want! Me and Chandler made her! (Waking Sophie up.) Come on baby girl, hi!_  
 _(Sophie starts crying)_  
 _Phoebe: I can say I told you so but she's kinda doing that for me._  
 _Monica: Oh I'm sorry mummy's so sorry go back to sleep go back to sleep. Shh. Shhh! Go back to sleep_  
 _(Sophie continues crying in the background)_  
 _Rachel: Breaks your heart doesn't it?_  
 _Phoebe: It really does… how long do you think we have to stay?_  
 _Commercial Break_  
 _[Scene: The Geller parents's house in Baldwin, Sophie is still crying.]_  
 _Rachel: Try feeding her again._  
 _Monica: I already fed her._  
 _Rachel: I know, that's why I said again!_  
 _Phoebe: Alright you guys, we can't turn on each other, Okay? That's just what she wants._  
 _Joey: (enters) Hey._  
 _Rachel: Hey._  
 _Joey: Rachel can I talk to you outside for a minute?_  
 _Monica: Oh no, you guys, just stay here, I'm gonna go check her diaper, Pheebs and Carol, you guys wanna come?_  
 _Phoebe: Oh I'm kinda part of this._  
 _Joey: Actually Pheebs its more of a boyfriend and girlfriend kinda thing_  
 _Phoebe: I knew I should have dated Joey._  
 _(Monica, Carol, and Phoebe go to the back room and Sophie continues to cry in the background while Joey and Rachel talk. Ross walks into the den)_  
 _Rachel: Okay what's up?_  
 _Joey: Umm, I think we should stop seeing each other._  
 _(Sophie continues crying)_  
 _Joey: (hears Baby Sophie crying) What is wrong with Sophie?_  
 _Rachel: Oh she misunderstood, she thought she was breaking up._  
 _TIME LAPSE_  
 _[Scene: The Geller parents house, Sophie continues to cry.]_  
 _Monica: Oh my God! How long has she been crying?_  
 _Carol: About a week and a half._  
 _Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so I'm just gonna go. (She gets up and Monica looks at her, upset, and Rachel just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)_  
 _Rachel: Mon, try holding her a different way._  
 _Monica: You guys, I'm doing the best I can, anyone else is welcome to try._  
 _Phoebe: Alright, I'll try, fine! Yes, Okay!_  
 _Monica: Here you go. (Hands Sophie to Phoebe)_  
 _Phoebe: Shh! Nothing works with this child! (Hands her back) No good can come out of having sex with Chandler!_  
 _Ross: Eww, Pheebs!_  
 _Monica: Oh god what am I gonna do you guys, I can't even comfort my own baby! I'm the worst mother ever! And I wanted a baby my whole live; now I have one! (Starts to cry)_  
 _Ross: You're just new at this, it'll get better, think about when you lost all that weight. I mean, that couldn't have been easy but you figured that out._  
 _Monica: Yeah I don't think taking diet pills and excersing daily is going to help me here! Oh my god just please take her._  
 _Rachel: Okay I'll take her, here. (Takes Sophie)_  
 _Monica: I have to go to the bathroom. (Goes to the bathroom)_  
 _Phoebe: I have to go scream into a pillow. (Goes to scream into a pillow)_  
 _Rachel: (To Sophie) Bouncy baby, Bouncy baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby. (Sophie stops crying and falls asleep)_  
 _Carol: (entering) Have I gone deaf?_  
 _Rachel: It worked! Ooh baby baby baby, ooh baby baby baby!_  
 _Phoebe: You must be a fireball in bed._  
 _Rachel: I can't believe it! She's asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers!_  
 _Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Rachel looks at her strangely) I'm kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)_  
 _Monica: Oh my God! You got her to stop crying!_  
 _Rachel: Yes I did, I'm Rachel, Super Aunt._  
 _Monica: You are the official baby crier stopper!_  
 _Rachel: Yes I am!_  
 _Monica: You're never leaving my parents home!_  
 _Rachel: Say what?_  
 _Monica: That's your new job, day and night, she starts crying I need you here._  
 _Rachel: (stands up to hand Sophie back) Oh no no no no!_  
 _Phoebe: Thankfully you don't need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Monica let's give it six to eight months (she leaves)._  
 _Monica: Okay so listen I'm gonna go lay down._  
 _Rachel: What?_  
 _Monica: You know the book says that whenever she's sleeping I should be sleeping so… (She gives Rachel thumbs and goes to lay down)_  
 _-Back to the present day-_

Daniel, Luke(Mondler's sons), Jason(one of Rachel & Ross's sons), Joey Jr(Joey and Phoebe's son) and Ben(Ross's son from his marriage to Carol) are all standing on top of the water tower painting something green on it. Jaci(one of Jason's sisters) Mila(Luke's girlfriend) and Clara(One of Daniel & Luke's sisters) are sitting, looking out over Baldwin, talking. Song: "Place in the Sun" by Pablo Cruise.)  
Jaci: Oh my god. From up here, Baldwin looks just like Rome.  
Clara: You think that looks like Rome? God, no wonder you think Joey Jr could be a model.

Joey Jr: Whoa, I could so be a model!  
Jason: C'mon, man; shut up and just keep painting.  
Joey Jr: (Jumps down) It's done! (laughs)  
Luke: Gentlemen, we have finally done it. A pot leaf on the water tower!  
Daniel: This is the proudest moment of my life!  
(Jason looks the leaf over.)  
Jason: It doesn't look like a pot leaf.  
Joey Jr: What?  
Jason: It looks like a hand giving the finger!  
Joey Jr: Well, it doesn't have to look perfect, Jason! It's art!  
Jason: Get up and make it better!  
Joey Jr: Fine! (He climbs up on the railing of the tower to paint more.)

Jason: Just…yeah, make it wider…right up there, yeah. Out further, though. Yeah. Right up, there you go…  
(Joey Jr falls out of the tower.)  
Jaci: Oh my god, Joey Jr!  
Jason: Hey Joey Jr!  
Joey Jr: Yeah?  
Jason: How's it look from down there?  
Joey Jr.: It looks like it's giving me the finger!

(The gang is walking into The Bing's living room. Joey Jr is holding his arm.)  
Clara: You guys, this is so stupid. We should just take him to the hospital.  
Joey Jr: No, Clara, then my dad and Karen will find out, your sister is crazy…(flicks his wrist) OWWW! OOOH!  
Luke: Ok, my mom's got a first-aid kit. I'm gonna go wake her up. Maybe she can…fix him.  
Ben: Just don't wake up Uncle Chandler, though. He'll kill us all.  
Luke: Gee, ya think? (he goes up stairs)  
(He opens the door and sees Chandler and Monica having sex. Song: "Tell Me Something Good" by Rufus. He goes back down stairs, scared and nervous.  
Luke: Ok, let's go. Everybody hop in the car and let's…go now.  
Joey Jr: Where's your mom?  
Luke: (grabs Joey Jr.) Shut up! Don't you dare talk about my mother!

(Early in the morning, Luke replays walking in on Chandler and Monica having sex in his mind. He wakes up and screams. His clock says 4:10. It happens again. The clock says 4:21. Song: "The End" by The Doors. The radio comes on. Song: "Tell me something Good" by Rufus. Luke covers his head with his blanket.)

-The next morning-

(Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table. Monica is reading a pamphlet titled "Is Johnny High?")  
Monica: Well, ok, now, um…so far Luke is nine out of ten. He's got, he's got blood shot eyes, mood swings, irregular appetite, odd sleeping patterns, oh Chandler! Our Johnny is high!  
Chandler: Monica, that's nonsense! He's not on drugs, he's…just weird! You thought the same thing with Daniel!  
(Luke stumbles in with his jacket half on and drops his books. He picks them up again)  
Monica: Morning. Hungry? (asks, pointing to pamphlet and showing Chandler)  
Luke: Um, I overslept and I'm late for school…it's…um, bye.  
(he leaves)  
Chandler: That kid's on dope.  
Monica: Well, I'll say. It's Sunday.

***  
(Luke stands in the kitchen watching toast pop up. His 19 year old sister and Daniel's twin, Karen walks in.)  
Karen: Luke?  
Luke: Get off my mom. What?  
Karen: What is it with you? You've been extra loser-y lately.  
Luke: I saw mom and dad having sex.  
(Karen is shocked and tries to comfort him, hugs him. Song: "Psycho".)  
Karen: Oh! Oh, you poor thing! It's alright, it's okay! Baby's fine!  
Luke: Oh, Karen! It was horrible and I can't get the image out of my mind! I mean it was mom and dad, but they were…they were like pair of wildebeests on a National Geographic special.

(Cut to fake National Geographic special. You can see a plant shaking in the Bing's living room as the announcer talks.)  
Announcer: Deep in the unexplored psyche of a confused young man is a wilderness called…(Luke pops out from behind the plant) "Wild New York." After several days of tracking, we've finally located the den of the wily Chandler. Here we see "Suburbus sexmaniacus" Tracking his prey through the living room. (Chandler is mixing drink, Monica is applying make up.) Observe, as the male indicates his interest in mating by making loud, aggressive noises.(Chandler turns on the blender and mixes it's contents together.) The female's attractive double-knit pants suit and scarlet lips signal her readiness. (Monica applies lipstick and closes her compact.) This display is not lost on the male. (Chandler stands up holding two glasses and approaches Monica.) Oh, there he goes! Let's watch. (Chandler hands a glass to Monica. They clink glasses and drink, then turn to each other and start to make out.)

(Cut back to the kitchen. Karen is holding Luke's hand and talking to him.)  
Karen: Luke, I am so sorry. But you have to understand. Mom and Dad are in love; they have been married for 20 years. They have urges and needs, just like us.  
Luke: No urges. No needs.  
Karen: I learned in psychology class that what you went through is traumatic. But don't worry, many people have had this same experience.  
Luke: Really? And they turned out all Right?  
(She nods, then stops.)  
Karen: Well, some of them turned out to be serial killers. But, I'm sure that's just a coincidence! But, whatever.  
Luke: You know what the sad thing is? I actually think you're trying to be nice.  
Karen: Yeah, it's just not my strong suit. Sorry.  
Luke: So, I'll be alright?  
(She pauses.)  
Karen: No.

(Mila and Luke are sitting in the car. She yawns and stretches her arms out, she kisses him gigling, he strokes her long midnight hair then looks into her gray eyes. Song: "The Things We Do for Love".)  
Luke: Mila, I'm really not in the mood.  
Mila: Oh, come on. I'm just trying to get a little action here!  
Luke: Mila, I just can't.  
Mila: Come on, all the other guys are doing it. (This gets no response from Luke.) What's going on? Are you like, mad at me or something?  
Luke: I just…Mila, I saw my parents having sex.  
Mila: (Jumps back) Oh, god! Eeew!  
Luke: Yeah.  
Mila: And you liked it, right?  
Luke: Oh, god no! That's sick! That was sick!  
Mila: I'm kidding Luke, I'm kidding!  
Luke Oh! Ha, good one.  
Mila: Alright, look. I'm gonna tell you something I've never told anybody else, alright? When I was twelve I saw my parents doing it.  
Luke: (Surprised) How…how did you get over it?  
Mila: Well, at first I was like, completely freaked out! But then eventually the pain receded, and I was able to live again.  
Luke: Mila, I don't see this receding. I mean, I walked in on my parents and they were…right in the middle.  
Mila: Oh, god, that's nothing. I caught my parents outside, in broad daylight, on the hammock. Where I used to read, like, my Nancy Drew mysteries.  
Luke: Wow, man that is so much worse than mine.  
Mila: Oh, god! I can remember like, little bits of naked skin peeking through the holes of the hammock.  
(she starts to look far-away)  
Luke: Wow. It's weird, but, knowing what you've been through just makes me feel so much better. Because, you're like, totally over it. Right?  
Mila: (Interrupting) And later, they came inside, and they had like, this checkerboard pattern all over their arms and legs! And my dad laughed, and said they fell asleep on the hammock. But I knew it was a lie. I knew what he did to my mom!  
(Clamps her hand over her mouth.)  
Luke: Your mom. (pause) Okay, I'm ready to fool around.  
Mila: Will you take me home?  
Luke: Right.

(Luke is sitting in a chair by the kitchen table. Chandler and Monica are talking to him. Sophie is stading nearby reading a magazine.)  
Monica: Luke? Your father and I have noticed that you've been acting very strangely lately.  
Chandler: Like a hippie.  
Monica: Is there something you want to tell us?  
Chandler: Are you on dope? Are you?  
Monica: Because, because, we can help get you clean. There is counseling, hospitalization…  
Chandler: My foot kicking your ass.  
Luke: Mom, Dad, I'm not on drugs.  
Monica: (Almost collapses) Oh, what a relief! You have no idea what…  
Chandler: Mon, Mon, he's lying! That's what the hop-heads do.  
Luke: Oh, dad, I swear, I'm not on drugs.  
Chandler: Well then what the hell's wrong with you?  
Luke: Well, I accidentally…I was upstairs, and I-I-I…Ok, you know what? I'm on drugs.  
Sophie: (stops reading her magazine.) Oh, for god's sake. He saw you guys doing it! There! I helped. (Whispered to Luke) Karen told me.  
(She leaves)  
Monica: Oh, honey. Were your father and I having intercourse?  
Luke: MOM!  
Monica: Well, no wonder you've been acting so weird! Chandler, say something. Make him feel better.  
Chandler: Um…It's more fun than it looks.  
Monica: Chandler…  
Chandler: What? Well, what do you want me to say?  
Luke: No, no, you know what? You guys do it, and um, I'm okay with that. So...thanks.  
Chandler: Sure thing. I just, hope you learned your lesson.  
Luke: Oh! Yes sir, I did. Wait a second. What lesson?  
Chandler: Always knock!  
Luke: Oh.  
Monica: Oh, oh, even in the middle of the afternoon.  
Luke: Oh my god!  
(he leaves)  
Chandler: Damn, that was funny, heh heh.  
Monica: Well, I don't, I don't know how funny it is, I mean, what if that had been you walking in on your parents? (There's a pause. Chandler looks uncomfortable. ) And your father is a drag queen. I imagine that would have been quite something.  
Chandler: Quit it Monica, I saw my parents doing with other people.  
Monica: Oh, Chandler.  
(She tries to kiss him.)  
Chandler: Hey, don't.  
(she chases him)  
Chandler: Hey, now, stop it.  
 _END_ OF CHAPTER! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW :)


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